Self harm

[BitumenSquid]

Do you guys self harm non-suicidally?
If so, what do you use? Sometimes I feel just silly for doing it, because surely if I really want to ctb I'd just do it and wouldn't go through the faff of sh. But I hate myself and want to hurt myself even more. Is this common?

 

[AnonymousRobin]

i self harm without intent to ctb that way i like the scars and the feeling helps me focus on something other than depressing thoughts

 

[Al_stargate]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

 

[BitumenSquid]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

I don't like my scars and I feel like shit every time I see them, believe me. Nothing to do with the results of self harm are appealing to me but I feel like I need to do it. Like picture someone you hate, someone you hate so much you would cut them up or kill them, even if you dont actually know someone youd do that to picture it. For me, that person is myself.

 

[Unending]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

It's a way to relief overwhelming emotional pressure. When you feel like you're about to explode or lose control of your actions due to anger, despair, dissociation, anxiety, etc, it is a way to completely expel all pressure at once. At least this is how I view it.

Also, scars are like the only tangible manifestation of pain for me so it comforts me to see something that otherwise would be invisible.
It's definitely not a healthy coping mechanism, but it becomes a bit of an addiction/strong habit for some.

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry you guys sh. *Hugs*

 

[pyamu]

I love seeing myself bleed.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I used to cut really badly. I haven't in a long time. I'm actually struggling really badly with urges tonight. Feeling unstable as fuck. Too bad I don't have SN right now. No other form of harming myself would be enough. But my spouse returns from work in a couple hours.

 

[BitumenSquid]

I used to cut really badly. I haven't in a long time. I'm actually struggling really badly with urges tonight. Feeling unstable as fuck. Too bad I don't have SN right now. No other form of harming myself would be enough. But my spouse returns from work in a couple hours.

You can be stabilised, you don't have to topple over, if you'll forgive the extended metaphor there. But for real, although sometimes it just becomes too much not to do something to yourself, it might be helpful to think about how you can come down from that heightened state more healthily if you hold off on doing it for a bit.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

You can be stabilised, you don't have to topple over, if you'll forgive the extended metaphor there. But for real, although sometimes it just becomes too much not to do something to yourself, it might be helpful to think about how you can come down from that heightened state more healthily if you hold off on doing it for a bit.

This is super sweet! I made it through. High and binge eating but I didn't hurt myself per se

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

The line between comfort and self-punishment is quite thin.

I keep crossing it.

 

[webawl]

i mostly sh because i hate myself but i tend to smoke a lot of weed beforehand. i love that euphoric feeling you get immediately after cutting. absolutely hate the scars though.

 

[MidnightCat]

This is super sweet! I made it through. High and binge eating but I didn't hurt myself per se

I'm glad to read that!

I've been clean of sh for 7 years now but I really struggled with it sometimes.

As I was reading I was seeing a lot of myself in your message, so it gave me hopes.

 

[Kurushii]

I sh because I like cutting up my skin and at first I hated the scars, but eventually I got used to them. I love seeing blood too and that feeling I get after cutting makes me feel better, and I stop once I don't have the urge to cut myself anymore. I use a retractable razor. It also anchors me whenever I see them. My scars are something tangible, an abstract feeling I feel inside that I can then feel outside. It reminds me what I'm going through is real, and that this is me.

 

[stormed lucky]

Do you guys self harm non-suicidally?
If so, what do you use? Sometimes I feel just silly for doing it, because surely if I really want to ctb I'd just do it and wouldn't go through the faff of sh. But I hate myself and want to hurt myself even more. Is this common?

There are many ways of self harming, you can do it in all kinds of ways.

 

[Tired and Done]

Do you guys self harm non-suicidally?
If so, what do you use? Sometimes I feel just silly for doing it, because surely if I really want to ctb I'd just do it and wouldn't go through the faff of sh. But I hate myself and want to hurt myself even more. Is this common?

I do the same. I burn myself. Not as much these days though. I've been struggling a lot lately and I've been wanting to cut myself but I keep putting the razor blades away. I'll take one out and look at it for a while and then put it away. I don't think self harm is always about CTB or even about hating yourself though that does play a role. It is also a pain release of sort. All that emotional and mental pain has nowhere to go. Sometimes you just need some kind of release.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I'm glad to read that!

I've been clean of sh for 7 years now but I really struggled with it sometimes.

As I was reading I was seeing a lot of myself in your message, so it gave me hopes.

Glad I could help a tiny bit. I've been clean for years as well, at least 2. We got this. Self harming is so fucking silly and pointless.

 

[spacehardware]

i mostly sh because i hate myself but i tend to smoke a lot of weed beforehand. i love that euphoric feeling you get immediately after cutting. absolutely hate the scars though.

You described it perfectly, it is complete euphoria, I got addicted to that feeling. Trouble is, much like a drug induced high, over time it took more and more damage for me to experience that euphoria. I ended up in a really bad way both physically and mentally, addicted to draining myself of blood, hoping to kill myself slowly by some sort of iron deficiency related heart failure.

I haven't self harmed in 2 years now. But I miss that feeling every day.

 

[Meatball]

Don't know if it is considered self-harm, but I used to compulsively hit myself on the head as hard as I can. On rare occasions, I still do that.
The motivation for it is hard to explain logically.
I think it happens when my inner conflict reaches extreme levels. There's always rage involved.

My parents' drinking used to trigger that...

I'm quite ashamed of it, so I had to do it secretly.

 

[JM2RXA]

I do it because I hate myself, it's my way of coping by saying fuck this body.

 

[Hallow]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

I was going to aswer you questions but all these talk of "you should" and "don't do it" are really rubbing me the wrong way, and because of that you don't deserve an answer or explanation.
Take your patronising shit somewhere else.

 

[Tesha]

I've recently started getting tattoos again - my way of dealing with too many emotions and as a pathway to feel pain; without the questions around scarring and blade marks. Bloody expensive though, as I like large, meaningful, quality art work!

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

Like some users in chat told you yesterday, they self harm because it's a way of coping. Loving yourself is one of the hardest things to do.


That you don't understand is fine, but stop telling people they should not do it.

 

[StarFaded]

It's a way to relief overwhelming emotional pressure. When you feel like you're about to explode or lose control of your actions due to anger, despair, dissociation, anxiety, etc, it is a way to completely expel all pressure at once. At least this is how I view it.

This here speaks to me. It's when I feel like I'm just going to explode from the emotional pressure and pain. Suicide for me has to be done deliberately and carefully planned, not something done on impulse. Self-harm sort of fills that role where I want to feel the temporary relief from the emotional pain without dying from it.

Yet my boyfriend says I just want attention when I cut myself, so there's that.

 

[jigsaw_falling]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

i started to self harm as a way to take back control that i felt i was losing.

i have an eating disorder, and when i was 16 my parents and school found out and i was forced into recovery. i felt so panicked that i couldn't control how much i ate anymore, so i turn to self harm, to control how much pain i'm in, instead.

i also used/use it as a way of punishing myself, because i hate myself a lot lmao. so whenever i feel such strong disgust towards myself, self harm feels like the only way to take that out on myself.

not to mention, self harm is an addiction. people may have different reasons for doing it, but it is a fact that self harm is addictive, because the pain releases endorphins in your brain. so self harm is also reliving and feels good, in a weird way.

self harm is a coping mechanism, and it's NOT a good one by any means, i agree that it's awful and it does make me really fucking sad when people i know self harm, even though i do it too. but, essentially, this is why (some) people do it, and the longer you do it, the harder it is to stop.

people who self harm know it's not appealing and that people may judge them, but it's not really a choice. it's something you start, to cope with whatever is going on in your life (once again, not a good coping mechanism however), and becomes addictive as well

 

[ClairyFairy]

I compartmentalise so much I don't see my scars too much. I'm doin some bad stuff atm but I don't feel real. I'm thinking of bigger thangs

 

[Zephronic]

I do it non suicidality, and use it as a way to experience something different, because it gives me a feeling of euphoria from the sensation, it's like going on a roller coaster. It helps me distract me from my thoughts and it gives me a way to cope

 

[WorthlessCoward]

I used to but the blood is messy to clean and gets all over the clothes and sheets and I am fashionable as fuck, boy

The questions bother me none though, also the blade was serrated not straight so it hurt a lot more

 

[lpfx]

Do you guys self harm non-suicidally?
If so, what do you use? Sometimes I feel just silly for doing it, because surely if I really want to ctb I'd just do it and wouldn't go through the faff of sh. But I hate myself and want to hurt myself even more. Is this common?

I used to SH a lot. My preferred method was actually those duller razor blades from pencil sharpeners or shaving razors, as they would produce more bleeding. I would do it at home, at work, at school, anywhere I could. It became an addiction for me that took a lot of effort to kick, although I have occasionally relapsed back into that behavior.

It was partially because of the endorphins and the weird pleasure I would get from the pain of doing it. But much of it was similar to the comment that pyamu posted.

I love seeing myself bleed.

Although in recent years I've resorted to tattoos to replace that, and it helps with not relapsing as I don't want to scar up hundreds of dollars worth of body art. Probably not the best reason, but it helps me at least.

 

[Spoon_Selfharms]

I don't understand self-harm. Why? What is so appealing about scars and being seen like a weirdo. It makes me depressed that you beautiful people are self-harming. You shouldn't do that. You should love yourself. Every person is precious and special. Stop it, just stop it!

Reading comments like that make me want to cut even more out of spite , also bold of you to assume I'm not enjoying looking like a freak