Help Sadly I'm Back

[darkdivine]

I used to be a member here years ago. Back when there used to be a discord server and even a sub-server made by other members solely to vent or talk, or even just to linger and feel less lonely. I left so long ago, ready to give up.
Everything I did failed. Even trying has gotten me very little in progress. I can barely leave my apartment most days and I barely know a soul in this town. Between all my own issues, dealing with my family's issues, life, and trauma I feel like I'm crumbling. My eating disorder is coming back because I'm back at my heaviest. I'm high every single day and can't stand the thought of being sober. I'm just not okay. I'd rather die than ever go back into hospital or an institution again, though.
Anyways, I'm just looking to see if there's any discord servers or chatrooms or anything out there like there used to be? I just miss having people like me to talk to who just get it.

 

[olkf]

I don't think sharing contact info is recommend

 

[darkdivine]

I don't think sharing contact info is recommend

I'm confused? How would I be sharing contact info for a group chat or a discord server or something?

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know that it can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I understand that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. I do not know anything about the question you are asking but I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Gordy99]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. There is a chat feature on the left hand side when logged in. However, there is a certain amount of posts you must have before seeing the chat option. I'm not sure how many posts you need. I wish you the best.

 

[Istanbulite]

I don't think sharing contact info is recommend

what do you mean? he/she never did so.

@darkdivine OP, try to post a bit so I can DM you and we can chat.

Cheer up, we are here

 

[darkdivine]

what do you mean? he/she never did so.

@darkdivine OP, try to post a bit so I can DM you and we can chat.

Cheer up, we are here

Thank you I will. I just rejoined last night I think.

Also, thanks to everyone who commented. Much appreciated.

 

[Marktheghost]

Welcome back. I'm sorry you're here.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

I'm so sorry your circumstances have led you back. I am here to listen if you need someone else.

 

[whatevs]

There is at least one disc server, but is for recovery. @Persephone ❦ had a thread on this.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

Thank you for mentioning me and the server, @whatevs!

I am sorry you have found yourself having to return here and that you are having to deal with so much pain and hardship, @darkdivine. I too have struggled with trauma, addiction and eating disorders so I can relate to everything you have written here.

I am an Admin for a recovery-focused server for SS members, but those who are unsure about where they stand with regards to recovery are welcome, and we have members at all stages (I'm personally not in recovery at all, but will support the server and help to run it for as long as I'm here). There's no toxic positivity and everyone is supportive - there are dedicated channels for venting and talking about suicidality (but method discussion is prohibited). You can read more about the server here if you like and see if it's an environment that would be supportive for you.

 

[darkdivine]

Thank you for mentioning me and the server, @whatevs!

I am sorry you have found yourself having to return here and that you are having to deal with so much pain and hardship, @darkdivine. I too have struggled with trauma, addiction and eating disorders so I can relate to everything you have written here.

I am an Admin for a recovery-focused server for SS members, but those who are unsure about where they stand with regards to recovery are welcome, and we have members at all stages (I'm personally not in recovery at all, but will support the server and help to run it for as long as I'm here). There's no toxic positivity and everyone is supportive - there are dedicated channels for venting and talking about suicidality (but method discussion is prohibited). You can read more about the server here if you like and see if it's an environment that would be supportive for you.

Wow, thank you so much for reaching out! I'll definitely look into it

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I used to be a member here years ago. Back when there used to be a discord server and even a sub-server made by other members solely to vent or talk, or even just to linger and feel less lonely. I left so long ago, ready to give up.
Everything I did failed. Even trying has gotten me very little in progress. I can barely leave my apartment most days and I barely know a soul in this town. Between all my own issues, dealing with my family's issues, life, and trauma I feel like I'm crumbling. My eating disorder is coming back because I'm back at my heaviest. I'm high every single day and can't stand the thought of being sober. I'm just not okay. I'd rather die than ever go back into hospital or an institution again, though.
Anyways, I'm just looking to see if there's any discord servers or chatrooms or anything out there like there used to be? I just miss having people like me to talk to who just get it.

What was your name?

I'm so sorry youre back here. It's an awful thing to be driven back to this place. I managed to get away from here once and then everything collapsed for me too. Being high though is a good thing if you're doing it healthily.

If you ever wanna talk, you can pm me. I don't recommend the discord servers. There are a few secret ones and they're cliquey and drama prone.

 

[Ashu]

Thank you for mentioning me and the server, @whatevs!

I am sorry you have found yourself having to return here and that you are having to deal with so much pain and hardship, @darkdivine. I too have struggled with trauma, addiction and eating disorders so I can relate to everything you have written here.

I am an Admin for a recovery-focused server for SS members, but those who are unsure about where they stand with regards to recovery are welcome, and we have members at all stages (I'm personally not in recovery at all, but will support the server and help to run it for as long as I'm here). There's no toxic positivity and everyone is supportive - there are dedicated channels for venting and talking about suicidality (but method discussion is prohibited). You can read more about the server here if you like and see if it's an environment that would be supportive for you.

"Toxic positivity": a perfect and necessary term for it.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

"Toxic positivity": a perfect and necessary term for it.

Sorry, I'm not understanding. Are you referring to the server as "toxic positivity"? Apologies if I have misunderstood.

There is no toxic positivity on the server. There are firm rules in place to ensure that it is a supportive environment in which members mutually respect each others' circumstances.

I would appreciate if members could refrain from preemptively passing judgement on a server they haven't joined. I work very hard on the communities I lead to keep them safe, prevent drama and ensure they are supportive. I am sorry if other servers have had issues. I cannot speak for other people's servers as I haven't joined historic ones. However, I do put a lot of time and care into my servers. Thank you.

 

[Ashu]

Sorry, I'm not understanding. Are you referring to the server as "toxic positivity"?

No, I was referring to the common attitude to which you seemed to be applying that admirably apt term, an attitude that we have all sufferred from. I was expressing appreciation for its aptness, and solidarity with my brothers and sisters in this group, and the fact that none of them raised any objections makes me hope that I was generally understood.

Apologies if I have misunderstood.

You have, and although it is easily done, I have to say that it has been very distressing and hurtful, since I come here, like most of us, to give and receive refuge and consolation.

I would appreciate if members could refrain from preemptively passing judgement on a server they haven't joined.

Yes, hasty judgements can indeed do a lot of harm, though I realize that yours will have been motivated by a concern that the returning member who began this thread might be discouraged from seeking help from the resource you curate. To that member I say again - in case there really has been any unclarity here - that I had no such intention. Absolutely the opposite, in fact.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

No, I was referring to the common attitude to which you seemed to be applying that admirably apt term, an attitude that we have all sufferred from.

Thank you very much for taking the time to clarify this Ashu, I appreciate you doing so and now completely understand where you were coming from with this.

You have, and although it is easily done, I have to say that it has been very distressing and hurtful

I am sorry for the distress that my comment above caused for you. I hadn't meant to hurt you - I acknowledge that I did and apologise deeply for this. I wanted to seek clarification and state that no toxic positivity is permitted on the server, due to fear that members would be discouraged from trying the servers for themselves.

I now understand that I did massively misunderstand what you meant by your comment. I'm truly very sorry for causing your hurt and distress.

motivated by a concern that the returning member who began this thread might be discouraged from seeking help

Yes, my concern was the recovery server being misjudged due to occurrences with historic servers began by other members (and that this would result in members being discouraged from joining).

This thought was upsetting too, because the server is very important to me and so much has been put into it to make it a useful, supportive environment (and that misplaced hurt admittedly impacted my own judgement of your comment).

These are the reasons why I made the statement about not preemptively passing judgement on the server, but I do now understand you didn't do this at all. You are absolutely right that this was hasty of me. Thank you for clarifying your meaning and intention, and once again, I'm sorry.

 

[aplacetogo]

You have, and although it is easily done, I have to say that it has been very distressing and hurtful, since I come here, like most of us, to give and receive refuge and consolation.

Props @Persephone ❦ and @Ashu for some very healthy conflict resolution. It's amazing what we can get done when we're just honest about our feelings without attacking the other person. That's what in my mind makes this community remarkable.