Say you’ve killed yourself... (Scenario)

[DetachedDreamer97]

I've been contemplating a little and wonder that if you've killed yourself, and you had a chance to start your life over again with all your memories intact, would you go back? And what decisions would you make differently?

If it were me, I'm not 100% sure if I want to go back considering I'd have to live without privileges and become the scapegoat for my family once more. At the same time, I want to better myself in becoming stronger, assertive and able to defend myself. With my memories intact, I'll waste no time in saving up money and investing in cryptocurrency until I make a million dollars and make money selling artwork at the age of nine or younger. Of course, I'd also prepare my exit for when life is no longer fun anymore or when I reach a certain age.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, i would certainly go back! I would make so many decisions the right way. I bet I could even be very famous and a millonaire by now haha

 

[Spiral]

If I started my life again with my memory in tact it would be worse than the first time because when I was a small child in round 1 I was full of naive hope and sometimes even joy, if I enter round 2 knowing what I know now I would never experience that hope and joy, nobody wants to be a 9 month old suicidal wreck and with that knowledge I would probably strangle myself with the umbilical cord before I was born in a desperate attempt to avoid replaying this nightmare (like in the the movie "the butterfly effect" where the protagonist tries to time travel to change his life and he only makes it a heck load worse until he ends the cycle by travelling back to his mothers womb to Ctb)

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

If I started my life again with my memory in tact it would be worse than the first time because when I was a small child in round 1 I was full of naive hope and sometimes even joy, if I enter round 2 knowing what I know now I would never experience that hope and joy, nobody wants to be a 9 month old suicidal wreck and with that knowledge I would probably strangle myself with the umbilical cord before I was born in a desperate attempt to avoid replaying this nightmare (like in the the movie "the butterfly effect" where the protagonist tries to time travel to change his life and he only makes it a heck load worse until he ends the cycle by travelling back to his mothers womb to Ctb)

Fair enough, let me add another loophole... you pretty much begin the day you're aware of things and able to talk, between age 3 and 5.

On another note, you're fight about the butterfly effect. One small action could fuck things up. Either way, yeah. i see your point on all accounts.

 

[BornofDust]

Tbh No. I just want it done with. It'll be honestly miserable to still be having all those shameful memories in place even with the chance to start over. Although if I do end up returning, I'll do what I've should've done when I was younger. There was a giant hole nearby my grandmothers apartment where put of curiosity I ran to it just to look down, I proceeded to get snatched up when she looked and found me. I would've made sure I jumped down that hole if I ever get a head start. And if that doesn't work I would've ran out the house a lot and just let a car run over me like what nearly happened. Since I was a very hyper child and ran out of the house a lot when I was little. So I would properly do that again and make sure a car crashes into me.

Although while my life would be miserable, maybe such as @DetachedDreamer97 suggest for himself I could use that to my advantage and mold myself into a stronger and tougher person, invest more in my future career earlier, and try to do everything I can to become more socially aware and gifted. I could do that, but for now I leaned towards no.

 

[Spiral]

Fair enough, let me add another loophole... you pretty much begin the day you're aware of things and able to talk, between age 3 and 5.

On another note, you're fight about the butterfly effect. One small action could fuck things up. Either way, yeah. i see your point on all accounts.

I did not have a happy childhood so even being 5 years old wouldn't make me go back.
If I could erase my memory and start a completely new life that promised to be nothing like this one then I might give it a shot :)

 

[Arrow]

if i could keep all of my memories and knowledge, id definitely give life another shot. i would be able to right so many of my wrongs! it's a shame thoughts like these can only be a daydream.

 

[foxdie]

I wouldn't. My brain won't let me lol. I can't stop thinking about the implications. That would make me an even more fucked up kid. And all your peers would be literal morons for like the first decade of your life lol. Or if you tried to be an adult, you'd be such an oddity. I think I'd go insane. Even with idealized caveats, there's no guarantee anything will go any differently anyway and all the bigger problems in the world would be the same so I'd definitely pass on this lol.

 

[-L-]

If I started my life again with my memory in tact it would be worse than the first time because when I was a small child in round 1 I was full of naive hope and sometimes even joy, if I enter round 2 knowing what I know now I would never experience that hope and joy, nobody wants to be a 9 month old suicidal wreck and with that knowledge I would probably strangle myself with the umbilical cord before I was born in a desperate attempt to avoid replaying this nightmare (like in the the movie "the butterfly effect" where the protagonist tries to time travel to change his life and he only makes it a heck load worse until he ends the cycle by travelling back to his mothers womb to Ctb)

I find this interesting... Because I literally did get strangled by the umbilical cord. It was 3 times around my neck when I was born. Blood flow was cut off to my brain. I spent nearly a month in the hospital in an incubator, with high oxygen levels.

Its bothered me for a long time... Because I was so close to death. Had I been born at home, or in another country without the resources, or at any point earlier in time. I would be dead.

The only thing that saved me was the doctors, and the modern medical technology they had at the time. They even went as far as to airlift me to another hospital with more specialized resources. If I had even been born as little as five years earlier, I would very likely be dead.

We demonize suicide and say it is unnatural, and to let nature take its course when speaking of death. But our society likes to glorify and actively encourages artificially prolonging, and preserving life at all costs. Effectively going against the will of nature. Even if you are essentially a brain dead vegetable.
What about letting nature take it's course???

My point is that I would've naturally died, if it weren't for that medical intervention.

They could've done me a huge favour by just letting me die then and there.

It would've prevented all of this. Let nature take its course.

Edited for formatting.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I want to kill myself & reincarnate as someone better looking and with much better parents. If so, I would probably not be suicidal in the slightest.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I don't think I'd want a round 2, even if I could make better decisions using my current knowledge. I don't want to relive all those terrible and painful moments which were not the result of any decision of mine, but of others or of pure bad luck.

 

[Spiral]

I find this interesting... Because I literally did get strangled by the umbilical cord. It was 3 times around my neck when I was born. Blood flow was cut off to my brain. I spent nearly a month in the hospital in an incubator, with high oxygen levels.

Its bothered me for a long time... Because I was so close to death. Had I been born at home, or in another country without the resources, or at any point earlier in time (even just by five years earlier). I would be dead.

The only thing that saved me was the doctors, and the modern medical technology they had at the time. They even went as far as to airlift me to another hospital with more specialized resources. If I had even been born as little as five years earlier, I would very likely be dead.

We demonize suicide and say it is unnatural, and to let nature take its course when speaking of death. But our society likes to glorify and actively encourages artificially prolonging, and preserving life at all costs. Effectively going against the will of nature. Even if you are essentially a brain dead vegetable.
What about letting nature take it's course???

My point is that I would've naturally died, if it weren't for that medical intervention.

They could've done me a huge favour by just letting me die then and there.

It would've prevented all of this. Let nature take its course.

Oh my gosh, I can understand wishing it had happened. I was breach and born by C section, I also would have died if it was not for modern medicine. I have often wished I had died then and wondered if perhaps I knew what was coming and I was resisting being born. I was told that when the Dr realised I was breach (standing upright with one foot on either side of the exit lol) they kneaded and shoved at the bump until they had shoved me into the correct angle (head down) and apparently I turned myself back to my original position straight away xD
I would obviously hate to be a mother who lost a child at birth, I can only imagine the heartbreak but I also do wish I had escaped at the beginning.
Wouldn't it be weird if we did remember a life before this one while we were in the womb and then we forgot it once we are born 0.0

 

[Rif]

Does this mean you get your mental and/or physical issues to be reset too? =]

 

[-L-]

Oh my gosh, I can understand wishing it had happened. I was breach and born by C section, I also would have died if it was not for modern medicine. I have often wished I had died then and wondered if perhaps I knew what was coming and I was resisting being born. I was told that when the Dr realised I was breach (standing upright with one foot on either side of the exit lol) they kneaded and shoved at the bump until they had shoved me into the correct angle (head down) and apparently I turned myself back to my original position straight away xD
I would obviously hate to be a mother who lost a child at birth, I can only imagine the heartbreak but I also do wish I had escaped at the beginning.
Wouldn't it be weird if we did remember a life before this one while we were in the womb and then we forgot it once we are born 0.0

I'm sorry to hear that you had a traumatic birth too.

I know its going to sound silly, and I'll admit I am slightly superstitious. I almost wounder if my soul (if there is such a thing) was trying to save me..

I wounder about that a lot.

Needless to say due to my unconventional birth, it has left me with various chronic health problems that will never go away and continue to make my life more difficult.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No. Even though I screwed up a lot of decisions and opportunities I'm pretty sure I'd screw most of them up again due to fear or incompetence.

 

[nolongerhuman]

Absolutely not. When I go I want to cease to exist. Permanently. I never want to think or feel anything ever again.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I wouldn't. My brain won't let me lol. I can't stop thinking about the implications. That would make me an even more fucked up kid. And all your peers would be literal morons for like the first decade of your life lol. Or if you tried to be an adult, you'd be such an oddity. I think I'd go insane. Even with idealized caveats, there's no guarantee anything will go any differently anyway and all the bigger problems in the world would be the same so I'd definitely pass on this lol.

You know what? That's definitely a very good point. Especially if you were to get in a relationship in middle or high school, guess it would be entirely fucked up. While I'd be smart and mature, I definitely wouldn't fit in.

 

[Spiral]

I'm sorry to hear that you had a traumatic birth too.

I know its going to sound silly, and I'll admit I am slightly superstitious. I almost wounder if my soul (if there is such a thing) was trying to save me..

I wounder about that a lot.

Needless to say due to my unconventional birth, it has left me with various chronic health problems that will never go away and continue to make my life more difficult.

It doesn't sound silly at all to me, I have very similar superstitions
I'm so sorry it's had a lasting affect on your life *hugs*

 

[Ardesevent]

I wouldn't want to go another round. Most of the things that have happened in my life were pretty much unpreventable because of how much I panic and make impulsive decisions, so it would be pointless to try again.

 

[Trisolaris]

I would go back to the age where I started taking psych meds and would have never taken them.

 

[262653]

I've been contemplating a little and wonder that if you've killed yourself, and you had a chance to start your life over again with all your memories intact, would you go back? And what decisions would you make differently?

If it were me, I'm not 100% sure if I want to go back considering I'd have to live without privileges and become the scapegoat for my family once more. At the same time, I want to better myself in becoming stronger, assertive and able to defend myself. With my memories intact, I'll waste no time in saving up money and investing in cryptocurrency until I make a million dollars and make money selling artwork at the age of nine or younger. Of course, I'd also prepare my exit for when life is no longer fun anymore or when I reach a certain age.

I can accept a few lives like that. Stored knowledge is a good motivator to learn things.

Maybe I wouldn't hurt people so overtly, knowing that repercussions might follow my actions. I think I'd be more willing to listen to other people and what bothers them, instead of attacking back. I feel like a lot of unnecessary suffering could be prevented on both sides, but who knows really?

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I can accept a few lives like that. Stored knowledge is a good motivator to learn things.

Maybe I wouldn't hurt people so overtly, knowing that repercussions might follow my actions. I think I'd be more willing to listen to other people and what bothers them, instead of attacking back. I feel like a lot of unnecessary suffering could be prevented on both sides, but who knows really?

Exactly! I honestly have a lot of regrets of my actions in how I've acted towards people. Being hostile towards people who are more like a family to me, while caring so much for people who are the opposite.

 

[Lupgevif]

Absolutely not.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes. One decision that would be made differently is that I would go through with destroying myself at an earlier age - as it was originally planned; instead of what actually happened: which is that I decided against it and continued to live up until old age. That is why I am still here to make this post rather than being in the ground.

Also I would have joined this community earlier.

 

[Neowise]

If I started my life again with my memory in tact it would be worse than the first time because when I was a small child in round 1 I was full of naive hope and sometimes even joy, if I enter round 2 knowing what I know now I would never experience that hope and joy, nobody wants to be a 9 month old suicidal wreck

Wow, are you me on an alt account? lol

I can relate so much, the reason I am here is not that I made mistakes but because I went through a ton of mental abuse by my narcissistic mother. I'm kinda glad I didn't know I was being abused when I was a kid.
If I relived my life I'd just go through the same abuse a second time and I would still end up here again in 25 years. Nothing would change.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Focus less on distant futures and proposed corporate and government living arrangements

 

[yetme]

Hell yeah! Totally! buy google.com, buy facebook.com, buy bitcoin and live happily after...
die. live, repeat!

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

Yes. I'd be a really good person and take advantage of my memory

 

[Rn110bg101]

I don't know. Even though I know where I went wrong, I don't know if I'd be strong enough to stop myself from doing it again. If I had a different life, though…

 

[LunarPyotr]

Let's just say I would do many things differently and would probably study computer science and probably get a better chances of getting a job.
Since I learned from my mistakes, I would also directly ditch Windows and MacOS and use GNU/Linux instead, which would prevent that one time, where my brother downloaded a ransomware which encrypted all of my Windows computers with 14tb of important data.

I would also refuse to buy a new car and buy one of those russian car's like Lada or UAZ, which are very easy to repair. I make the mistake of buying "high tech" cars which broke and I spend like +-60.000€ in total for repairs because I wasn't able to repair them, specially my 2013 Tesla EV.
If I would drive a Lada Niva or perhaps UAZ Hunter, then i would be able to grab one of those service manual books for 40usd and just repair those cars by myself since they are very analog and aren't that computerized.

I would also stay at my parents house and save money to buy my own house instead of renting that shitty 2 room apartment where I've been living for 5 yeas (till 2019).

and there are many other things that I would do differently...