KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,834
I wonder if anyone else has read this book before, you can find the English translation here: https://denpaarchive.neocities.org/suicided

It's a memoir of a Japanese man in the editing industry who lost his wife and two close friends to suicide. One of them was the famous mangaka Nekojiru.

This is one of my favourite parts of the book:

"In the end, she died because she wanted to. Simple as that.

No attachments to life. As refreshing as it could be at times, it was scary at others. I wanted to live life full of hedonism, so encountering someone unafraid of death was unnerving. But Nekojiru seemed at peace with this world. Maybe she didn't need anything from it anymore.

She wrung herself dry then went up in smoke. A clean break. There was something frighteningly elegant in her death."

I find myself relating a lot to Nekojiru, so this book hits close to home. There is something comforting in the fact that all of the people discussed were older, in their 30s, and their struggles and motivations for suicide are things I can relate to as someone who is approaching 30, the problems and issues I had when I was younger almost feel small now in the face of getting older, sicker, lonelier.

The author speculates that Nekojiru was able to live that long because of her relationship with her husband, I think this is true for many people. Someone can motivate you to hold on for a bit longer, but that motivation is tenuous and you have to wonder if the pain is going to win out in the end.
 
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A_Spartan_Dead

A_Spartan_Dead

Life's sick joke is us; death is the punchline.
Dec 17, 2025
108
I wonder if anyone else has read this book before, you can find the English translation here: https://denpaarchive.neocities.org/suicided

It's a memoir of a Japanese man in the editing industry who lost his wife and two close friends to suicide. One of them was the famous mangaka Nekojiru.

This is one of my favourite parts of the book:

"In the end, she died because she wanted to. Simple as that.

No attachments to life. As refreshing as it could be at times, it was scary at others. I wanted to live life full of hedonism, so encountering someone unafraid of death was unnerving. But Nekojiru seemed at peace with this world. Maybe she didn't need anything from it anymore.

She wrung herself dry then went up in smoke. A clean break. There was something frighteningly elegant in her death."

I find myself relating a lot to Nekojiru, so this book hits close to home. There is something comforting in the fact that all of the people discussed were older, in their 30s, and their struggles and motivations for suicide are things I can relate to as someone who is approaching 30, the problems and issues I had when I was younger almost feel small now in the face of getting older, sicker, lonelier.

The author speculates that Nekojiru was able to live that long because of her relationship with her husband, I think this is true for many people. Someone can motivate you to hold on for a bit longer, but that motivation is tenuous and you have to wonder if the pain is going to win out in the end.
A great story.
And you're right: once 30 hits it's downhill from there. More expectations, societal pressure, problems, anguish and suffering, your parents dying off leaving you helpless and unable to have a stable home, homelessness, if they don't like you jobless too, on the streeet getting robbed, stabbed, SA'd, anything...

Who are they do you ask? The evil elites who worship evil things (I'm not talking about self proclaimed Satanists or the like).
Don't ask questions...
The apocalypse is here...
I'd rather die than be a slave
 
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BullsDon'tFly

Member
Dec 29, 2025
28
I read just the first page and it is so interesting. Do you know if there's a full PDF somewhere or we're bound to read it with font size 10 on a white page? I don't think I can browse the website properly, this book doesn't show up inside "Translation" category.
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,834
I read just the first page and it is so interesting. Do you know if there's a full PDF somewhere or we're bound to read it with font size 10 on a white page? I don't think I can browse the website properly, this book doesn't show up inside "Translation" category.
It's called suicided under the translation category, but I had to scroll down a lot to find it within the list, the website is a bit difficult to navigate on mobile for sure. I had a look but I'm not able to find the full pdf of the book elsewhere, only the chapter about Nekojiru specifically.
 
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