Venting Relationship Jealousy

[EternalShore]

50% of my classes are engaged, married, and/or have children~ That and sports/food (yay~ more things I hate!) are like 90% of everything they talk about, so it's not like I'm going to be starting any relationships anytime soon~ :/ How the heck am I expected to live like this is just all normal and stuff? :///
I know that many of you don't care about any of that (especially the children part), but personally, I NEED ALL of that (even just to stay sane and not rot in continuous jealousy and agony), and yet I receive not even a drop of hope it'll happen anytime soon~ :/
and yet I'm expected to just deal with it, watch everyone else be happy, while I'm just miserable in a corner and shut up about it~ oooo~ If you're not happy, it's probably the classes and degree you're taking, not the fact that everyone else has everything you want, and you don't get squat! >:( "Focus on your education first~" :ppp
I'd be happy cleaning toilets for a living if I just was married with kids~ heck~ I've already had a job doing that for $2 an hour~ xD unfortunately, I wasn't mentally fit to go for another round of it~ Fun fact: it's not my fault I'm not mentally fit for it. It's society's fault! If I could get the things I need, I could actually be happy and be able to be everything everyone else wants me to be. Probably is that they're not supplying and until they can, I can't do anything~ :/
All this relationship stuff is RATRED tbh~ It's like you gotta improve yourself, figure yourself out, get a proper job, become mentally stable, etc. before you can do it, but I just can't until I get it~ People don't want to be with someone terminally depressed~ the thing is~ I wouldn't be terminally depressed with someone I could actually see every day!
but all that is just me coping tbh~ :( I see it happening all this time with people who don't have that but NEVER to me! I'm hopeless~ :( No one likes me, and I don't even know why~ :( I suppose it's because I don't fit society's roles as set out for me by my birth. >:(

 

[Rational man]

You say ' no one likes me'. Do you think some people pick up on this and back off?, just saying really..But to he honest, comparing yourself to others is not the same as following your own heart's calling. I used to wonder why I was alone for so long and then both my relationships happened out of the blue. Both have ended now. Im sorry to hear about situation and I wish you wellness.

 

[EternalShore]

You say ' no one likes me'. Do you think some people pick up on this and back off?, just saying really..But to he honest, comparing yourself to others is not the same as following your own heart's calling. I used to wonder why I was alone for so long and then both my relationships happened out of the blue. Both have ended now. Im sorry to hear about situation and I wish you wellness.

It's possible that that is the case, yes~ but that just makes me even more inside an absolutely awful position with the loop I described~ :( because no one wants to be with me, I am depressed~ Because I am depressed, no one wants to be with me~ :((( and I'm kind and do as much for others as I can, but they clearly just suck it all in and never give me anything in return~ :( and yeah, I completely agree! That's why I NEED to get married and have kids after all! That is what I NEED~ Everyone else seems to just drift along while trying to get a job and stumble into things~ This is what I NEED and my lack of it is what's driving me insane~ >_< I can't sit around getting a job~ I don't care at all about that~ Someone could get rich from this stuff, and I wouldn't care~ And I wouldn't even care if I succeeded or not~ This is the only thing I've needed for years and years, and yet it's exactly what's out of reach~ Horrid tbh~ >:( It's now to the point where everyone EXCEPT me is getting it for crying out loud! I'm not doing it because I'm comparing myself to others~ This is what I dream of and yet everyone except me gets it! >:(
I'm sorry that they've ended for you~

 

[Rational man]

You sound like a really smart person, in touch with feelings..I.hope one day your wishes of love ajd marriage come true.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I spend a lot of time envying others (hence my name) for not just relationships, but friendships. It's an endless cycle of being too depressed to be friends with others so they reject you, and yet you're supposed to put yourself out there. For other people, it seems so easy and they tell you that it's confidence, etc. I don't think they realize that they're lucky, whether it's because they were treated well enough early in life to have confidence, or were blessed to be attractive or had the opportunity to go to a good school and get a great, fulfilling job that made them appear happier and thus more desirable.

One of my sisters got married, the other one is getting married soon. My friends from school all are married and everyone I know at work has a girlfriend or is married as well. But they're not depressed. They're not lonely. They're not awkward or shy. People only want happy people, and I don't blame them for it, but it still sucks.

When you're depressed and lonely, people can tell, and they don't want to be around you. I've spent my whole life being rejected for relationships and have come to the conclusion that those who are broken are to remain broken and stay out of everyone else's way.

I don't know what you're supposed to do. The solution people give is to "just try". But that just leads to an endless cycle of rejection. How many times before someone takes a chance on you? How long does it last? Is it even worth it? Because the worst part is too, that once you hit a certain age you're expected to have had experience with relationships, and if you don't then that's off-putting to everyone. So I guess the cycle just continues... Everyone else gets to live on in their merry way while a few poor souls dejectedly watch from the shadows, glum and envious, wondering what they're missing but nobody tells them what.

How cruel it is that for many people the solution to them not being depressed is a relationship or a few friends. Yet because they're depressed people don't want to be with them.

 

[ebsyyy]

Hey man,

I know you might think I'm just saying this to make you feel better, but it's the relationships I've had that's driven me to here, while I have friends that have never been with anyone but that are perfectly content with their lives. I know the grass might seem greener but my past 2 relationships have driven me near to CTB because both times I've watched the woman I love fall out of love with me and then abruptly end it suddenly.

People can tell when someone is desperate for a relationship and it's the number one thing that will drive them away. I promise once you stop caring and stop looking, something will fall into place for you, and the pain you might have to go through might be a completely different one, or it'll truly be good.

Hope all works out.

 

[EternalShore]

I spend a lot of time envying others (hence my name) for not just relationships, but friendships. It's an endless cycle of being too depressed to be friends with others so they reject you, and yet you're supposed to put yourself out there. For other people, it seems so easy and they tell you that it's confidence, etc. I don't think they realize that they're lucky, whether it's because they were treated well enough early in life to have confidence, or were blessed to be attractive or had the opportunity to go to a good school and get a great, fulfilling job that made them appear happier and thus more desirable.

One of my sisters got married, the other one is getting married soon. My friends from school all are married and everyone I know at work has a girlfriend or is married as well. But they're not depressed. They're not lonely. They're not awkward or shy. People only want happy people, and I don't blame them for it, but it still sucks.

When you're depressed and lonely, people can tell, and they don't want to be around you. I've spent my whole life being rejected for relationships and have come to the conclusion that those who are broken are to remain broken and stay out of everyone else's way.

I don't know what you're supposed to do. The solution people give is to "just try". But that just leads to an endless cycle of rejection. How many times before someone takes a chance on you? How long does it last? Is it even worth it? Because the worst part is too, that once you hit a certain age you're expected to have had experience with relationships, and if you don't then that's off-putting to everyone. So I guess the cycle just continues... Everyone else gets to live on in their merry way while a few poor souls dejectedly watch from the shadows, glum and envious, wondering what they're missing but nobody tells them what.

How cruel it is that for many people the solution to them not being depressed is a relationship or a few friends. Yet because they're depressed people don't want to be with them.

literally! >_< aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I've suffered from the same curse. :( like~ dude~ I can be just as happy as them if you spend like 1 week with me! >_< but no one except me is allowed to even have the potential of spending any second possibly wasted ever! :/// Meanwhile, the last 6 years of my life have all been pain, torture, and wasted time~ :(((

People can tell when someone is desperate for a relationship and it's the number one thing that will drive them away. I promise once you stop caring and stop looking, something will fall into place for you, and the pain you might have to go through might be a completely different one, or it'll truly be good.

Thank you. I've heard of this before too myself. And it's rather exactly why I'm not going to be able to get with anybody. As stated before, I will NEVER stop caring (in fact, it's the only thing that even matters in my life anymore), and I can try to hide it all I want, but I know it's as clear as day. Anyways, I'm sorry that your relationships failed so miserably for you~ :( I'm aware that relationships can go super wrong too, but well... Having children is the last hope I have of being happy, so it's a pre-requisite~ In fact, I expect, barring a miracle, for a relationship that I get into to be absolutely miserable for me (having to pretend to be something I'm not constantly)~ :( but this is kinda where my life ends too~ If this fails, well... It just sucks that I've been quite literally forbidden from seeing the results for soooo long! :/ but if I do get a relationship, I'll finally be onto the next step and won't have to even acknowledge all the insufferable college students anymore! >_<

 

[BlazingBob]

Everyone else gets to live on in their merry way while a few poor souls dejectedly watch from the shadows, glum and envious, wondering what they're missing but nobody tells them what.

I know what I'm missing. I always wanted a partner and family of my own but physical and mental illness got in the way. I'm almost 52 and have never had a real relationship. I've had lots of mini ones but never one where marriage was an actual prospect. Not even close. I've never been stable enough. That and my propensity for choosing emotionally unavailable partners. Now I'm too sick physically to even think about it. People live their lives while I sit and rot.

 

[EternalShore]

I know what I'm missing. I always wanted a partner and family of my own but physical and mental illness got in the way. I'm almost 52 and have never had a real relationship. I've had lots of mini ones but never one where marriage was an actual prospect. Not even close. I've never been stable enough. That and my propensity for choosing emotionally unavailable partners. Now I'm too sick physically to even think about it. People live their lives while I sit and rot.

relatable~ :( I'm so sorry that's happened to you~ >_< you've been strong~ I would end my life far before how long you put up with it for! >_<

 

[lamargue]

i'm the same. i can't do anything to help it, really. it's only natural that i should envy others for what i don't have, and never will have. i wouldn't say i'm desperate to have a relationship: i don't want to be in a position where i would need to beg, or anything. relationships to me just indicate a general level of social functionality. so my desire to have one is built upon my desire to live a fulfilling life.

now that i think about it, maybe it's simply because relationships are a final step in achieving full social integration, at least from my view. i wouldn't be able to enter one without first improving my general quality of life, getting a job, education, etc., since there's naturally no desire for others to invest in something which materially yields a minimum. it relates to the entire gamut of desirable social traits, as well. if i were to begin dating someone, it would be like a relationship between a human and alien.

 

[EternalShore]

i wouldn't say i'm desperate to have a relationship: i don't want to be in a position where i would need to beg, or anything.

unfortunately, I've been told that when you want to do that, people can tell, and reject you even faster! >:( so good ideas for you in regards to that ig~ xD Unfortunately, due to my entire life revolving around it, well... >_< all the worse for me ig! :(((
hehe~ I've never thought of it that way~ My parents are married and haven't had any friends for the longest time, so ig, that may be why I don't see it that way~ but yeah, being able to get into a relationship is certainly a sign you can exist well in society as you said! hehe~