Venting relapsing

[keiangel1]

every time i think that im recovered something goes wrong and i go straight back to where i started. burst out into tears in front of people im going to have to see everyday for the next year and a half. i wanna kill myself. well not really. i'm probably just gonna cut myself again

 

[yotaka]

I'm sorry, friend. Please say more if you'd like. I may not be able to offer any substantial help, but I'll at least read what you write.

 

[raikko]

every time i think that im recovered something goes wrong and i go straight back to where i started. burst out into tears in front of people im going to have to see everyday for the next year and a half. i wanna kill myself. well not really. i'm probably just gonna cut myself again

I hope you're ok and i'm sorry that happened to you too!! saying this after i lost control of my emotions and got really mad at my friends for a complete non-issue, i think i ruined another long friendship! I feelexactly like this as well

 

[liquid-crystal daze]

I'm sorry, I've been in the same place. I hope you're doing alright. I think if you could, you should hold off on going back until you're in a less dizzying headspace. Crying in front of other people is awkward and embarrassing and I don't think it's ever gonna be less awkward and embarrassing, but everybody's seen somebody cry before and everybody has so much going on with themselves, it probably wasn't a big deal to them. That doesn't change how it felt for you, but it might change how you feel going back. Also, if you're still using more accessible devices like razors, have you considered tossing them? I know from experience that it doesn't kill the urge but it makes relapsing much harder, and the more time you give yourself the easier it becomes to calm these urges.