Russian roulette part two

[Fullof pain]

Due to the extreme vomiting, I can't take anymore tablets, for a few hours anyway. So part two, let's play hunt the artery!! Or failing that lets cause as much physical damage as possible. weaponry all lined up; iron, knives, razors, cigarettes, corkscrew, stanley knife.....

 

[Saed]

What are you hoping to achieve by reporting this to us? Are you doing it because you need someone here to talk you out of it?
I think I phrased that very badly,for which I apologise.
What went wrong with the help that was lined up for you?

 

[Soul]

@Fullof pain, what are you doing with that assortment of items? Please be careful and don't keep messing yourself up.

Is there anyone with you? anyone in real life you can talk with? x

 

[Deleted member 19654]

It was only the other day that you were feeling more optimistic and you were considering going in for some emdr therapy. What happened?

 

[Fullof pain]

I am not hoping to achieve anything by recording said actions. All I hope for is that someone can bear witness to the pain i'm in. I am not looking for anything from anyone, never have and never will. Just somewhere to record my pain, I guess. I am sorry if my actions are offensive. Yes emdr will be happening in the future, but that is a long way off. I do not need any one to talk me out of anything i've been self sufficient since i was 13. I travel my own path. I just want my pain acknowledged before i go. Truly i am saddened by your inference that i am somehow attention seeking. I pray to God that none of you ever experience this level of pain. I thought this was a place of acceptance, guess I got that wrong too

 

[Saed]

No,your actions aren't offensive.
I just wanted to understand your motivations,that's all.
I hate that you're in so much pain you feel the drive to inflict pain upon pain.
At a loss as to what I can say.
Everything I attempt to type is going to come out wrong.
All I can wish for you is,this need to self harm is superceded by a stronger drive to resist and win.
Triumph...

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

All I hope for is that someone can bear witness to the pain i'm in.

ASK PERMISSION.

Put your self-harm in spoilers with trigger warnings.

You're victimizing others by flashing them with your self-harm. It's no-touch assault. Give others a choice to not see your shit if they don't want to. Those who do will step up and be supportive.

You said, "I tought this was a place of acceptance, guess I got that wrong too," like others here are victimizing you? Step down from that shit.


Use trigger warnings. Use spoilers.

 

[autumnal]

All I am seeking is acceptance for what I am and what i'm feeling. And to be too much to handle , for the suicide community, makes me feel pretty shite. I do not look for anything from anyone, I learnt that a long time ago. Acceptance, perhaps validation. I am truly saddened. But this simply reinforces what I've known all along, trust no one. I thought I could be honest here, but obviously not, I'm done.

I wouldn't say you are too much for this community to handle. But as a group we do tend to be oriented towards the two extremes of either successful and peaceful suicide or recovery towards a normal life. We aren't necessarily interested in self-harm or inflicting pain and suffering upon ourselves just for the sake of it. So when faced with a situation like yours, we are likely to instinctively direct you either towards more peaceful and effective methods for suicide, or towards recovery and a ceasing of self-harm. If you want a community that fully understands and enthusiastically endorses your self-harm, you may need to find one elsewhere specialising in that topic. That's not to say that there aren't members who self-harm here, and discussions of it, but it is never going to be the primary focus.

You're victimizing others by flashing them with your self-harm. It's a goddamn no-touch assault.

It's certainly a bit confronting, but let's not go totally nuts here. I doubt that a forum of people who are assumed to be able to handle unspoilered discussion of suicide via all manner of gory means is at the same time inherently unable to handle the concept of those exact same implements being used for non-fatal purposes.

Incidentally, is the spoilering of self-harm content required anywhere in the rules, or just a polite convention? I couldn't seem to find it mentioned there or in the unofficial forum guide.

 

[Saed]

All I am seeking is acceptance for what I am and what i'm feeling. And to be too much to handle , for the suicide community, makes me feel pretty shite. I do not look for anything from anyone, I learnt that a long time ago. Acceptance, perhaps validation. I am truly saddened. But this simply reinforces what I've known all along, trust no one. I thought I could be honest here, but obviously not, I'm done.

When you first came to this forum,it was during taking an overdose of paracetamol to die.
Many members of the community gave you solid advice on this.
As we got to know you,we started to understand that you feel the drive toward self-harm.
You've also explained that you need witnesses.
You don't want to be talked out of it.
So,I found myself at a loss as to what I can conceivably say.
That isn't a rejection by the community.
@autumnal has summarised the situation pretty well above.
And @GoodPersonEffed has made some good points worth considering,too.

I know that you are lonely. So,why not start a topic that is more relatable to most people?
I'm not saying you need to conceal your self-harm to be accepted.
What I mean is,launch a thread to get a variety of replies from a cross section of people and more responses. Then,you'll have people to communicate with.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It's certainly a bit confronting, but let's not go totally nuts here. I doubt that a forum of people who are assumed to be able to handle unspoilered discussion of suicide via all manner of gory means is at the same time inherently unable to handle the concept of those exact same implements being used for non-fatal purposes.

Before I saw your comment I took out the goddamned.


If it feels assaulting, it feels assaulting. Your minimizing doesn't change or weaken my position.

I give no personal fucks about the imaginary bandwagon, reframe and spin, or your personal interpretation of nuts.


Based on your consistent posting, which allows for a safe measure of predictability, I anticipate you'll come back with an argument. I will not engage. I said what I have to say. I responded to your negation. Anything else is you wanting to "win," and that's not about my comment.

 

[Soul]

@Fullof pain, I'm not offended, simply confused. Your thread titles sound perilous, and I still don't understand what you intend to do with the collection of items you've listed. I acknowledge that you're in pain but I don't know what's going on with you or what you want to be going on.

 

[autumnal]

Before I saw your comment I took out the goddamned.

If it feels assaulting, it feels assaulting. Your minimizing doesn't change or weaken my position.

I give no personal fucks about the imaginary bandwagon, reframe and spin, or your personal interpretation of nuts.

Based on your consistent posting, which allows for a safe measure of predictability, I anticipate you'll come back with an argument. I will not engage. I said what I have to say. I responded to your negation. Anything else is you wanting to "win," and that's not about my comment.

Sorry to disappoint, but from this and other posts I think you have a highly inflated and inaccurate view of people's desire to somehow 'win' against you

You are more than entitled to your opinion about what constitutes victimisation or a 'no-touch assault' (!). I merely offered my own views in counterpoint, and made reference to the rules seemingly not supporting your insistence that such comments should be spoilered. Beyond that, any discussion is now moot.