Screwing up

[Nem]

Like a lot of people here, regrets kick the living crap out of me. One particular nagging regret has been the loss of a fairly recent relationship.
I was visiting them one day and they were doing some gardening so I just sat in the deck checking my phone, all of a sudden I had regret about how my life changed and how I could've prevented it.

I was going over a certain scenario that was crucial to my life changing event and I was quietly talking under my breath, going over the scenario and I didn't realize that they had heard me...never heard from them again and they were even afraid of me. This was like adding fuel to the fire of an already tough situation and I still feel stupid about it. I could'vejust gone over the scenario later when I was home or wrote it out instead of talking it out.

This really sucked and sent me further down the hole that I've fallen into. Anyone else go over a certain event and analyze it and think of just how it could've been prevented?

peace/hugs

 

[k75]

I do this constantly. There are very specific events I know changed everything for me that I ruminate on. It can be like an obsession. There's absolutely nothing I can ever do to change it, but that doesn't prevent the thoughts and regrets. It's not even a conscious thing. If I'm not actively on guard against it, that's where my mind will go pretty much every time. It's kind of hell.

Distractions can help, but you can only distract yourself for so long. I wish I knew how to make it stop. Actually, I do know how. There's a CBT technique for that kind of thing, but it's a ton of work and I can't focus enough to train myself to do it. So I guess I mean I wish I weren't too lazy to make it stop...

 

[ghostspace]

this drives me crazy. for me, it's the worst at night when I'm waiting to fall asleep and a movie of the Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done starts up. then I think about how different things could be if I just hadn't _______ you know?

if I just hadn't got into that car
if I just hadn't lied
if I'd just tried to escape when I had the chance
if I'd just been braver

 

[NotCordelia]

Hi there Nem!
Oh boy, this happens to me all the time. My mind just goes there without my consent. Mine may be due to anxiety. Like a PTSD rumination loop, my mind want to replay events to fix it and feel somehow safer, or make sure it never happens again. I am very panicked when I try to block the rumination. Like my mind is doing it to prevent existential terror. Like OCD without the action.
It's horrible. I feel for you. Always second guessing. Never able to have a clear mind in the present.
sometimes doing a breathing exercise helps if you catch it, but whoever I'm with looks at me funny and gets annoyed by the breathing. I have to go by myself to do it. You would think they would understand that it's necessary I do it and not be weirded out or think they did something to trigger it.
I get triggered by random things or nothing at all. People who do not have severe anxiety or PTSD cannot understand.
hope you feel less alone. I understand.
Hugs to you! ️Cup of tea, too if you like tea

this drives me crazy. for me, it's the worst at night when I'm waiting to fall asleep and a movie of the Stupidest Thing I've Ever Done starts up. then I think about how different things could be if I just hadn't _______ you know?

if I just hadn't got into that car
if I just hadn't lied
if I'd just tried to escape when I had the chance
if I'd just been braver

Yes. This

 

[Dear Flabby]

Hi there Nem!
Oh boy, this happens to me all the time. My mind just goes there without my consent. Mine may be due to anxiety. Like a PTSD rumination loop, my mind want to replay events to fix it and feel somehow safer, or make sure it never happens again. I am very panicked when I try to block the rumination. Like my mind is doing it to prevent existential terror. Like OCD without the action.
It's horrible. I feel for you. Always second guessing. Never able to have a clear mind in the present.
sometimes doing a breathing exercise helps if you catch it, but whoever I'm with looks at me funny and gets annoyed by the breathing. I have to go by myself to do it. You would think they would understand that it's necessary I do it and not be weirded out or think they did something to trigger it.
I get triggered by random things or nothing at all. People who do not have severe anxiety or PTSD cannot understand.
hope you feel less alone. I understand.
Hugs to you!❤ Cup of tea, too if you like tea

Yes. This

Yes. And I say things aloud. And people get scared of me and dump me. And that adds to the pile. And so on. Hugs/Peace.

 

[lostangel]

Like a lot of people here, regrets kick the living crap out of me. One particular nagging regret has been the loss of a fairly recent relationship.
I was visiting them one day and they were doing some gardening so I just sat in the deck checking my phone, all of a sudden I had regret about how my life changed and how I could've prevented it.

I was going over a certain scenario that was crucial to my life changing event and I was quietly talking under my breath, going over the scenario and I didn't realize that they had heard me...never heard from them again and they were even afraid of me. This was like adding fuel to the fire of an already tough situation and I still feel stupid about it. I could'vejust gone over the scenario later when I was home or wrote it out instead of talking it out.

This really sucked and sent me further down the hole that I've fallen into. Anyone else go over a certain event and analyze it and think of just how it could've been prevented?

peace/hugs❤

Yes, unfortunately, there is one event in my head that I haven't stopped thinking about. I won't go into detail but I feel that if I wasn't such a coward I could've been in a happier mental state then I am now. I replay those memories over and over again. It's something that impacts me but for others around me not so much.

I hope there won't be many more of those mistakes in the future but I'll have to see.

Sorry to hear about you being regretful. Hope everything goes well for you!