Selfharm relapse

[Nymph]

I relapsed yesterday and cut myself with those refills for box cutters. It was brand new and I even accidentally cut myself just getting it out of the package. Did it on my for arm. Now I have a big bandage. I didn't cut too deep because it's been a while since I last did it and I'm a scaredy-cat. I've been so depressed since yesterday, it feels like my chest and heart are physically heavier than usual. I feel like my chest is weighting me down to the ground, for real. I feel unbalanced and as if I could fall towards from all the heaviness in my heart. I can't explain it, I'm so sad and empty. I cry but can't say anything.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I am so sorry to hear that OD.

I know thoughts of self-harm can be so complex but I was wondering if you knew what the triggers were? It might also be good to have something easy and readily available as a source of distraction when you feel down and want to self-harm. What I personally is journaling, drawing, or watching something easy like KUWTK.

I really hope things can start to be more tolerable for you, and in the mean time, I, along with many others on SS, am here with you. If you ever need to chat, just to get a different perspective on the situation or maybe just a distraction, my PM is open. Sending you virtual hugs.

 

[Nymph]

I am so sorry to hear that OD.

I know thoughts of self-harm can be so complex but I was wondering if you knew what the triggers were? It might also be good to have something easy and readily available as a source of distraction when you feel down and want to self-harm. What I personally is journaling, drawing, or watching something easy like KUWTK.

I really hope things can start to be more tolerable for you, and in the mean time, I, along with many others on SS, am here with you. If you ever need to chat, just to get a different perspective on the situation or maybe just a distraction, my PM is open. Sending you virtual hugs.

There were a lot of triggers, physical school started again for practical lessons and I was stuck there for 11 hours ( not today cause dentist) and then I heard about ecmnesia which broke my heart. I was also very mean to my mom because of all the anger I was holding in. And they hurts me and especially her. I'm feel so guilty that I'm mean to her but it's so damn hard to control myself and bottle everything so I don't lash out. Also I've been having bad side affect from a new med that I have. They work amazingly but the side affects are real bad

There were a lot of triggers, physical school started again for practical lessons and I was stuck there for 11 hours ( not today cause dentist) and then I heard about ecmnesia which broke my heart. I was also very mean to my mom because of all the anger I was holding in. And they hurts me and especially her. I'm feel so guilty that I'm mean to her but it's so damn hard to control myself and bottle everything so I don't lash out. Also I've been having bad side affect from a new med that I have. They work amazingly but the side affects are real bad

Thank you for offering me to chat with you, I'm not very social but if I decide I wanna chat with someone I'll hit you up:)

 

[darksideofthebright]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the struggles and the triggers that you are having to deal with. That sounds like a lot to be on your mind all at the same time. I know it's easier said than done, but I hope you can be easier on yourself and take one small step at a time. It's understandable that you are feeling this way.

I cannot really offer anything but my presence here. I really do think that you are stronger than you give yourself credits for. You're really giving life your best and your best is good enough! Sending you positive energy and I hope things will start to be less difficult for you!

 

[Nymph]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the struggles and the triggers that you are having to deal with. That sounds like a lot to be on your mind all at the same time. I know it's easier said than done, but I hope you can be easier on yourself and take one small step at a time. It's understandable that you are feeling this way.

I cannot really offer anything but my presence here. I really do think that you are stronger than you give yourself credits for. You're really giving life your best and your best is good enough! Sending you positive energy and I hope things will start to be less difficult for you!

Thank you