Discussion Risk-taking behaviour

[lachrymost]

What are some risks you take because you're suicidal? Not just risks that increase mortality, but others like social, financial, etc.

You can skip the rest of this where I talk about my own pathetic risk-taking:

When things were going well (short period between abject miseries), I was actually getting into the habit of sobriety and brushing my teeth everyday. Crazy, I know. I wasn't there yet but I was working towards it. What a joke. Now I drink increasingly recklessly and can see the appeal of alcoholism. It's not that bad yet, but I know I could spiral at any moment. I'm smoking weed regularly too; previously I was worried about the risks. Changing a tampon in a timely manner (TSS anyone?) or washing my hands is advanced level hygiene now. I take death wish walks late at night half-hoping to be raped or killed. I spontaneously climbed down a steep, rocky hill once. I'm spending money I was supposed to be saving on tattoos and piercings, which in the bearable before times I never would have imagined. Forget going in for bloodwork, dental work, pap smears, or any of that preventative shit. I gave myself a minor burn on my face and cut up the back of my neck. I have horrendous social anxiety, so for me it feels like a crazy risk telling people who ask how I am that I'm "not great" or, if I'm particularly daring, "terrible". (This has resulted in one very stupid conversation so far, but what do I expect?) I decided to brave this occasionally as some kind of (for me) radical "I'm here under duress" vibe. (The tattoos and piercings are contributing as well.) I'm also considersending sending my ID to some random site that sells fancy meat curing products because they're hard to get anywhere else. But I gotta cure all this fucking roe I have after the Great Salmon Heist.

 

[Julgran]

What are some risks you take because you're suicidal? Not just risks that increase mortality, but others like social, financial, etc.

You can skip the rest of this where I talk about my own pathetic risk-taking:

When things were going well (short period between abject miseries), I was actually getting into the habit of sobriety and brushing my teeth everyday. Crazy, I know. I wasn't there yet but I was working towards it. What a joke. Now I drink increasingly recklessly and can see the appeal of alcoholism. It's not that bad yet, but I know I could spiral at any moment. I'm smoking weed regularly too; previously I was worried about the risks. Changing a tampon in a timely manner (TSS anyone?) or washing my hands is advanced level hygiene now. I take death wish walks late at night half-hoping to be raped or killed. I spontaneously climbed down a steep, rocky hill once. I'm spending money I was supposed to be saving on tattoos and piercings, which in the bearable before times I never would have imagined. Forget going in for bloodwork, dental work, pap smears, or any of that preventative shit. I gave myself a minor burn on my face and cut up the back of my neck. I have horrendous social anxiety, so for me it feels like a crazy risk telling people who ask how I am that I'm "not great" or, if I'm particularly daring, "terrible". (This has resulted in one very stupid conversation so far, but what do I expect?) I decided to brave this occasionally as some kind of (for me) radical "I'm here under duress" vibe. (The tattoos and piercings are contributing as well.) I'm also considersending sending my ID to some random site that sells fancy meat curing products because they're hard to get anywhere else. But I gotta cure all this fucking roe I have after the Great Salmon Heist.

Depending on what your underlying problems are, it may be natural to self-harm in indirect ways, but try not to make yourself end up in an even worse situation than you are already in - especially by trying to hurt yourself.

Do you feel like your self-harming behavior is some kind of scream for help, sometimes...?

 

[hellispink]

I am a borderline. So doing weird stuff is on me. I don't go far though cause I don't wanna end up in half or with a disability. Other than that, every risk thing I could do . I am in need of five piercings and three tattos if possible. Maybe tomorrow I would wanna do some other crazy stuff.

 

[makethepainstop]

Many times acts considered brave are actually people that have an active death wish. They don't necessarily want to suicide, but they would not mind dying.