Venting Remaining alive is out of my price range. I need to muster up the guts to CTB right away before spending/borrowing anymore money to live.

[Chronicoverwhelm]

Now is the time to CTB but I am trying to muster up the courage. My senior dog passed away last week, she was my reason for living. I didn't want to CTB until after she passed away. I have also become homeless as of the start of this month. I gave up my rental because I cannot afford rent. The idea was to stop borrowing for rent and to CTB instead, depending when my dog passed.

The time is RIGHT to CTB right NOW.

I have been on disability for 4 yrs.

Another thing keeping me here is a debt owed to a dear friend that I want to pay back before I go. But it's gotten to an amount that will be impossible to pay back in full on disability and the best thing to do is CTB in order to stop borrowing for living expenses. I've been borrowing over the years, little bits here and there, that have added up, for living expenses. I am a shit show.

Now a rental opportunity has come up (I had been looking for a new place for the past 3 yrs while I still had my dog). It is almost perfect. There has been a major housing crisis in my area now, for the past few years. I've been offered the place for Nov 1st and I accepted but have not signed the lease yet. I HATE MYSELF for accepting and not having the guts to CTB instead, or at least stay homeless until I do get the courage to do it. Every dime needs to go to my friend. Mustering up the courage to CTB is what needs to happen. Help.

(I should mention that I have over 20 legitimate reasons to CTB, it's not just financial reasons)

 

[Spiritual survivor]

It is unnatural to have to force yourself to become unalive, so it's never going to be something u can just make yourself do. I'm not sure if most people do it with a completely sober mind. I don't think I could.

 

[epiousion]

How much money do you have to spend on CTB resources?

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

That sounds rough man :/ . Sorry to hear about your dog too. Pets are family. It's good to hear you are pretty set on paying your friend back. Most people I know in similar situation wouldn't prioritize that. Good on you .

I hope you are able to find peace. Just make sure to pat yourself on the back for making a genuine attempt to pay back your friend. Take care!

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

It is unnatural to have to force yourself to become unalive, so it's never going to be something u can just make yourself do. I'm not sure if most people do it with a completely sober mind. I don't think I could.

Agreed. I wish it were easier.

How much money do you have to spend on CTB resources?

I already purchased SN, so nothing more to spend hopefully unless a hotel room.

 

[sserafim]

Now is the time to CTB but I am trying to muster up the courage. My senior dog passed away last week, she was my reason for living. I didn't want to CTB until after she passed away. I have also become homeless as of the start of this month. I gave up my rental because I cannot afford rent. The idea was to stop borrowing for rent and to CTB instead, depending when my dog passed.

The time is RIGHT to CTB right NOW.

I have been on disability for 4 yrs.

Another thing keeping me here is a debt owed to a dear friend that I want to pay back before I go. But it's gotten to an amount that will be impossible to pay back in full on disability and the best thing to do is CTB in order to stop borrowing for living expenses. I've been borrowing over the years, little bits here and there, that have added up, for living expenses. I am a shit show.

Now a rental opportunity has come up (I had been looking for a new place for the past 3 yrs while I still had my dog). It is almost perfect. There has been a major housing crisis in my area now, for the past few years. I've been offered the place for Nov 1st and I accepted but have not signed the lease yet. I HATE MYSELF for accepting and not having the guts to CTB instead, or at least stay homeless until I do get the courage to do it. Every dime needs to go to my friend. Mustering up the courage to CTB is what needs to happen. Help.

(I should mention that I have over 20 legitimate reasons to CTB, it's not just financial reasons)

I hate that it costs money to live in this world. It's honestly so absurd. None of us chose to be here yet we have to pay to exist. This world is genuinely dystopian

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

That sounds rough man :/ . Sorry to hear about your dog too. Pets are family. It's good to hear you are pretty set on paying your friend back. Most people I know in similar situation wouldn't prioritize that. Good on you .

I hope you are able to find peace. Just make sure to pat yourself on the back for making a genuine attempt to pay back your friend. Take care!

Thank you
Yes, pets are family.
Thank you for your kind words.

I hate that it costs money to live in this world. It's honestly so absurd. None of us chose to be here yet we have to pay to exist. This world is genuinely dystopian

Well put and I completely agree.

 

[epiousion]

I hate that it costs money to live in this world. It's honestly so absurd. None of us chose to be here yet we have to pay to exist. This world is genuinely dystopian

This shouldn't even have to be said - but there is no reason to lock food and water behind a paywall. Anyone who disagrees either doesn't understand what they're talking about or personally benefits from people going hungry.

A fact that's always been crazy to me is there's been enough food to feed everyone on the planet for decades, and in theory there is nothing holding us back from distributing it properly. In other words, the only thing perpetuating the hunger crisis is greed.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Don't feel like u are alone, there's many of us out here just barely hanging on mainly because of the reality that it's becoming too hard to just afford to live. I'll bet thousands of us are literally in similar situations right now where we feel forced into unaliving ourselves.

 

[sserafim]

This shouldn't even have to be said - but there is no reason to lock food and water behind a paywall. Anyone who disagrees either doesn't understand what they're talking about or personally benefits from people going hungry.

A fact that's always been crazy to me is there's been enough food to feed everyone on the planet for decades, and in theory there is nothing holding us back from distributing it properly. In other words, the only thing perpetuating the hunger crisis is greed.

Literally! Food, water, and shelter should be human rights. We should all have access to these things and we shouldn't have to pay for them. I hate the fact that they cost money and our livings need to be *earned*.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish that it's more straightforward to be free from this existence, I hate how it's so difficult to die but anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[DeecyTee]

Now is the time to CTB but I am trying to muster up the courage. My senior dog passed away last week, she was my reason for living. I didn't want to CTB until after she passed away. I have also become homeless as of the start of this month. I gave up my rental because I cannot afford rent. The idea was to stop borrowing for rent and to CTB instead, depending when my dog passed.

The time is RIGHT to CTB right NOW.

I have been on disability for 4 yrs.

Another thing keeping me here is a debt owed to a dear friend that I want to pay back before I go. But it's gotten to an amount that will be impossible to pay back in full on disability and the best thing to do is CTB in order to stop borrowing for living expenses. I've been borrowing over the years, little bits here and there, that have added up, for living expenses. I am a shit show.

Now a rental opportunity has come up (I had been looking for a new place for the past 3 yrs while I still had my dog). It is almost perfect. There has been a major housing crisis in my area now, for the past few years. I've been offered the place for Nov 1st and I accepted but have not signed the lease yet. I HATE MYSELF for accepting and not having the guts to CTB instead, or at least stay homeless until I do get the courage to do it. Every dime needs to go to my friend. Mustering up the courage to CTB is what needs to happen. Help.

(I should mention that I have over 20 legitimate reasons to CTB, it's not just financial reasons)

I understand, I've been selfishly taking money too and I'm sure I'll be homeless soon. I think the time to CBT is a kind of impulsive one. It will come when it comes.