More than one word, but today was rough. Idk I've been doing well as of late but it must be the holidays creeping up and the memories of the marriage I used to have and that family time I know I won't get this year. I got one of those I don't want to be alive itches today and just has lingered in my head most of the day. Hopeful that tomorrow is better. For my own sake I really don't want to fall back into a being down state of mind…