Abandoned Character
(he./him)
- Mar 24, 2023
- 269
If you are not interested in being completely honest with yourself, you are not interested in what I have to say. However, if you are interested in radical self-honesty, then you must understand the difference between "I am angry," "I feel angry," and "I notice I feel angry."
To start simply, let's say you are in your car, stopped by a passing train. The train blares it's horn, what are you likely to say about that experience? Would you say "I am [train noises]," "I hear [train noises]," or "I notice that I hear [train noises]." You do not say "I am BWAAAAAAAA." You are much more likely to say/think "I hear the sound of the train's horn." This seems obvious. Sound enters your awareness, and you note that experience. Why then, when emotions enter our awareness, we identify with that experience rather than simply notice its happening?
When something upsets you, you say/think "I am angry." Do you see how such thinking is misleading? It is not that you are angry, it is more accurate to say that "I am feeling anger." Even this is not perfect. We would say "I notice that I feel anger," or "I notice that anger is going on," if we want to be completely honest with ourselves.
Of course, it is not very efficient to say "I notice that depression is going on," nor is it a particularly useful distinction all by itself. I still say "I am frustrated," but with the knowledge that such lingual shortcuts are hiding the true image of what is going. When I am feeling particularly powerful emotions, I am sure to remind myself that all of these feelings are going on, rather than things that I am. For me personally, this kind of thinking helps me stay level headed when my anxiety would otherwise spiral out of control.
I do not share this as a solution, but moreso as a tool to add to your toolbox of coping mechanisms and strategies that you may take with you on your road of recovery.
Cheers.
To start simply, let's say you are in your car, stopped by a passing train. The train blares it's horn, what are you likely to say about that experience? Would you say "I am [train noises]," "I hear [train noises]," or "I notice that I hear [train noises]." You do not say "I am BWAAAAAAAA." You are much more likely to say/think "I hear the sound of the train's horn." This seems obvious. Sound enters your awareness, and you note that experience. Why then, when emotions enter our awareness, we identify with that experience rather than simply notice its happening?
When something upsets you, you say/think "I am angry." Do you see how such thinking is misleading? It is not that you are angry, it is more accurate to say that "I am feeling anger." Even this is not perfect. We would say "I notice that I feel anger," or "I notice that anger is going on," if we want to be completely honest with ourselves.
Of course, it is not very efficient to say "I notice that depression is going on," nor is it a particularly useful distinction all by itself. I still say "I am frustrated," but with the knowledge that such lingual shortcuts are hiding the true image of what is going. When I am feeling particularly powerful emotions, I am sure to remind myself that all of these feelings are going on, rather than things that I am. For me personally, this kind of thinking helps me stay level headed when my anxiety would otherwise spiral out of control.
I do not share this as a solution, but moreso as a tool to add to your toolbox of coping mechanisms and strategies that you may take with you on your road of recovery.
Cheers.
