Religious users: how do you reconcile your suicide with your faith?

[Sphinxi]

As preparation for my suicide, I have been writing a series of notes, one to my campus rabbi. He and I aren't particularly close, but I am confessing to him that I had never really believed. In addition, I am also trying to justify my suicide on religious grounds.

If we are all here to serve a purpose set forth by G-d, what purpose do the suicidal serve? I think that maybe we show his glory by demonstrating that the pain of the world is such that it is too much for some people to bear, and that this demonstration is part of G-d's plan for the suicidal.

So I ask users of faith: how do you square your suicide with your religion?

 

[itsgone2]

Ultimately I can't. God will decide. Can God explain why my life is this tortuous? Why it was allowed to go so bad? Why I was made the way I was? It's all tragic and I'll never understand it and I wish it would just go away

 

[Sphinxi]

Ultimately I can't. God will decide. Can God explain why my life is this tortuous? Why it was allowed to go so bad? Why I was made the way I was? It's all tragic and I'll never understand it and I wish it would just go away

It's ultimately out of our control, but I earnestly do hope that if he is real, that I do understand after I die. I do think that our lives being torturous serves some purpose, if he exists

 

[Chabrychek]

Only faith stops me from committing suicide.. I want to be with God after death, and everything points to suicide being a grave sin. I really don't know what to do..

 

[Sphinxi]

Only faith stops me from committing suicide.. I want to be with God after death, and everything points to suicide being a grave sin. I really don't know what to do..

Suicide is a sin, but I think typically it is alieved by the following things:
-often times a person is mentally ill or on drugs, and here we can say that illness killed them, not themselves
-when a person commits suicide, there is often a moment after they will surely die, but before they actually die, in this moment a person can regret it or otherwise reach out for forgiveness
Have you ever talked to your rabbi (or equivalent) about this?

 

[metfan647]

If you don't believe, as you claim to in your original post (assuming you mean in the celestial dictator), why would you need to justify anything to your rabbi or rationalise your decision on 'religious grounds'?

Why square anything with your religion? You have no religion if you don't believe. Arguably you also have none if you're sitting on the fence. You're free...

*Typo edit

 

[Sphinxi]

If you don't believe, as you claim to in your original post (assuming you mean in the cestial dictator), why would you need to justify anything to your rabbi or rationalise your decision on 'religious grounds'?

Why square anything with your religion? You have no religion if you don't believe. Arguably you also have none if you're sitting on the fence. You're free...

I am pretty confident that a G-d exists but I don't believe in any particular religion despite my wanting to. Despite that, my religious practice was pretty important to me. I guess I was more rationalizing it as a thought exercise, and because despite not really believing my religion used to be something that I oriented my life around