DISCLAIMER: I have never been diagnosed with any mental illness/disorder (and have never even been to a mental health professional at all) but I SWEAR I'm not like those people who self-diagnose and make these findings their entire personality, as this is mainly speculation.
I've spoken to MANY people, from this website and other places, about suicidality, and have gleaned many interesting insights from those discussions, but I've always thought that even amongst these people, I was always different from them in some way. I don't think I could really articulate the real reason until now, although I've definitely mulled over certain ideas for a substantial period of time. I've noticed that many, many, MANY people cite social isolation and lack of emotional connection as the root of their suicidality, but that has NEVER been the case for me. The main impetus for my desire to die has always been anhedonia, or the lack of desire to do anything in life (I think over time this has changed, as I have found some semblance of purpose, at least for now, which is why I stopped browsing this site as much). I have once pondered whether I had the schizoid personality type long before I joined this site, and I went over the diagnostic criteria before, thought it was extremely relatable but promptly forgot about it until now. I don't know how much detail I want to go into for the first post I'm making, but for some reason I decided to reexamine it today, and I still heavily align with the diagnostic criteria for schizoid personality disorder (again, I would not say I have this to anyone because I have never been officially diagnosed but relating to all components of the diagnostic criteria is unnerving). I realized this must be the difference between me and most people on this website which brings me to ask—is ANYONE here diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder? I'm mainly curious because while I greatly relate to the desire to die expressed by the users on here, I still think there is a substantial difference between me and those who do not share the same issues as me, such as loneliness and low self-esteem, which are more common in other disorders.
I've spoken to MANY people, from this website and other places, about suicidality, and have gleaned many interesting insights from those discussions, but I've always thought that even amongst these people, I was always different from them in some way. I don't think I could really articulate the real reason until now, although I've definitely mulled over certain ideas for a substantial period of time. I've noticed that many, many, MANY people cite social isolation and lack of emotional connection as the root of their suicidality, but that has NEVER been the case for me. The main impetus for my desire to die has always been anhedonia, or the lack of desire to do anything in life (I think over time this has changed, as I have found some semblance of purpose, at least for now, which is why I stopped browsing this site as much). I have once pondered whether I had the schizoid personality type long before I joined this site, and I went over the diagnostic criteria before, thought it was extremely relatable but promptly forgot about it until now. I don't know how much detail I want to go into for the first post I'm making, but for some reason I decided to reexamine it today, and I still heavily align with the diagnostic criteria for schizoid personality disorder (again, I would not say I have this to anyone because I have never been officially diagnosed but relating to all components of the diagnostic criteria is unnerving). I realized this must be the difference between me and most people on this website which brings me to ask—is ANYONE here diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder? I'm mainly curious because while I greatly relate to the desire to die expressed by the users on here, I still think there is a substantial difference between me and those who do not share the same issues as me, such as loneliness and low self-esteem, which are more common in other disorders.
