Say you’ve killed yourself... (Scenario)

[Shadowrider]

Let's just say I would do many things differently and would probably study computer science and probably get a better chances of getting a job.
Since I learned from my mistakes, I would also directly ditch Windows and MacOS and use GNU/Linux instead, which would prevent that one time, where my brother downloaded a ransomware which encrypted all of my Windows computers with 14tb of important data.

I would also refuse to buy a new car and buy one of those russian car's like Lada or UAZ, which are very easy to repair. I make the mistake of buying "high tech" cars which broke and I spend like +-60.000€ in total for repairs because I wasn't able to repair them, specially my 2013 Tesla EV.
If I would drive a Lada Niva or perhaps UAZ Hunter, then i would be able to grab one of those service manual books for 40usd and just repair those cars by myself since they are very analog and aren't that computerized.

I would also stay at my parents house and save money to buy my own house instead of renting that shitty 2 room apartment where I've been living for 5 yeas (till 2019).

and there are many other things that I would do differently...

Good to see a fellow *nix fan here!
Also, I like your idea about ol' Russian cars and having the willingness to repair it on your own.

On topic: I would prefer not to be born at all. That woman whom I will not address as "my mother" babytrapped the guy who did not really like her or the marriage. He found his true love some years later, cheated on his wife for 6 years or so and when she learnt about it, she said "you have two days to pack your things and disappear from here". So I was left alone with her, and there was nobody to stop her from abusing me. I was an unwanted child. Her need for having someone to hurt and humiliate was the only meaning of my existence. I don't know if I will ever be at least a relatively functioning human being. If I could do it again, I would not. I would rather remind the guy to use condoms so that she could not babytrap him: they may have good sex until they get bored with each other and so they can part ways with each other, without producing a suicidal nervous wreck who is disgusted by the thought of sex. (Yes, it's pretty sure that my asexuality and my longing for becoming physically neutrois is just a coincidence. Yes.)

 

[forsanctioneds]

I've been contemplating a little and wonder that if you've killed yourself, and you had a chance to start your life over again with all your memories intact, would you go back? And what decisions would you make differently?

If it were me, I'm not 100% sure if I want to go back considering I'd have to live without privileges and become the scapegoat for my family once more. At the same time, I want to better myself in becoming stronger, assertive and able to defend myself. With my memories intact, I'll waste no time in saving up money and investing in cryptocurrency until I make a million dollars and make money selling artwork at the age of nine or younger. Of course, I'd also prepare my exit for when life is no longer fun anymore or when I reach a certain age.

yes i would. and before i killed myself, i would remember like 10 lottery 1st prize numbers first.

 

[Irrelevant biologist]

I doubt I could do anything differently. I would still be a failure. I just need to be gone. No do overs.

 

[Nexey]

I don't know. That feels like a coin toss, even with the ability to still remember everything. One thing is for sure, I'd be a lot more prone to taking risks and forcing my way onto everyone else.

 

[mr.smileysad]

I sure as hell wouldn't want round two. All I do is cause more pain then If I hadn't been there. Almost everyone I know would have been a lot happier if I wasn't around

 

[Aloken]

No, I wouldn't want to have my memories intact from day 1. It would ruin everything. I would like to live my life normally again and when the right time would come I would like to have precognitions
that would help me change my behavior so I wouldn't do the same mistakes again. Maybe in early
2020 I would like to have a dream of my current life like a warning, but without the trauma and anxiety. It would be a gift.

 

[Xaxysh]

100% no, the reason im so suicidal is my illness which is genetic so that probably wouldnt change. i would also have to live with my abusive father for 18 years again.

 

[insanedoomer]

ofc no , and not even another life , nothing can brings pleasure i mean a bag of sands cannot choose to exist again as a bag of sand .

 

[Nevn]

Yes. If anything I'd have a chance to save my best friend from committing suicide. Also would have changed a lot of how I interacted with the world. Probably would have stayed away from certain people especially. Even if my life ended up messed up again. At least I could say I tried, and maybe felt like I had some level of control over it. Knowing what I do now. At least I'd have some sort of direction, to start it all again.

 

[Breakout92]

If i went back with everything intact, I'd still have all my mental illness issues that I have today. And the general mental problems and poor outlook on life that have from the brainwashing I got from my first go at this life would still be present, and I'm not sure that even being a 6 year old would let me undo much of that conditioning.

Furthermore, I'd feel extremely creepy being an almost 30 year old soul spending my days in a classroom with a bunch of <18 year olds by going to school throughout my life. If I wanted to re-befriend any of my old friends it would be strange and manipulative.

And it wouldn't help with many of my health issues, which would sadly start cropping up regardless of what life I lived I think as at the very least my heart problem seemed to just be something I was born with and the tumor I had was probably just random bad luck.

What I would really want is go to back and have 1 day to write a note to my younger self, and tell them what to do to not end up in my position today. I think it would have been possible for me to be happy enough with a few changes, and maybe if I won the lottery or made a bunch of money on Bitcoin I could afford better doctors to help with my health problems.