Venting ripped a barcode in me wrist n i be genuinely confused as to why

[SOU_P]

it wasn't much, less lines than i usually do n around average, if not sub-par deepness for me, but i'm sittin here wonderin why. ain't nothin happenin today that would make me do it. i think it was because i convinced meself i would earlier today, but even then, the only reason i convinced meself was because i was tired?? i be a strange lad, aye.
wonderin if yall have similar experiences-

also how the fuck do ye get outta the mindset where ye think yer cuts ain't deep enough or large enough or whatever the fuck? been strugglin with it ever since i started, aye, still kickin meself for givin me dull knife n pencil sharpener to me parents a while back (was bribed by me brother with guitar samples for me music THAT HE HAS YET TO GIVE, ARGHH) :,)

 

[ToastInTheShell]

I get similar rando urges too I've just grown to enjoy doing it.

As for that "we need to go deeper" mindset, I haven't gotten over it yet either. Deeper just feels more satisfying I guess. They leave ugly scars but it just feels so good, and I love just looking at the blood and styro.

If u wanted to fight that mindset, which is p harmful icl, maybe try some "harm reduction"; actively try to make cuts shallow and sh in less permanent ways? Idrk tho I might be waffling.

Hope u get ur guitar samples, sailor :)

 

[mehdone]

For me, it was the realization that it wasn't about the amount of damage, it was about the release.

I have seriously injured myself- gone and dug *deep*, and honestly, it gave me no more relief than something more superficial- it just took much longer to heal, and that aftercare is annoying. Always worrying it'll break open and I'll bleed through clothing, etc.

Back when I was a daily or multiple times a day cutter, I would cut when I was happy, cut when I was sad- cut just because I was bored. Any excuse- it is an addictive thing.