Discussion Resentment

[Sonnenblume]

Do any of you resent that your friends and/or family don't support of respect your right to die? I do, can't help it, having to go through this completely alone is painful. It's not like I wanted anyone to help me or be there with me when I go, I don't. I just wanted to be able to talk about it a bit, partly so they'd know it was coming, and to say proper goodbyes. But people can't be decent so it's be alone or suffer in silence for the next 50+ years just so everyone else doesn't have to think too much about me or what people like me go through. People suck.

 

[Maggotymaggots]

I personally don't resent my family, granted, I've never asked them to accept that I will eventually (sooner rather than later, hopefully) kill myself. They're very religious, so I knew that was never going to happen. However, I understand feeling resentful. It's completely unreasonable to expect someone who hates living to just grin and bear it for decades on end. I couldn't imagine having to do that, and don't intend to.

 

[Squidward]

Fuck yes. It's treated like a thought crime and i find it crazy how little people take issue with that.

And the reactions aren't even consistent in my experience. I know plenty of people that regularly joke about shooting people, but suicide jokes are scary and unacceptable... wtf?

 

[Sonnenblume]

My problems are not going away, I wouldn't be killing myself if not for the physical issues. I have some anxiety and depression but without the physical problems they're practically nothing (Though I'm pro-choice for all people, just to be clear). Anyone who wasn't depressed in my condition would be a fruit loop, imo. Yet I just get told, condescendingly, to seek mental help, like that's going to solve shit. The idiots that were around me want me to basically wait until I can't move from the neck down. Well, gee how am I gonna do shit when that happens? There's no legal right to die in my country except for a few places for the terminally ill, which I'm most likely not. Were they gonna help me get to Dignitas? Were they going to pay the $12,000 for it? Of course not. Why does every other sack of shit I've ever known get to decide how much I must suffer, and I have zero say?

What pisses me off the most is that these fucks don't really even care. The reason people are against this right is because it bursts a bubble in their silly pollyana delusions that life is some inherent, unquestionable, good, except in the most extreme cases... and they get to decide what those cases are, of course, not the person that actually has to live with it. Whew, sorry, I'm just venting.

 

[Malice1]

Definitely. Sometimes the resentment is so strong that it turns into hatred towards them. Why must they try and stop me. My N came today, both parents were home when it came (bad luck). They both started asking questions like whats in it (they know im suicidal). Luckily i had an excuse prepared for them (said it was lubricant) but i dont think i'm in the clear yet. They might ask me to open it in front of them, in which case ill continue with my lie heh. I dont think they will fall for it if they see it but w/e. The good news is that it really does look like lubricant lol.

Im an adult but if they knew what it really was they could easily call the cops on me and have me sent to a psych ward. Anyway I wouldnt have to go through any of this if they just supported me in my decision to die. I should have used A's special method just in case but i think ill be fine.

 

[El Topo]

I know exactly what you mean. There seem to be 2 main responses when I bring up the subject:

1. "Suicide is for cowards! You have to keep going!" (I think anyone who condemns suicide as a cowardly act has never experienced true suffering. Yes, everyone suffers, but some people suffer more than others. That's just how it is.)

2. "I would be so sad if you committed suicide!" (Yeah, okay, thanks for making this about you. Ugh.)

 

[Sonnenblume]

I know exactly what you mean. There seem to be 2 main responses when I bring up the subject:

1. "Suicide is for cowards! You have to keep going!" (I think anyone who condemns suicide as a cowardly act has never experienced true suffering. Yes, everyone suffers, but some people suffer more than others. That's just how it is.)

2. "I would be so sad if you committed suicide!" (Yeah, okay, thanks for making this about you. Ugh.)

Yeah one silly bitch actually expected me to live for her. I don't owe anyone my entire life, and it was appalling of her to ask that. I found an excuse to get her out of my life. I won't cower to these cunts, if that makes me the bad guy, so be it.

 

[VintheBlueRose]

In this particular case I can feel myself a bit luck, I have two friends that know and they don't really support me but understand how much devasted I am after failing so much in life. I can't talk openly with them though because they are very busy people, and don't really agree with my decision but at least they know and don't judge me..

But besides this two people I can't allow talk to anyone about it they not only will be against but I will probably get that nice lecture we all know or even something worse.

But I did wish I had someone near me that I could talk openly about it.

 

[El Topo]

Definitely. Sometimes the resentment is so strong that it turns into hatred towards them. Why must they try and stop me. My N came today, both parents were home when it came (bad luck). They both started asking questions like whats in it (they know im suicidal). Luckily i had an excuse prepared for them (said it was lubricant) but i dont think i'm in the clear yet. They might ask me to open it in front of them, in which case ill continue with my lie heh. I dont think they will fall for it if they see it but w/e. The good news is that it really does look like lubricant lol.

Im an adult but if they knew what it really was they could easily call the cops on me and have me sent to a psych ward. Anyway I wouldnt have to go through any of this if they just supported me in my decision to die. I should have used A's special method just in case but i think ill be fine.

You told your parents the N was lubricant? Like lubricant for wacking off?

 

[Malice1]

You told your parents the N was lubricant? Like lubricant for wacking off?

Yep lol and they fell for it...or they just didnt care.

 

[El Topo]

Yep lol and they fell for it...or they just didnt care.

"What's this package that came for you?"

"It's a medicine that I'm going to use to kill myself..."

"What?!?!!!!"

"Just kidding, calm down. It's lubricant. Now leave me alone for the next few hours."

lol

 

[Malice1]

"What's this package that came for you?"

"It's a medicine that I'm going to use to kill myself..."

"What?!?!!!!"

"Just kidding, calm down. It's lubricant. Now leave me alone for the next few hours."

lol

Lol i wouldnt even joke like that. Dont want them second guessing it and then telling me to open it in front of them.

 

[FullFat]

My dad has pissed me off about it before but mostly because of his ignorant attitudes about mental illness in general. He's the kind of person who would say "suicide is the coward's way out" or that you can beat depression by "not crying over spilt milk". He's gotten better.

My mom actually admitted to me that she's considered suicide before. That really saddened me a lot. She doesn't deserve the life she was handed. Then again, few do.

 

[Tiburcio]

Yes. Fucking yes. I shit on all the people I know. Unsupportive assholes, every excuse is good to live for them. Fuck that guys so much, I hope they experience more pain that I'm going throught. I doubt it works, they are so fucking stupid that they would want to live anyway, but fuck them and their misery, at least my thirst of revenge would be fulfilled. Specially my family, and even more my parents. You made me, I fuck you. Idiots and stupid pro-lifers all them. I spit on all them.



Good venting, I feel satisfied by now.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

There's a girl who I stopped being friends with when I was 18, because she went behind my back and told my family that I was talking about CTB. She thought she was helping but I've never had much/any respect for her since then because she had zero regards for how I felt and didn't even bother to tell me she was going to do it. I now resent her even more because she's gone through her life being the 'hero' and doing psychology degrees and Masters in mental health and she's that annoying person who wants to make the world a better place, or something. I resent her.

I generally resent the world in full apart from that, no-one in particular is more at fault than anyone else.

 

[NeverEndingCircle]

i tottally get this. i tryed last week to just explain to a couple of people cuz i just wanted someone to go yeah ok i get it. i guess i know people dont want you to die but i was so desperate for someone to just accept thats what i wanted. ive stopped trying now cuz i know thaats pretty muchnever going to happen.

 

[BigMac]

I've made the mistake of confiding in people. Never again. Not that people mean harm, they just will never get it until their life gets bad enough.

 

[CRM]

I've made the mistake of confiding in people. Never again. Not that people mean harm, they just will never get it until their life gets bad enough.

I've regretted it every time I've opened up to someone I knew in real life. It's even made me feel embarrassed. It sucks to be so misunderstood.

 

[LoverofDeath]

I resent my family even if they didn't know about my plan of suicide, thankfully they don't know. My best friend knows and doesn't want me to do it but I could never resent her.

 

[alwaystired96]

I don't speak openly about wanting to kill myself to anyone. They won't understand. They know about my sucide attempts but that's it. I resent my family for other reasons. I wish my parents were more supportive and encouraging growing up except negative. I wish my dad built my self esteem instead of tear it down. I wish they would have prepared me more for the real world and a lot of other things.

 

[suffering]

Yes. Fucking yes. I shit on all the people I know. Unsupportive assholes, every excuse is good to live for them. Fuck that guys so much, I hope they experience more pain that I'm going throught. I doubt it works, they are so fucking stupid that they would want to live anyway, but fuck them and their misery, at least my thirst of revenge would be fulfilled. Specially my family, and even more my parents. You made me, I fuck you. Idiots and stupid pro-lifers all them. I spit on all them.



Good venting, I feel satisfied by now.

Amen!!!