Venting Roommate is guilting me into not CTB

[sadone2122]

So within the past month I've tried to kill myself 3 different times and I've been in 3 different psych units over 6 different times. My roommate is constantly bombarding me with "if you succeed what about me!? You're going to leave me and I'm going to be blaming myself and always wondering what I did wrong. You have people who love you, you're being so selfish. Your daughter needs her mom" etc… just like yelling at me… making me feel like shit. And I told her that I was sorry about my first attempt because I tried to ctb in my room and she was like "I would have found you and been traumatized" so the other times I wasn't home. And then, she tells me she knew that I was doing something wrong to myself because I never lock my bedroom door unless I'm hurting myself. She said she called the suicide hotline but didn't call 911! Can you believe that!? If she knew I was exiting then why not call 911?! Whatever. I'm just so annoyed because like, I don't wanna hurt people, ya know!? But this life is unbearable and I'm in constant agony. I've been suicidal since I was like 8 years old! I'm really fucking upset…