Help Self harm questions

[Wyldfyre4948]

I'm feeling like I need to hurt myself now. This is a scary thought because I'm thinking of cutting. For years punching my leg has been enough and I figured it was smart. My legs are meaty and it wouldn't cause much if any damage to the leg or my hand. The odd bruise that can be explained away of bumping into something with ease.

Right now the thought of sawing at myself with maybe a butter knife seems very appealing. Start slow with something that will leave marks and the teeth should cause some pain from the repetition. Again stick to the thigh because it's almost always covered. Test the waters and possibly work my way up to a sharp blade to achieve the desired release.

I feel crazy and sick for even entertaining this idea. Like I'm seriously cracked and really beyond saving. I'm only getting worse despite actually trying to improve. This really sucks, but can anyone offer any advice? What if I buy a box of plastic knives? I'm so sorry for asking people on the internet for help hurting myself.

 

[Bunni'sLullaby]

I'm feeling like I need to hurt myself now. This is a scary thought because I'm thinking of cutting. For years punching my leg has been enough and I figured it was smart. My legs are meaty and it wouldn't cause much if any damage to the leg or my hand. The odd bruise that can be explained away of bumping into something with ease.

Right now the thought of sawing at myself with maybe a butter knife seems very appealing. Start slow with something that will leave marks and the teeth should cause some pain from the repetition. Again stick to the thigh because it's almost always covered. Test the waters and possibly work my way up to a sharp blade to achieve the desired release.

I feel crazy and sick for even entertaining this idea. Like I'm seriously cracked and really beyond saving. I'm only getting worse despite actually trying to improve. This really sucks, but can anyone offer any advice? What if I buy a box of plastic knives? I'm so sorry for asking people on the internet for help hurting myself.

As someone who has engaged in self-harm via cutting for a very long time: I recommend a few thoughts.

1): a butter knife is ineffective. I self-learned from a young age how to break apart a disposable razor; I have never told anyone this, but I keep a box of bandaids along with my item of choice. Over the years, I've become more "prepared." To avoid detection, I choose my thighs; but this is personal.

2): It is hard not to feel guilty for the feelings you have. I know I do all the time; often, I cry after elapsing because I have the self-aware feeling of how I shouldn't have done so, but I did anyways. What has helped me (sometimes) is engaging both sides of your brain (neurologically) at the same time. A common technique in EMDR therapy is bouncing your left and right legs, one after the other; followed by simultaneously smacking your hands on your knees. Box breathe at the time you do this; Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, repeat. That or, focus on 4 things you can see or feel and 4 colors in front of you. It doesn't always work, but it's worth a shot. I know alcohol is a no-no. When I drink, it drives me to have less inhibition and more ability to engage in self-harm/relapse (aka, no-good).

 

[Kit1]

I'm feeling like I need to hurt myself now. This is a scary thought because I'm thinking of cutting. For years punching my leg has been enough and I figured it was smart. My legs are meaty and it wouldn't cause much if any damage to the leg or my hand. The odd bruise that can be explained away of bumping into something with ease.

Right now the thought of sawing at myself with maybe a butter knife seems very appealing. Start slow with something that will leave marks and the teeth should cause some pain from the repetition. Again stick to the thigh because it's almost always covered. Test the waters and possibly work my way up to a sharp blade to achieve the desired release.

I feel crazy and sick for even entertaining this idea. Like I'm seriously cracked and really beyond saving. I'm only getting worse despite actually trying to improve. This really sucks, but can anyone offer any advice? What if I buy a box of plastic knives? I'm so sorry for asking people on the internet for help hurting myself.

I am really sorry that you are going through such intense feelings to hurt yourself. It is difficult to try and overcome these feelings.

Years ago, I promised someone that I wouldn't self harm and occasionally over the years, I have slipped up and once jn a while. But what I have found helpful when I get the urge to hurt myself is I would write about how I feel, play music and dance till I literally drop or sometimes stop eating altogether for a few days and this helps me not to self harm (though some might see the last practise as self harming).., O do also attend therapy weekly which does seem to help as well. It is harder to stop once someone starts.

I wish you all the best and hope that you find a way to deal with those feelings without necessarily hurting yourself. Take care.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im sorry you are feeling this way, i had the same.

I always did sh which didnt leave marks: punching, pinching, elastic bands, not eating.
Since last month I began cutting and now its one of the few things thats only on my mind.

Its a downwards spiral once you begin, be sure you want to continue going on this path.