Venting sad broken soul

[darksouls]

my mother was a very violent woman
she abused me for as long as I can remember
my everyday life consisted of violence
my mother is a cruel person
she loved to torture me in the bathtub with the method of nearly drowning me
whenever I have these flashbacks
I feel her brutally grabbing my hair with both hands and pushing me under water
I am still too young to have any awareness of life and death
that is why I am not afraid of death
I am in pure panic
she lets me rise to the surface
panicked I gasp for air
then she pushes me under water again

 

[ifailedmyQueen]

Been married 22 years with kids of four. Great kids, no school trouble, active in community, all graduates of Hogh School. I learned some life changing words from my wife. That she is not sure if she wants to continue this marriage. She admits to me several things, she been lying about if these are good or not, if something was bothering her, if there is something I can work on. She smiles, laughs, and join all activities whom all of us thought she is happy. Then she tells me she been talking to someone but like hi, how is your day. Come to find out it's more than that. She talking to they guy in our home and actually right in front of me. I don't understand why she keeps doing this to me. She has talked to several men on line before in the last 10 yrs. I love nher so that I cannot see my life without her. I will adjust a. Then the last week it's been kinda good. One on one time, she is very affectionate with me, we are still having sexual intimacy, still very much enjoy each other's time. Until she reaches for t
Her phone where I am 60% sure she is talking to him while we are having our time. I been trying to fix this. I am still not sure what's going on and why she is hurting me like this. Never took her to be a cruel person but this is. I been out here with her family who doesn't really talk to us because I am not the same culture as her. I am thinking to die quickly, quietly, while she is at work. Problem is my daughter is home most of time. I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I keep waking up confused about yesterday what does it mean for us today. Or is she just using me enjoying boths sides of her relationships. Dunno but day by day I feel happy then confused, sad, and disrespected. I feel like I am being played for a fool. Not a lot of sites to go to if you want to learn successful ways to die.

 

[bankai]

my mother was a very violent woman
she abused me for as long as I can remember
my everyday life consisted of violence
my mother is a cruel person
she loved to torture me in the bathtub with the method of nearly drowning me
whenever I have these flashbacks
I feel her brutally grabbing my hair with both hands and pushing me under water
I am still too young to have any awareness of life and death
that is why I am not afraid of death
I am in pure panic
she lets me rise to the surface
panicked I gasp for air
then she pushes me under water again

I have nothing but rage for that woman. I hope you are in a better place now. I know it's a terrible thing. I won't make light of it. We need our parents to be better than this. Sometimes they aren't. Sometimes they are the embodiment of hell itself. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve such suffering at a young age

Sorry darksouls,I've seen you post this before.It's a terrible thing for any child to go through. You deserve better.

Been married 22 years with kids of four. Great kids, no school trouble, active in community, all graduates of Hogh School. I learned some life changing words from my wife. That she is not sure if she wants to continue this marriage. She admits to me several things, she been lying about if these are good or not, if something was bothering her, if there is something I can work on. She smiles, laughs, and join all activities whom all of us thought she is happy. Then she tells me she been talking to someone but like hi, how is your day. Come to find out it's more than that. She talking to they guy in our home and actually right in front of me. I don't understand why she keeps doing this to me. She has talked to several men on line before in the last 10 yrs. I love nher so that I cannot see my life without her. I will adjust a. Then the last week it's been kinda good. One on one time, she is very affectionate with me, we are still having sexual intimacy, still very much enjoy each other's time. Until she reaches for t
Her phone where I am 60% sure she is talking to him while we are having our time. I been trying to fix this. I am still not sure what's going on and why she is hurting me like this. Never took her to be a cruel person but this is. I been out here with her family who doesn't really talk to us because I am not the same culture as her. I am thinking to die quickly, quietly, while she is at work. Problem is my daughter is home most of time. I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I keep waking up confused about yesterday what does it mean for us today. Or is she just using me enjoying boths sides of her relationships. Dunno but day by day I feel happy then confused, sad, and disrespected. I feel like I am being played for a fool. Not a lot of sites to go to if you want to learn successful ways to die.

This particular situation is very common. I have seen this discussed so many times on Dave Ramsey's channel. It's absurd. I'm so sorry dude.

 

[enjoytheride]

Been married 22 years with kids of four. Great kids, no school trouble, active in community, all graduates of Hogh School. I learned some life changing words from my wife. That she is not sure if she wants to continue this marriage. She admits to me several things, she been lying about if these are good or not, if something was bothering her, if there is something I can work on. She smiles, laughs, and join all activities whom all of us thought she is happy. Then she tells me she been talking to someone but like hi, how is your day. Come to find out it's more than that. She talking to they guy in our home and actually right in front of me. I don't understand why she keeps doing this to me. She has talked to several men on line before in the last 10 yrs. I love nher so that I cannot see my life without her. I will adjust a. Then the last week it's been kinda good. One on one time, she is very affectionate with me, we are still having sexual intimacy, still very much enjoy each other's time. Until she reaches for t
Her phone where I am 60% sure she is talking to him while we are having our time. I been trying to fix this. I am still not sure what's going on and why she is hurting me like this. Never took her to be a cruel person but this is. I been out here with her family who doesn't really talk to us because I am not the same culture as her. I am thinking to die quickly, quietly, while she is at work. Problem is my daughter is home most of time. I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I keep waking up confused about yesterday what does it mean for us today. Or is she just using me enjoying boths sides of her relationships. Dunno but day by day I feel happy then confused, sad, and disrespected. I feel like I am being played for a fool. Not a lot of sites to go to if you want to learn successful ways to die.

Hi! Have you considered other options to deal with the situation, such as separation - even if temporary until you figure things out? Or would that be too painful? Also, is she the kind of person you can openly talk to about the issues without her overreacting or avoiding it? Have you discussed this with loved ones - such as a parent or a really good friend?

I don't know. It just feels that you deserve a chance and you shouldn't CTB because of what is happening - all other aspects of your life seem to make it a life to preserve. I can imagine the sense of treason and despair. A friend's wife cheated on him and I remember how devastated he was. But after some time he was able to recover and carry on with his life.

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm so sorry you grew up in that environment darksouls, no one should have to endure that treatment. And as a child none the less. Some people should never be parents.