Venting screaming

[nooneyouknow]

idk yelling into the void again. i can't take my emotions anymore I would give my world for them to stop. it's ever consuming and i feel like it's just leading me down a rabbit hole in never gonna get out of. I'm tired of my home life and I'm tired of being friends with my ex but I have no one else to be friends with and being alone will hurt just as much, if not more than being friends with her. Im very much alone and I'm just trying to stick it out until I can leave and maybe once I'm finally 24 I'll have such little contact with everyone I've ever known and I can ctb without anyone feelings bad or responsible and maybe it'll be welcoming and my head will finally be quiet.im tired and my heart is heavy always, I don't want to live this life anymore but I have no choice but to carry on but I'm not sure how much carrying on I have left in me. I'm not considered by the people around me as is so hopefully 24 truly will be an age to look forward to. I was never meant to make it this far, everythings been hurting for years. I am hurting and I have no one to tell about any of it. i don't want to be alone again but I'm starting to think it may be for the best. it all hurts regardless of what I do at this point.