Venting romanticization of my own melancholy.

[venua]

I want the love you see in those old movies. The ones where the two lovers are totally entwined within eachother. I'm romanticizing my own depression out of pure lack of being able to accept that I'm lonely. It's weirdly poetic. Seeing myself become encapsulated by it all. And yet, I am in love. Totally entwined within him. I wish to feel this way physically, but I can't. Not yet. I will wait. It's all I ever do. And this time, I pray it will be worth it. I can't waste another 4 months on a man who doesn't care, let alone want me.