Seeing everyone doing better than me

[Dude1983]

U can be happy that u are not in excruciating pain all the time like much people incluing me

 

[feast or famine]

I've often had those same thoughts. But I'll echo what many others have said - you don't know what's going on with them behind closed doors. Social media only showcases the "best" of everyone's lives. Most people aren't going to post their struggles. But everyone does struggle, just in different ways.

 

[FireFox]

It's the fucking worst. Especially the bullies.
Literally every douchebag that made me want to quit high school is now successful in some way.

This one bastard was involved in a convenience store robbery where clerk who was a Vietnam veteran was killed. Now he's out, is a master plumber and owns a fucking house with a family.

I don't fuck with social media and I refuse to look anyone up because I know its going to make me feel like shit. When people say "did you hear about X?" I immediately cut them off and say I don't care. I know this makes me an anti social bastard , I just can't take hearing about everyone winning, especially the fucks that don't deserve it.

@Throwawaysoul

Bullies rule the world look at donald trump.

The world is fucked up.

There was this white girl i went to school with she tried to get a black teacher fired. She complained to the school about how she was an awful teacher. This was not true the teacher was one of the most supportive and interesting teachers ever.
She is now has a training contract with a law firm and in 2 years time she will be a lawyer at 25.

U can be happy that u are not in excruciating pain all the time like much people incluing me

@Dude1983
Sorry about your health

You don't know the circumstances of those people. Everything on social media or what they disclose is glitz and awesomeness. Don't fall into that trap. Once you grow closer to certain "friends," they will confide in you and you will see that they are most likely unhappy with their own problems. Just you try to do you. Don't engage in social
Comparison unless it is about a job or topic that you are genuinely interested in on your own.

@GoneGoneGone

When i was younger i was always looking forward to leaving school and being an adult.

I was always exicted about moving out and having a meaningful life and better life than i had at secondary school .

At school i never had close friends. All those expereinces every teenager had of going to the cinema with friends and shopping etc i never had.

In my class people spent thier weekends going to parties, friends houses etc. I would hear what they did last weekend .I spent my weekends at home due never having friends and family not wanting me to go out .

The friends i did have left me out of things or would talk about me behind my back .

I was builled in years 7-11. I was made fun of not having friends, my hairstyle, not having a black berry phone.

I expereniced racial bullying too sometimes my mum had to come to the school and talk to the head of year. Sooo embrassing.

People would call me poor for not having the black berry or the iphone. Seeing people at lunchtime with thier phones i would feel so left out.

I was always thought at my age i would be living in a different city.

Everyday i wake up in the same neighbourhood in the same town i grew up in.

Living a home depresses me and the thought of living at home in the same town for a another 20 years depresses me so much.

I love my family and have good relationship with neighbours but i like change.
So many things i wanted to do with my life
-get a drivers licence
-go to iceland and amsterdam
-see snowdonia mountain
- see stonegehege
-live in a different city
- i dont want to live a convnetial life of work 9-5 . I want a life with meaning and making the world a better place.
I am so disappointed in myself.

At 23 and this is my life.

I lost all hope ever seeing things improve.

If someone told me a 23 i would still single, a virgin, living on welfare and clueless about the future . I would have ended my life at 19 .

There was a core course for my major that I needed in college, communications theory, but the way it was scheduled in the night program the prerequisite always came after. I finally had no choice but to take the course without the prerequisite or wait another year, because there was nothing else offered at night that would keep me at the minimum full-time load, I'd already taken all of my electives. I was never going to graduate if I didn't take the risk.

The first night of class, the professor followed me outside during the break and pulled me aside. He said, "I saw your transcript and I see you're used to making A's, but I have to tell you, without the prerequisite, you'll be lucky to make a C." He said it in a really condescending, fake-caring, authoritarian way. It was an attack.

I'm 5'3". He was over 6'. I was in my mid-twenties, with some life experience yet also somewhat naive and too open, and looked younger than my years. He was in his late fifties to early sixties, tenured, experienced, and in a position of power in the department. It was very much a David and Goliath moment.

I started to shake a bit, and even more so after I declined to drop and he walked away, the covert assault over and my adrenaline flooding, but what rose up inside almost immediately after that first weakening blow, while he was in front of me, when classmates were watching and listening, was, Aw hell no.

Among the other students, there was a silent, collective, "Oh fuck." Many came up to me after, both that night and in the following weeks, shocked at how he'd acted, shocked at me holding my ground. Some said fuck him, some said they would have never been able to handle it and would've dropped.

He'd thrown down a gauntlet and for a while we were like adversaries watching each other from opposite sides of the ring, sizing each other up, preparing for battle. And the whole class was watching.

I ended up being the top student in the class. Communication theory was not that hard. (And the next quarter I learned the prerequisite had nothing to do with theory at all. I don't ever remember what it was, it was that irrelevant.)

Halfway through the quarter, after being highly engaged in class and then blowing away the midterm, he admitted he was wrong and started showing me respect, something shifted, and we ended up being buddies for the rest of the term. The spectators were shocked at the shift. Afterward, he was one of the professors I went to whenever I needed references, and they were always glowing.

Had I crumbled and dropped, it would have really fucked things up for me. It would have taken even longer to graduate, and it already took eight years as I worked full-time throughout college, and at one point took an opportunity to work at night so that I could finally take some day courses and finish, because the school really didn't care about night students.

@FireFox, I think at some point you need to connect with your self-respect, your self-worth, and your Aw hell no. Or you can remain crumbled and feel like everything is hopeless and out of reach and you'll never finish. You still may finish, but the way you feel about yourself, people in positions of authority and even men you'd want to date and start a family with are going to see that you're beaten down, that you won't say Aw hell no, and beat you down further for their own amusement or fulfillment. You posted yesterday that life is hard and you don't have the strength. Yes, @FireFox, life is fucking goddamned hard. You may get twenty years down the road and feel empowered in spite of how hard life is, or you may feel like you would have been better to have ended your life in your early twenties. Either one is okay. Life is fucking brutal, sometimes with reprieves, sometimes with high moments. It's your choice what to do with that knowledge, and there is no wrong choice. You may fight and not win; as Samuel Johnson said, winning is best, but when you can't win, then second-best is knowing you were worthy to win. Either way, that's self-respect, it's something one has to work to achieve and/or work to maintain, and without it, life is even harder. It's lying on the bed, not for rest or recovery, but as an invalid at the level of the spirit.

You posted yesterday that your reason for ctb'ing is not knowing your purpose. All living beings have to toil to survive, that is the purpose. It sucks. Any higher purpose is new age and self-help social engineering opiate bullshit. Along the way you may discover a fulfilling purpose in what you do, or you may get fed up and make your own purpose. You may repeatedly fail and not find success until you're in you're sixties like Colonel Sanders. You may find it earlier, you may never find it. You may find that success is not what the world says it is, which is always fragile, fleeting, and causes desperate clinging (and already you are desperate for it), but instead that it is something that arises from within, almost always from challenge and adversity. If you keep giving yourself permission to wallow full-time, guess what? That is your purpose, and I've seen plenty of people who do it for the rest of their lives. Like my grandmother, the queen of the whiners and guilt-trippers, they are a drain to everyone around them yet get no power from what they drain, they are the most piteous waifs, their spirits languish, they are internal invalids, they never connect with the power of their unique life forces, and goddamn if they don't outlast everyone, in spite of being helpless and incapable, and in spite of wanting to die.

@GoodPersonEffed well done for standing up to the arrogant professor and proving him wrong.

You are truly are a fighter thats why i love you :)

 

[AprilsBlessings]

I totally feel you! and sometimes i hate when people say "you don't know the negative side of their lives, they have their own problems" sometimes it just doesn't convince me....however, when i think about it..in high school we were a group of 6, and i was the only one who got to university, and it's the second best university in saudi arabia, it was my dream to get to this university and this major and i achieved my dream, but here i am..so messed up wanting to die..

 

[SoIntoYou]

The people i went to school with are doing so much better than me in life.

Seeing thier twitter profiles, bumping in to them in public and knowing what thier lives are they are doing so well.

They have careers, partners and active meanigful lives

Seeing my life i realise i have wasted my life and have nothing to show for it.

Ok. First, careers are not necessary better than lesser work since pretty much all work is time consuming and is not interesting to the employee. Money for basic necessities is a big deal, which does make certain careers better than lesser work. Second, being in a relationship isn't much better than single life, given that masturbation is a thing and it's easy to feel connected to other people in the global digital world. Third, I'm not quite sure what you mean by an "active" life, but from my understanding, it's perfectly OK to have a lazy lifestyle, as long as you're not depressed, which might be solved if you think about my first two points (I'm sure you have other reasons, but you only mentioned three). Also, meaning in life is an illusion, which is why it is a fluctuating experience for everybody. The Universe has no purpose other than to exist. Right and wrong, good and evil, positive and negative, and all other dualities only exist from singular perspectives. What's right to one being can be wrong to another. Think about the relationship between organisms and their food. Try not to get wrapped up in what other people have that you don't. Your greatest asset in life is your imagination, which everyone has and should remain open and uncapped at all times. As long as you have the means to not be uncomfortable or in distracting pain from things like hunger or homelessness, you really are doing better than you think. Hope that helps.

 

[okaoki]

Everyone is doing better than me , my mom argues with my dad , she can still laugh when watching tv ,my brother and everyone
they have something to keep them drunk to keep move on.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

She is now has a training contract with a law firm and in 2 years time she will be a lawyer at 25.

Ok I've heard about this girl three times now. So she is trainee. Does she even get paid as a trainee? Or she gets paid the bare minimum? And how do you know she will become a lawyer, doesn't she have to, you know, pass the bar for that? Do you think everyone passes the bar just like that? I also had a friend of a friend who was bragging about becoming a magistrate, she took the exam twice and failed miserably and now she's a housewife and at 30 years of age she does absolutely nothing.

Okay and if this girl becomes a lawyer, will she not have a 9-5 lifestyle, which you say you despise?

I graduated at the height of the other recession and after 150 applications I was offered a zero-compensation internship in London. After 6 months I got an internship in another country which paid 400 eur, while 350 eur was the rent. My parents had to send me money to survive. I did not have the benefit of receiving welfare just like that.

So you want a boyfriend. Go on Tinder or whatever you use these days and find one. But just do SOMETHING.

About x had clothes and iPhones... we all know richer people who would whip out the latest iPhone or get I dunno what car as graduation present, you're not alone in that experience. But try out SOMETHING, ANYTHING.

Don't just sit on the side and say why does everyone have it better than me? Some of us had it worse, which is why we are here.

 

[FireFox]

Ok I've heard about this girl three times now. So she is trainee. Does she even get paid as a trainee? Or she gets paid the bare minimum? And how do you know she will become a lawyer, doesn't she have to, you know, pass the bar for that? Do you think everyone passes the bar just like that? I also had a friend of a friend who was bragging about becoming a magistrate, she took the exam twice and failed miserably and now she's a housewife and at 30 years of age she does absolutely nothing.

Okay and if this girl becomes a lawyer, will she not have a 9-5 lifestyle, which you say you despise?

I graduated at the height of the other recession and after 150 applications I was offered a zero-compensation internship in London. After 6 months I got an internship in another country which paid 400 eur, while 350 eur was the rent. My parents had to send me money to survive. I did not have the benefit of receiving welfare just like that.

So you want a boyfriend. Go on Tinder or whatever you use these days and find one. But just do SOMETHING.

About x had clothes and iPhones... we all know richer people who would whip out the latest iPhone or get I dunno what car as graduation present, you're not alone in that experience. But try out SOMETHING, ANYTHING.

Don't just sit on the side and say why does everyone have it better than me? Some of us had it worse, which is why we are here.

I am sorry

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I am sorry

Oh lordy. It wasn't meant to berate you. These are valid questions.
Like do you actually think she gets paid much as a trainee? Do you think she has high chances of passing the bar?
Would it be possible for you to go on a dating app/website and start dating?
I heard for years about a woman bragging that she'd be a flight attendant. Now she does the make-up of people in her neighborhood and is dating some mobster. Not everything is what it looks. Maybe try to give it a try before you just give up. You give up and it hasn't even started.

 

[Cashewmilk]

I am 35, single, living alone, love reading comic books and watching anime and I don't care about sheeple and their shallow lives.

Same here! Thank you

Ya this weighs on me often too. My 20s were completely consumed by mental illness while they are thrived in school and work and now the effects have taken place.

It's incredible what mental illness has done to my life, I could've been like them.

Same here, totally obliterated my life. But I'm a little glad to not be an ignorant normie. At least this way I can handle a disaster, I'm definitely mentally stronger because of it.

U can be happy that u are not in excruciating pain all the time like much people incluing me

Exactly... honestly it could be worse. You could be a lot worse, I'm a heroin addict going on 11 years, a former sex worker. I used to be just like you and all your friends, no one would have ever thought I would end up like this. Be thankful for what you have now, accept it and move on.

 

[Sunshine]

How are their lives meaningful? They're just lying to themselves. At the end of the day they're wasting away too, having to pretend on the outside and social media to be awesome, but they're getting older, sicker and ultimately their whole existence is and will be pointless just like yours.

 

[Incorrigible77777]

That's not necessarily true.
I graduated with decent grades and am currently working at some FAAMG company.
But I'm never happy.
I've been scolded by my family since very young.
I lost a complete family at 12, and I lost the closest family member to me at 24.
I dated for lots of times and broke up for lots of times, and then I realized I'm actually gay.
I'm not going to get married.
I'm not going to set up my family, either.
Future to me in 20 years would be just the same, and maybe even worse.
Nothing else to expect.
I have sexual addiction and masturbate 5 times a day and I'm still not happy.
I just wanna end up my life right now.
It's not a pity at all, compared to the deaths of celebrities, athletes, scientists etc.
When I leave this world, the world still continues to rotate.

 

[Belit667]

Have you tried any therapy? I does work for some people (not for me).

 

[itsallinyourhead]

No one would guess the depth of my mental health problems. I put a very good face on in public and people would think that I'm quite confident and content. Yet here I am on a suicide advise forum.

I feel I am the same. I am able to put on a facade quite nicely because I don't want to be a burden to others, but when I feel my energy getting close to empty I have to very quickly run home or be in a space by myself because I will go emotionless and numb. It is very obvious at that moment something is wrong with me. I've never let anyone see the numbness or the pain. I think I just believe that if I am able to convince others that I am "functioning well" then at least I will not have to deal with their pity or perhaps something even worse like toxic positivity and them convincing me that "it's all in my head" and I have no right to be feeling the way I do.