Resentment and anger towards attractive and friendly people

[19andOverdue]

People who are able to fit into their surroundings and thrive make me more jealous than normal. I've always been surprising that feeling throughout highschool because I wanted to be like them. I know now that my life is worthless just as theirs is. They're just able to cope and survive better, it's better than believing it's a cosmic joke being played on me

 

[Zegers]

I feel you, healthy people with a good physique also make me envious because they don't have to deal with a shitty disability, depression and anxiety, and all the problems that come with it. Its hard to go out and see everywhere people healthy and fine.

 

[Sammie]

I feel you, healthy people with a good physique also make me envious because they don't have to deal with a shitty disability, depression and anxiety, and all the problems that come with it. Its hard to go out and see everywhere people healthy and fine.

Things are not always as they seem to be....many of us show an exterior that is opposite from what is really going on with us. Unless I tell about it, nobody would imagine the physical disability I live with, though it is quite debilitating and disfiguring (hidden by clothing) plus I put out a "high energy, happy, strong" exterior but inside I am completely weak, fragile and my life is falling apart rather quickly. I get where you're coming from, but not everyone is what they appear to be.

 

[Zegers]

not everyone is what they appear

People don't have to deal with disability, depression or disabling anxiety (i mean healthy)

 

[Sammie]

People don't have to deal with disability, depression or disabling anxiety (i mean healthy)

oh I get what you're saying, I just mean that not everyone is as healthy and happy as they appear to be. Out in regular life, you would think the same about me just because of the exterior I put on, when I'm really a mess plus my physical disability can be hidden from others with clothing even though it is debilitating and disfiguring. Although, lately I've lost so much weight that I'm not looking as "healthy" anymore and people are noticing. So yeah, everything eventually takes it's toll I guess.

 

[Zegers]

oh I get what you're saying, I just mean that not everyone is as healthy and happy as they appear to be. Out in regular life, you would think the same about me just because of the exterior I put on, when I'm really a mess plus my physical disability can be hidden from others with clothing even though it is debilitating and disfiguring. Although, lately I've lost so much weight that I'm not looking as "healthy" anymore and people are noticing. So yeah, everything eventually takes it's toll I guess.

what type of disability you have?

 

[Sammie]

what type of disability you have?

colostomy, digestive motility disorders. yours?

 

[Zegers]

colostomy, digestive motility disorders. yours?

sacral agenesis, a rare birth disease

 

[Sammie]

sacral agenesis, a rare birth disease

Oh I hate that you had to live with it your life; is your sacrum underdeveloped or absent? I've never known anyone with this, but I have spina binifida (mild version) which may have been the cause of my colon dysfunction.

 

[lonelygirl111]

i get jealous too. i always look at people and wonder why i can't be them instead of me.

 

[StolenLife]

I also get jealous, altough I'm aware of the fact that it doesn't do me any good. Why are other people able to make small talk and converse normally when I struggle to utter a single word? How are they able to balance work/school with social life while doing just one of them takes everything out of me?

 

[Hope:-)]

I used to be attractive and friendly with friends, good prospects etc so yes, it is a bad reminder and though I don't hate them at all I hate what happened. It's more that I wish things were what they were.

 

[makethepainstop]

People who are able to fit into their surroundings and thrive make me more jealous than normal. I've always been surprising that feeling throughout highschool because I wanted to be like them. I know now that my life is worthless just as theirs is. They're just able to cope and survive better, it's better than believing it's a cosmic joke being played on me

I gave to say that I have feeling of say envy, not that they are somehow better than me, but envy that I don't look like them, or have their familial wealth.Kid I saw in highschool was 6'6 blond hair, blue eyes, well monied family....Seeing him used to make me want to die, because I did not get his life.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is very unfair after all and some people are simply more lucky than others in life, while many others are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. But after all, all humans have the capacity to suffer and life is unpredictable and uncertain. Many bad things could happen to those people in the future causing them to suffer a lot, and if anyone stays on this earth until old age then they will have to witness themselves deteriorate which to me is nothing to envy.

 

[Sammie]

Life is very unfair after all and some people are simply more lucky than others in life, while many others are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. But after all, all humans have the capacity to suffer and life is unpredictable and uncertain. Many bad things could happen to those people in the future causing them to suffer a lot, and if anyone stays on this earth until old age then they will have to witness themselves deteriorate which to me is nothing to envy.

Yes...I'm not "old" by any means these days but my body and life, unfortunately, have deteriorated so much in past years due to health issues, surgeries and disability. It is awful, your life changes in so many ways and the disabilities keep you from even performing your regular job anymore. And when it is well before retirement, even more unbearable as you will have to take on a lower paying job just to get by and probably will never be able to actually retire, and the physical ailments make you so exhausted. It is both physically and mentally draining and sad.

 

[Zegers]

while doing just one of them takes everything out of me?

At least you do some of those things, I sleep about 15 hours a day, no energy.