Venting running into deep deppression I can't take it anymore also getting bullied more often by strangers

[nohopenohappiness]

Becoming sadder as days go by I look into my mothers eyes she doesn't notice my Sadness one bit . I guess its a good a bad thing it's made me sad for years how she doesn't believe depression exist she believes it's the devil making me feel the way I do. idk maybe it's a phycological religious thing anyways it's sad she will never get to know the reason why I left so early

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry she doesn't understand. Sorry you're suffering

 

[Maudlin]

I wish you didn't feel the way you do.

But, look on the bright side. You said: "getting bullied more often by strangers".

Strangers make the best bullies, in my opinion. The great thing about strangers is
you don't have to give one tiny fuck what they say or do. You don't have to care what they think, you don't have to care if they live or die. They can all go blow a dog, for all you care... if that's the way you want to feel about it.

Folks like your Mom though, well it's hard not to care about folks like that.
I hope you find a little peace of mind, OP.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that others will never be able to understand what we go through as they cannot experience life the same way. After all, as humans we are all alone. But I do know that it's hard to carry on existing when you suffer so much and when life just continues to get worse. It's certainly a depressing and painful existence. I wish you the best.

 

[Pluto]

My mother didn't care about my sadness because she had zero empathy. She would even laugh at me when I was suicidal, as if it is 'cute'. She only cared about her religion fanaticism and her hobby/work. I found myself getting bullied in various settings because I had never known what it felt like to be treated with respect. I was used to being blamed, shamed and laughed at.

If any of this resonates, you need to start to look at the damage done by being around toxic parents. Right now it may seem to be all you know, but there comes a time we have to accept that we've been abused and have to deal with the results of that.

 

[noaccount]

If it was the devil doing it why would that mean you were not depressed? It's not like it's only called depression if its source is some specific particular cause...

People are the worst I'm so sorry.