I posted this... Thread mulling honesty and am grateful to the person who replied.
I have explained more in therapy including reading stuff here. I get obsessive about things and I have become obsessive about this website and ctb. That is unhealthy AF.
I am about to block all ctb content through my router as part of the plan I made in therapy today but I wanted to give a few reflections first :
- most people will call out plans on ctb if it's not truly last resort, so in that way this site feels safe
- however I have been super uncomfortable and sad by the number of posts that imply the poster is not v old (e.g referencing living with parents). Why the hell is that being allowed.
- I can't be the only person whose ctb thoughts have escalated Because (or alongside) of this site. I am really glad I have the ability to recognise that even when I feel absolutely fucking hideous. I hope others who recognise the same likewise block.
- I have also developed an unhealthy AF obsession with DMC and whether or not he is evil. He scares me. Someone profiting from people's pain scares me.
- I'm sooooooooo fucking tired and overwhelmed with the whole idea of implementing my plan for living and all that and I really feel like I need to sleep just from writing this. It'd be so easy to leave myself to slide. But there are moments of joy in the world and so, the plan.
I have explained more in therapy including reading stuff here. I get obsessive about things and I have become obsessive about this website and ctb. That is unhealthy AF.
I am about to block all ctb content through my router as part of the plan I made in therapy today but I wanted to give a few reflections first :
- most people will call out plans on ctb if it's not truly last resort, so in that way this site feels safe
- however I have been super uncomfortable and sad by the number of posts that imply the poster is not v old (e.g referencing living with parents). Why the hell is that being allowed.
- I can't be the only person whose ctb thoughts have escalated Because (or alongside) of this site. I am really glad I have the ability to recognise that even when I feel absolutely fucking hideous. I hope others who recognise the same likewise block.
- I have also developed an unhealthy AF obsession with DMC and whether or not he is evil. He scares me. Someone profiting from people's pain scares me.
- I'm sooooooooo fucking tired and overwhelmed with the whole idea of implementing my plan for living and all that and I really feel like I need to sleep just from writing this. It'd be so easy to leave myself to slide. But there are moments of joy in the world and so, the plan.
