Discussion Resilience

[Peachycherry]

The American Psychological Association (2014) defines resilience as "the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress (para. 4)."

Sometimes I wonder if I had better resilience, I wouldn't feel as much that ctb is my only option. Maybe I'd actually be able to seek help. So many people go through difficult situations and yet are able to push through them since they have good resilience. I don't understand how they're just able to go get the help they need. Do you guys think that there's ways to improve resilience, even if mental illnesses like anxiety or depression stand in the way? And if you could deal better with difficult situations in your life even if you wouldn't completely be able to solve them (whatever they are), would you lose the urge to ctb, or would you still feel the same?

 

[Meditation guide]

Do you guys think that there's ways to improve resilience

Be stubborn with a survival instinct that never quits. Or get tested by a doctor for hypothyroidism. That's what helped me get mine back, getting that treated. It still burns out after being overwhelmed one time too many.

 

[Ghost2211]

I've always done things because I have to. I don't like to, and I'm not happy about it. I don't see another option aside from keep pushing forward. I think a sense of responsibility or obligation mixed with guilt builds resilience.

 

[Lilacmoon]

I have to make it a little bit longer before I can go. I have to make sure my girlfriend will be okay. If only just for my own ego's sake.

But sometimes I really really wish I did not have this sense of responsibility to her. Hooray love. Unsure if that counts as resilience, but sometimes it feels like it.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I was born into a home with a quick tempered father. Always screaming, swinging his fist or belt at myself, my brother and my mother. Mental abuse mixed in with the physical. He died when I was 15 and 2 months. Elementary school the kids teased me -bad. Because I played with salamanders and frogs snake son recess instead of worrying about fashion. About 6 months after my father died I met a man that would be more evil than my father. I was his punching bag for about a yr-a yr and a half. So I didn't have the best start in life. I spent from 16 1/2 - 18 1/2 suicidal- diagnosed with thyroid cancer so now 4 surgeries, life support and radiation therapy... I guess it must be resilience because the therapists I had as a teenager helped me some. At 20 I had my older son was a single mom and lived happily until my son died in a car accident 3 yrs ago. I did have depression and anxiety always but kept it in control because my son needed me stable.
I can say time is a HUGE factor. As life moved on and I was happy being mom the abuse I went through faded more and more. It wasn't in my face. I used to tell my son life is a learning lesson. We go through something learn and on to the next lesson. I know somethings we look at and say what lesson can be possibly learned- I don't know honestly. I can say due to the mental, physical abuse and being teased in elementary school I tend to treat everyone with more kindness than other people. I would never want to hurt someone with my words...

 

[Peachycherry]

I was born into a home with a quick tempered father. Always screaming, swinging his fist or belt at myself, my brother and my mother. Mental abuse mixed in with the physical. He died when I was 15 and 2 months. Elementary school the kids teased me -bad. Because I played with salamanders and frogs snake son recess instead of worrying about fashion. About 6 months after my father died I met a man that would be more evil than my father. I was his punching bag for about a yr-a yr and a half. So I didn't have the best start in life. I spent from 16 1/2 - 18 1/2 suicidal- diagnosed with thyroid cancer so now 4 surgeries, life support and radiation therapy... I guess it must be resilience because the therapists I had as a teenager helped me some. At 20 I had my older son was a single mom and lived happily until my son died in a car accident 3 yrs ago. I did have depression and anxiety always but kept it in control because my son needed me stable.
I can say time is a HUGE factor. As life moved on and I was happy being mom the abuse I went through faded more and more. It wasn't in my face. I used to tell my son life is a learning lesson. We go through something learn and on to the next lesson. I know somethings we look at and say what lesson can be possibly learned- I don't know honestly. I can say due to the mental, physical abuse and being teased in elementary school I tend to treat everyone with more kindness than other people. I would never want to hurt someone with my words...

Thank you for sharing your story, I can't imagine how though that must have been, and I'm happy you got to have peace at some point. I do agree, when you've been exposed to other people's cruelty, you're more kind to others because you know how it feels to be on the receiving end.