Discussion Sensitive

[English_Rose]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

 

[Redt2go]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

The people you want to be like are either callous and unemotional with issues or they're very good at hiding their emotions... It's a fasad

 

[Johnnythefox]

feel like a failure as a woman...

I doubt very much that you are a failure, being sensitive is not a sign of failing.

 

[English_Rose]

I doubt very much that you are a failure, being sensitive is not a sign of failing.

But it feel's like people walk all over me, because they know I won't say no, or that I'm not confrontations. So I end up not telling people my issues with Mental Health and other worries, in fear of being rejected even more. Most women I know are sassy, and I envy that.

 

[Johnnythefox]

But it feel's like people walk all over me, because they know I won't say no, or that I'm not confrontations. So I end up not telling people my issues with Mental Health and other worries, in fear of being rejected even more. Most women I know are sassy, and I envy that.

It can be difficult to say no, but once you start saying it, it becomes easier.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi, I don't know if you grew up in a household that had aggression in or concealed aggression? Or whether you experienced in school an environment where you didn't feel safe or validated?

It sounds a little as if you may have some sort of anxiety or ptsd from an experience that has happened where you were frightened by something and felt incapable. But now you're 34, a strong, independent woman and mother (I think?) and you've got this.

There are techniques to help you cope in these sorts of situations.

 

[JustAboutDone]

It can be difficult to say no, but once you start saying it, it becomes easier.

@Johnnythefox is spot on - I recently had to set some boundaries with people and it was easier than I thought and I wished I'd done it years ago!

I actually used another bit of his advice from another thread a while back and I practised in front of the mirror my speech until I was ready!

Ss is all round useful advice

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

Aw. I'm a 34-year-old woman from America and I'm pretty sensitive. Being this way isn't uncommon at all.

 

[Taylor]

I'm a very sensitive, gentle natured, and generally soft spoken, 6'5" man! Trust me I get it, and you're not the only one. :)

 

[Jiva]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

Today's world says, that an aggressive psychopaths are good. Says that be aggressive is a positive attribute. Says peaceful people are weak and miserable. Psychopaths dominate in a job, in a politic. It is the reason, why world goes into hell. It makes me sad. Hug.

 

[odette]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

I'm exactly like you! I could have written this post. Only thing to add is that I panic from sex, too. I'm close to your age as well. I would love to hear your answer to JustAboutDone's question. I'm wondering if we have a similar background?

 

[Watcher]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

Maybe, it can be an avoidant personality disorder, it's a common personality disorder and easy to overcome.

 

[English_Rose]

The people you want to be like are either callous and unemotional with issues or they're very good at hiding their emotions... It's a fasad

True, its just hard sometimes.

 

[English_Rose]

Maybe, it can be an avoidant personality disorder, it's a common personality disorder and easy to overcome.

I've never heard of that before. I will look into it.

 

[English_Rose]

@Johnnythefox is spot on - I recently had to set some boundaries with people and it was easier than I thought and I wished I'd done it years ago!

I actually used another bit of his advice from another thread a while back and I practised in front of the mirror my speech until I was ready!

Ss is all round useful advice

I've more or less stepped away from most people I know, parents included. I just find it real difficult to be around a ton of people, especially strong willed people. I never know what to talk about or how to reply with whatever they are asking me, it generally always feels like a personal attack, I'm sure it's not, but my head tells me it is. I've never really figured out how to over come this, but a mirror might be a good start.

 

[English_Rose]

I'm exactly like you! I could have written this post. Only thing to add is that I panic from sex, too. I'm close to your age as well. I would love to hear your answer to JustAboutDone's question. I'm wondering if we have a similar background?

It's awful isn't it. It's so consuming, it's like you want to be strong and confident like everybody else, but you just can't. And the harder you try, the worse it feel's. Sex is something I struggle with, as in watching movies etc, I get all coy or silly, like nervous! So usually avoid watching it on t.v. if it's in movies I mean..Not physically, I seem ok with that on a personal level. I'm going to try change this, as it's becoming to much..

 

[English_Rose]

Today's world says, that an aggressive psychopaths are good. Says that be aggressive is a positive attribute. Says peaceful people are weak and miserable. Psychopaths dominate in a job, in a politic. It is the reason, why world goes into hell. It makes me sad. Hug.

I agree with all that you say. It is a world full of dominant people, my husband is very dominant, but I'm going to help myself get stronger, mentally, physically one way or another. It's no fun being this way. Thank you.

 

[Donewith_]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. i can relate with it. I literally used to pray everyday that i should not be scolded by anyone, and i should not get hurt.. when i was a pre-teen. I later came to know that i am extremely sensitive. I can not control my tears when i cry, this was a huge problem to me when i grew up. some of my teachers used to not scold me directly, but used to scold other person, when they wanted to scold me..which i used to pick up. So many people know about my problem.
but, now its a bit different.. messed up actually. I feel some things extremely and i can't feel some other things due to emotional numbing i think. I myself did not get out of this, yeah.. it is hard.

 

[Jiva]

I agree with all that you say. It is a world full of dominant people, my husband is very dominant, but I'm going to help myself get stronger, mentally, physically one way or another. It's no fun being this way. Thank you.

3x Hug.

 

[Surferonce]

I'm a 34 year old woman, I'm from England and generally keep myself away from masses of public! I much prefer smaller groups of people, and one's who are generally of a calmer disposition.
If I'm around any sort of confrontation, I panic. If I'm shouted at, by someone, for whatever reason, I cry! If I'm around aggressive people, I freeze. People see this as peculiar behavior, and I tend to agree! I find myself wondering why, a woman can be so sensitive in such a way, that it make's me into a quivering mess! then I start to hate on myself and start to pray that I'll wake up stronger, or at least a lot more able to handle situations that I find myself in, that may require me to be more...stand offish!

It's so frustrating that I'm not some hard faced badass, who can stand up to everyone! Kinda makes me feel like a failure as a woman...

Why am I this way? :/

I can relate. I'm easily intimidated with people. I try to avoid conflicts as much as I can. I always submit to people. I prefer to be alone most of the times. I can't live like this. That's why I'm always involve with stupid shits.