Remember how grooming used to be accepted?

[Unhirable]

Does anyone remember 6-8 years ago how common "grooming" was on the internet?

All the forums I used to visit had people around my age (at that time 14) dating people in their 20s.

And it wasn't even hidden or kept secret. It was just accepted as normal. I saw moderators doing it as well.

 

[lionetta12]

Does anyone remember 6-8 years ago how common "grooming" was on the internet?

All the forums I used to visit had people around my age (at that time 14) dating people in their 20s.

And it wasn't even hidden or kept secret. It was just accepted as normal. I saw moderators doing it as well.

When I was 15, my boyfriend was 27 years old. Nobody saw an issue with that and I found it to be weird as hell.

 

[Unhirable]

When I was 15, my boyfriend was 27 years old. Nobody saw an issue with that and I found it to be weird as hell.

Was this online or in real life? (If you do not mind answering).

I also had many adult boyfriends when I was a teenager. I also went into chatrooms looking for older guys too.
Looking back it was clearly self-harm.

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

This was a thing yes! I "fell in love" when I was 15 with a guy online. He sent me a letter and a photo via post, and begged me to come visit him. He didn't look 15 at all, yet, my parents were only upset that he was of a different race. Back then trafficking wasn't really heard of. I was extremely naive and dumb.

 

[Celerity]

Where was this normal? I live in the US and am a Millennial. I have never heard of grooming being considered normal. In fact, school, PSAs, church, TV shows, etc. all pushed the importance of "stranger danger" and creeps on the internet.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

When I was 16 (so in 2015/2016) a nearly 26 year old man starting grooming me in a friend circle by being overly friendly and eventually flirting, started dating when I was 17 and he was 26 and no one saw a problem with this, nor the fact my first time alone with him he asked me to give him a blowjob. I had never given one before, and all my friends said it was cool and how grown up I was now. People stood by and let him abuse me for years, and it was always the word of "le crazy mentally ill girl" over the charming, charismatic adult man. It makes me sick to think about.

 

[lofticries]

Disgusting. No adult should be hitting on teenagers. That is predatory af and still accepted by some in today's world. Especially when it comes to older women with lil boys. Wtf I don't care if this is a fantasy that some lil boys have there is a grown ass adult woman trying to have sex with someone underage. Predatory women should get the same treatment as predatory men.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yeah it was never considered normal as far as I know. I used to watch To Catch A Predator back in the day, which warned all about the dangers of Yahoo Messenger back in like 2006-2008. Those guys got prison sentences and have been publicly ridiculed ever since.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I still remember AOL chat rooms from the late 90's/early 2000's and people asking for your age/sex/location. As soon as I put 13/F/NC, I'd get several PMs and none of them were from teens my own age. They were almost always from grown men. Back then we were all heavily warned about internet "stranger danger" and to never give personal info. I don't remember a 14 year old dating someone in there 20's being widely accepted at any point in recent history (at least not in the US). Maybe it was in some online communities.

 

[CTB Dream]

look back history see woese, ancient even latee modern,one day history abuse norm even child teen, reality it terrible human species ,now human want look good find other way abuse

 

[makethepainstop]

When I was a teenager I was so horny, had the internet existed, I should have contacted blond dudes to find out where they were. The groomers would have become groomed. Turnabout is fair play
Run you paedophiles, run.

 

[hamvil]

I am not familiar with the term "grooming". I realise that the US are more puritan about this than Europe. In most European countries a minor (say 16) dating a person 26yo would not be a scandal, maybe even 30yo. Age of consent if 16 in many countries and in some like France there is no specific age and consent is evaluated case by case. But again I could not understand if grooming implies some sort of abuse/violence.

 

[rationaltake]

I am not familiar with the term "grooming". I realise that the US are more puritan about this than Europe. In most European countries a minor (say 16) dating a person 26yo would not be a scandal, maybe even 30yo. Age of consent if 16 in many countries and in some like France there is no specific age and consent is evaluated case by case. But again I could not understand if grooming implies some sort of abuse/violence.

Grooming is all about abuse and manipulation. Groomers deliberately gain the trust of minors in order to abuse them. Groomers often ply youngsters with gifts and swear them to secrecy to avoid being found out. Grooming has nothing to do with relationships or dating.

 

[hamvil]

Grooming is all about abuse and manipulation. Groomers deliberately gain the trust of minors in order to abuse them. Groomers often ply youngsters with gifts and swear them to secrecy to avoid being found out. Grooming has nothing to do with relationships or dating.

Ok, sorry I was not aware of this term. This is of course very bad and not acceptable in any fashion.

 

[lionetta12]

When I was 15, my boyfriend was 27 years old. Nobody saw an issue with that and I found it to be weird as hell.

I was with that guy for 7ish years in total, and honestly it's the only person that fully understood me ever in my life and it's probably the wisest person I've met. I've never experienced such a connection with anyone else. But he was abusive in the way of grooming, gaslighting and so on which is obviously not ok so I ended up leaving him. It took me quite a while to even realise the abuse he had put me through. Despite this, I do miss him every day as he is one of the only people that ever helped and supported me to improve my life and made me feel happy a couple times in the past 12 years. I just miss having that kind of connection, zero judgement and full understanding with someone.

 

[Blondi]

Disgusting. No adult should be hitting on teenagers. That is predatory af and still accepted by some in today's world. Especially when it comes to older women with lil boys. Wtf I don't care if this is a fantasy that some lil boys have there is a grown ass adult woman trying to have sex with someone underage. Predatory women should get the same treatment as predatory men.

Whats wrong with age gaps ? Why do you believe its wrong for the 40 year old women to date 15 year old men?

 

[hamvil]

Whats wrong with age gaps ? Why do you believe its wrong for the 40 year old women to date 15 year old men?

Age gap is fine until it isn't. I saw events like this on news, in my country a teacher that was 40yo had an affair with a student that was maybe 14/15yo. That is not healthy for anybody involved. Shows immaturity on the side of the teacher and can create a trauma for the boy. There is a huge disparity in power involved and this cannot be good especially if one of the party maybe cannot give informed consent.

 

[Blondi]

Shows immaturity on the side of the teacher

What immaturity?

That is not healthy for anybody involved.

Well , Macron dated his 40 year old wife when he was 15 and they look pretty fine to me.

There is a huge disparity in power

Power disparities are only wrong , if the person with power abuses it , or the lesser participant can't get consent.

if one of the party maybe cannot give informed consent.

15 year old can give consent.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Tfw no groomer gf.

 

[hamvil]

What immaturity?

A 40yo woman that has a relationship with a 15yo kid is looking for the type of emotions that a son can give not the type of relationship you can have with a peer. It means she is not able to relate with people with the same maturity level.

Well , Macron dated his 40 year old wife when he was 15 and they look pretty fine to me.

NO idea about Macron, but one exception does not make something right.

Power disparities are only wrong , if the person with power abuses it , or the lesser participant can't get consent.

Which consent can a student that is 15yo with his teacher that is 40yo? In many legislation that could qualify as rape or even pedophily.

15 year old can give consent.

Depends on the country. In Italy the age of conset is 16. In France there is none. Age gap is fine within some reasonable limits.

 

[Blondi]

A 40yo woman that has a relationship with a 15yo kid is looking for the type of emotions that a son can give not the type of relationship you can have with a peer.

What if woman just finds younger looking people more attractive ? Or they like each others personality?

It means she is not able to relate with people with the same maturity level.

15 year olds can have similar or higher IQ than older people .

Which consent can a student that is 15yo with his teacher that is 40yo? In many legislation that could qualify as rape or even pedophily.

Depends on the country. In Italy the age of conset is 16. In France there is none. Age gap is fine within some reasonable limits.

age of consent map - Google Search

www.google.com

 

[whatevs]

When I was 15, my boyfriend was 27 years old. Nobody saw an issue with that and I found it to be weird as hell.

Very fucking creepy. Are you from South America?

 

[hamvil]

What if woman just finds younger looking people more attractive ? Or they like each others personality?

You are arguing for the sake of arguing without the will to see the finer point of the argument. If you do not see the issue in a 40yo woman (or man) having a sexual and intimate relationship with a 15yo boy the problem is on you, I suggest you get checked.

15 year olds can have similar or higher IQ than older people .

maturity has nothing to do with IQ.

age of consent map - Google Search

www.google.com

The info in Italy and France are wrong.

 

[Blondi]

You are arguing for the sake of arguing without the will to see the finer point of the argument

I just have different opinion.

. If you do not see the issue in a 40yo woman (or man) having a sexual and intimate relationship with a 15yo boy the problem is on you, I suggest you get checked.

Law agrees with me .

maturity has nothing to do with IQ.

Maturity = time + IQ

The info in Italy and France are wrong.

Age of Consent by Country 2022

 

[hamvil]

I just have different opinion.yo.

No you argue in favor of a woman abusing a kid. I repeat a 40yo teacher is in a condition of power with a kid that 15yo. If you do not see this it means that you could do the same in your life as well and that makes you a dangerous person. Possibly even a rapist.

Law agrees with me .

First it depends on the country, second there is a question of morality that comes before law. You clearly lack on the morality side.

Maturity = time + IQ

You do not need to be a genius to be mature and you can be immature even at 60. However a kid at 15yo cannot have the emotional maturity to deal with a woman that is 40yo. That should be his mother or teacher, not his lover.

 

[Blondi]

No you argue in favor of a woman abusing a kid.

Nonsense .

You clearly lack on the morality side.

I am utilitarian and you cant explain the harm .

You do not need to be a genius to be mature

Yeah , but you also cant be 70 IQ and mature.

you can be immature even at 60

If you are immature at 60 , you have low IQ.

I repeat a 40yo teacher is in a condition of power with a kid that 15yo.

So is a tall person dating a short person , rich person dating poor person , etc .

However a kid at 15yo cannot have the emotional maturity to deal with a woman that is 40yo.

Emmanuel Macron - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

That should be his mother or teacher, not his lover.

Misogyny.

 

[lionetta12]

Very fucking creepy. Are you from South America?

I'm from Scandinavia.

 

[hamvil]

Nonsense .

You are a dangerous person, possibly even a narcissist.

I am utilitarian and you cant explain the harm .

Document yourself on the trauma associated with rape and abuse.

If you are immature at 60 , you have low IQ.

It is far more likely that you are too stupid to even get the meaning of this conversation.

So is a tall person dating a short person , rich person dating poor person , etc .

If a person is starving and a person with bread give it in exchange for sex that is rape and abuse in fact. Your moral compass has serious problems and I am sorry for the person around you. That said narcissist types need to change friends and loved ones quite often because people understand quickly your type.

 

[whatevs]

I'm from Scandinavia.

Very strange

 

[Blondi]

If a person is starving and a person with bread give it in exchange for sex that is rape and abuse in fact.

Are you trolling ? Comparing this to a consenting relationship is unhinged.

You are a dangerous person, possibly even a narcissist.

Document yourself on the trauma associated with rape and abuse.

It is far more likely that you are too stupid to even get the meaning of this conversation.

Your moral compass has serious problems and I am sorry for the person around you. That said narcissist types need to change friends and loved ones quite often because people understand quickly your type.

This conversation is ending , I'm afraid.