sad about couple on the bus

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

I feel like an incel (femcel??) saying this but it's exactly as the title says. I fucked up the last relationship I was in due to my chronic suicidality and personality defects. I wish I could have a happy functional relationship and just be normal and chill and the girl everyone likes

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry! :( I hope you feel better and are more able to be that way in your next relationship! >_<

 

[Pyxel]

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get to find someone out there who will treat you well in a romantic relationship.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

Sometimes it's not good to succumb to the demands of society.

Having a social life is something that, in my opinion, I consider "overrated" because the truth is, it's not bad to be alone; sometimes it allows us more freedom to do what we want.

Of course, we all have different lifestyles, but what matters most here is to stop seeing things as something society demands.

Sometimes this can also be interpreted as envy.
And I don't want to sound rude, but envy poisons the soul.
I say this because what you're saying also happened to me.
I, too, was in a relationship, and just like you, I ruined it because of my depression and mental disorders.
I ruined it months before dropping out of college...

Every time I walk down the street or I'm on the bus, I envy seeing people who are happier than me, people who are laughing with their friends, or couples talking and kissing.

I understand when you say you want a happy relationship. It's a way to clear your mind from those who hurt you.
But in reality, it's not always good to depend on relationships that we don't know will be permanent. If one day those relationships end, you'll probably feel worse than you do now.

I don't have a magic solution, but something you can do is avoid situations that make you feel envious.
If you can't avoid them, try to distract your mind, focus on things that may be more relevant, like studying, work, something you enjoy doing, or seek a solution to distance yourself from those who harm you without considering CTB as the first solution.

For example, when I was 15, I stopped thinking about having a partner and focused on my studies. It was helpful because now my mind no longer attached importance to it.

The same goes for friendships.
I stopped thinking about having friends and being popular, and I focused on myself instead. In the end, I enjoyed being alone because I felt free.

This isn't something you can do overnight; it takes some concentration, but maybe it can help you in some way.

However, sometimes eliminating those desires by distracting your mind can harm your thoughts. I applied it to several things that stressed me out, and now I've become anhedonic...

 

[HappyForever?]

I feel exactly the same. I've always struggled with romance and dating, only narrowly escaping being forever alone. I feel extremely jealous when I see couples. I feel that I'm denied the happiness that I have always wanted.

 

[SolomonKado]

having a relationship takes a lot. For one you can't be there to help someone else when you can't be there for yourself. You'll just cause both of you to be unhappy. Also don't try and rush it. You'll settle for the next person who pays attention to you and could ruin your life and their own. When I see couples now all I see is my own pain and suffering I endured because I didn't know any of this. Couples piss me off now.

I know this sounds cliche, but get to know yourself and be able to be strong for yourself. What's going to happen if your like this and have a kid? You want them to feel this way? You actually have to be strong to be a parent or you'll end up with a kid like me who had a mom who couldn't be there to raise me because of her mental health issues. People have kids by accident all the time and it sucks. All because "Sex is fun" or "he" just wouldn't stop touching her in her "favorite" places

Jokes aside I'm sorry if any of this bothers you. I don't mean to, but I feel strongly about this and tired of seeing kids who struggle and lost before they even get their chance and it all started because one or both parents were lonely….

I am also a parent who fucked it up just like my parents. My ex left Me by the time our kid was 4 months old. I wish someone would have told me all this so I could have stopped the cycle. Making sure I understand the importance of it.

Learn to love yourself completely before you try to love someone else. If you don't then you really don't love them. You're just being desperate. I know in your heart you are better than that and want something strong and lasting. Don't rush.

 

[F&Inside]

Hello d3j3ct.
Sometimes we waste time on relationships that aren't worth it. Because we don't want to see the true, and it's easier to blame on us.
You don't have to try hard. Love flows naturally.
You just have to find that special person, with a real connection, both made for each other, true and reciprocal love. The one who will support you no matter what. And you too. No more headaches, just love and passion.