Obliviate
Abandon All Hope
- Aug 13, 2022
- 826
I have an abundant amount of reasons to CTB like a billion reasons. From abuse to trauma to bad luck to everything. One main reason is financial trouble and corruption. Anyone that has pets know that the medical system even for animals like the vet is a fuckin SCAM. SO much fucking money spent on the ER and to just have an office visit not to mention how rude some docs can be. I was gonna CTB regardless but my heart literally breaks knowing that there are so many animals out there starving homeless abused and dying. There is only so much my family can afford. Now, my cats are my life. My everything. My soulmates. My children. I would literally die for them. The amount of money that would be spent on me staying alive can be used for them and their health to give them a good life cuz those vet bills are literally disgustingly expensive. We can barely afford them now and the fact that money ultimately is the deciding point whether they live or die. I've given them all the love I can and I bawl in tears knowing I'll be leaving them soon. I honestly cannot bear to outlive them and see them die. I would probably die with them if that were the case. I already have a kitten waiting for me in heaven. when I tell you these cats have literally been the only ones to ever give me love and care about me in my entire life........it's insane how cruel and evil this world and my life is. These last couple of months I've been trying to get a job so I can atleast leave some money behind for them but ofcourse racism and sexism hits again and no job. I literally have no future and life in my situational circumstances. The least I could do is make sure that the only ones that ever gave me happiness live a good decent life. My family who is abusive not to mention, can sell my things (not that they are valuable) and the money that would have been used to feed me, medical school, a car, rent, miscellaneous things, everything, could be used for my cats instead. Becoming a doctor and getting the financial gain will be literally 15 years from now and no way in hell would I survive the racism, sexism and abuse in this systemic fucked up world. Every single odd and con is against me to succeed. I think I needed a CONCRETE reason to finally make the decision to leave and this is it, I've found one. Sacrificing everything for my children. Even though my family is horrible and abusive to me, they LOVE my cats and I know they'll be taken care of.
So this is it, I've found one of my main reasons. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with them and hopefully after I'm gone they continue to live a wonderful life.
So this is it, I've found one of my main reasons. I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with them and hopefully after I'm gone they continue to live a wonderful life.
