Scared of sn

[Peace2peace]

The more I ready about sn symptoms the more I get scared but I really wanna go , guess am not brave enough

 

[Odwin]

I tell you a secret. Every way to CTB is scary. To do that, your life must be more scary than that.
So the good news is your life is better than you think.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I tell you a secret. Every way to CTB is scary. To do that, your life must be more scary than that.
So the good news is your life is better than you think.

im terrified of my actual body and my own life and heart that death is more peacefully... I agree to be scared but it lasts 40 minutes and there are stages to it

 

[Odwin]

im terrified of my actual body and my own life and heart that death is more peacefully... I agree to be scared but it lasts 40 minutes and there are stages to it

It will be the worst 40 minutes of your life. Everything what came before you perceive as child play.

 

[soapgoat]

Suicide is final and extraordinarily painful. Really consider if your life is so bad that you'll go through physical hell and even actual hell just to not wake up tomorrow

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

It will be the worst 40 minutes of your life. Everything what came before you perceive as child play.

I sadly agree too much with you as I been there everyday since I can remember after learning of my heart condition, and if I experienced that, I would cry bloody merry or I will realize it was worth it as my pain is finally gone knowing I am gone. Also, they say benzos help you feel calm during the pain

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Agree with @Odwin, it's almost like choosing between two evils. Life has to be more hell than anything else, including real hell (if we believe in that) and to ctb.

 

[Peace2peace]

Its really terrifying to think anyways to make it easier
Bump

 

[kapa]

I was so hipped to get SN I couldn't wait, now that I have it I'm seeing all articles how painful it is .... And i got scared.

 

[Peace2peace]

Sane here

 

[pleaseiwanttogo]

The more I ready about sn symptoms the more I get scared but I really wanna go , guess am not brave enough

(I'm truly asking, not judging, just curious, feel free not to answer if you don't want to)
What exactly are you scared of? Asking to check if there's more I don't know or ignored, and because I'm curious for your thoughts. In the way I see, if you wanna die, that's it, best strategy, and if you have everything, many people would want to be in your place.
I really liked the post, it's a new point of view to me, to think those are gonna be the worst 40 minutes of my life, that I'll go through hell and maybe even to hell because of my choice, I had never thought of that (I never think things through, I have a problem with that, it's scary or funny depending on the situation). Also, loved the comparison "your life would have to be worse than hell for you to choose to go to/through hell", really interesting.

 

[howunfortunateforme]

It will be the worst 40 minutes of your life. Everything what came before you perceive as child play.

How do you know this?

 

[Valhala]

Suicide is final and extraordinarily painful. Really consider if your life is so bad that you'll go through physical hell and even actual hell just to not wake up tomorrow

You are somewhat right, however. It is known that in the case of death row inmates, the worst thing is the uncertainty and anticipation of when the sentence will be carried out, it is even worse than the awareness of the sentence itself. We are all here on death row, death will come sooner or later to each of us who knows in what form, perhaps more painful and horrifying than any CTB method, none of us can know. Perhaps we should keep in mind these arguments in order to reduce SI.

I was so hipped to get SN I couldn't wait, now that I have it I'm seeing all articles how painful it is .... And i got scared.

The problem is that N is hard to come by.

 

[divinemistress36]

Thats why my SN is chilling in my closet since Summer

 

[Valhala]

Thats why my SN is chilling in my closet since Summer

I didn't even assume that you have SN? Do you also have everything else required according to the protocol?

 

[divinemistress36]

I didn't even assume that you have SN? Do you also have everything else required according to the protocol?

Yes, I do. I'm trying to spiritually prepare myself more

 

[Valhala]

Yes, I do. I'm trying to spiritually prepare myself more

Great, but I think the two of us are incorrigible N enthusiasts. I am very seriously considering all realistic possibilities of acquiring N, it is difficult, but I think it is not impossible.

 

[divinemistress36]

Great, but I think the two of us are incorrigible N enthusiasts. I am very seriously considering all realistic possibilities of acquiring N, it is difficult, but I think it is not impossible.

Keep us informed if you do acquire it! N is the key to getting into Valhalla

 

[parasite_eve]

Been looking more into sn while trying to figure out n2 setup; could be first choice if had full regimen of meds incl benzos, but tough to get.

Also pondered if itd help if one used n2 to pass out and keep huffing until sn knocks unconscious (but not actually putting on eb because of risk of vomiting)...

 

[bananaolympus]

Yeah i also have all things in the sn protocol but my fear is not pain i have endured a lot of physical pain for the past 3+ years but dying alone if i had no one in my life then it wouldn't matter but i have my folks

 

[Valhala]

Keep us informed if you do acquire it! N is the key to getting into Valhalla

If I succeed in anything in terms of purchasing N, I will write in the message, I promise.

 

[depressedinsomniac]

my original plan was wait till i am about to be on the street (facing homelessness and just don't want to go through with it). But when i got it on friday i ended up saying fuck it let me just go now...i got close...then eventually decided let me give it all i got and see if i can come up with something...that si is killer...so hard to get over it...i also don't have all the meds i want another issue...but i am so happy this site taught me a way....ctb should be much easier...it's a shame people with poor mental health are forced to suffer so much!

 

[itsnigh]

Out of curiosity to all here, what makes you perceive the process of sn as 40 minutes of painful hell?
(Genuine question, couldn't find a better way to word it, hope that's ok)


It's completely understandable to be afraid, though. I think most are. The biggest decision you will ever make is if you choose to end your life. Sending a lot of love your way.

 

[howunfortunateforme]

Great, but I think the two of us are incorrigible N enthusiasts. I am very seriously considering all realistic possibilities of acquiring N, it is difficult, but I think it is not impossible.

This..we all need it but seems impossible to get

Out of curiosity to all here, what makes you perceive the process of sn as 40 minutes of painful hell?
(Genuine question, couldn't find a better way to word it, hope that's ok)


It's completely understandable to be afraid, though. I think most are. The biggest decision you will ever make is if you choose to end your life. Sending a lot of love your way.

This is what I need to know are you suffering for
40 minutes straight? Is this why people hang themselves

 

[Depressive_Thoughts]

From what I've heard and learned from my researches on SN, it seems more like 20 minutes before you fall unconscious - in some cases it takes no less than 15 minutes, and it doesn't seem you are going to be agonizing. The PPH states the pain as 'manageable'.

 

[Valhala]

This..we all need it but seems impossible to get

This is what I need to know are you suffering for
40 minutes straight? Is this why people hang themselves

Actually, it is extremely individual, SN alone should lead to loss of consciousness in 10 to 20 min. but there were cases that it lasted for the whole 40 min. For this reason, the protocol recommends a benzo, which reduces anxiety and accelerates the loss of consciousness.

 

[maniac116]

I'm thinking that its just not your time.
The pain of living needs to be perceived as more acute that the possible pain of dying. Just my humble, non professional opinion.
That's why I'm still alive.

 

[axab43]

How do you know this?

Can you answer how you know this as it is an extremely scary thing to say when the evidence on here does not seem to back it up. What are you basing this on. Please give evidence otherwise I think your comments, and other comments like this should be deleted.

 

[Richard Langford]

Great, but I think the two of us are incorrigible N enthusiasts. I am very seriously considering all realistic possibilities of acquiring N, it is difficult, but I think it is not impossible.

It realistically seems to be extremely difficult. Unless that is you're willing to travel to a 3rd World Country and trail around numerous potential venues therein. Its not like people are saying "go here to this place". There's a huge potential for a wild goose chase or being scammed. Then when/if you have it do you want to use it in a hotel where ever? I wouldn't.

Otherwise, finding a domestic source seems massively unlikely as the consequences if caught for them would be huge.

I dont want to soubd negative but its really a big ask acquiring it.