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distintivocorazon

distintivocorazon

Member
Mar 14, 2024
8
One thing I struggle with is self harm. I've been addicted for years. Moving to a new environment made me quit for a while. But when you ache for something you've longed for it's like you can't let go. I am ashamed but my relapse was so comforting. The same tingly feeling I had on my body made me feel young again and free. I have therapy tomorow and want to bring this up but we've been on the talk about hospitalization and I do not want to go through that torture again.
 
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LaVieEnRose

Illuminated
Jul 23, 2022
3,401
What have you been talking about on the topic of hospitalization? What does your therapist think?

It's completely lame that people can't feel they are able to honest with their therapists because the fear of hospitalization always looms over their head.

Relapses are normal. You don't have to view them as a complete reset.
 
distintivocorazon

distintivocorazon

Member
Mar 14, 2024
8
What have you been talking about on the topic of hospitalization? What does your therapist think?

It's completely lame that people can't feel they are able to honest with their therapists because the fear of hospitalization always looms over their head.

Relapses are normal. You don't have to view them as a complete reset.
Well, the other day during one of my classes I almost passed out & my mom had a whole spasm over. My on campus counselor spoke with my mom & my mom brought this whole situation to her. I mentioned to her how I was also feeling much more suicidal lately which she spoke to me about her concerns,

She says that my self harm at the moment is nothing to hospitalize over, it's more or so the fact that as I'm cutting myself, I'm doing it with the intention of killing myself. Back to the situation that just happened, tomorow she wants to have a genuine talk about what she thinks I should do or what's best for me. I want to get help & get better but the anxiety rushes over me and I feel like I cant tell her because she already has an input I don't want her do like almost change that input? Me and my therapist have always had a deep connection since i've had her for years now and I see her as a mother so it's hard for my words to come out at times.
 
Lake

Lake

Member
Dec 4, 2023
12
As someone else has said, relapse does not equal reset.

I've relapsed tonight(alcohol) and are very aware of all of the progress already made.

Having gone through the 'help' offered by society, I, greatly, empathize with your feelings of hesitancy in sharing.

All I can say is that I, and others on this site, understand you-- we're with you.

You're not alone.
 
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LaVieEnRose

Illuminated
Jul 23, 2022
3,401
Well, the other day during one of my classes I almost passed out & my mom had a whole spasm over. My on campus counselor spoke with my mom & my mom brought this whole situation to her. I mentioned to her how I was also feeling much more suicidal lately which she spoke to me about her concerns,

She says that my self harm at the moment is nothing to hospitalize over, it's more or so the fact that as I'm cutting myself, I'm doing it with the intention of killing myself. Back to the situation that just happened, tomorow she wants to have a genuine talk about what she thinks I should do or what's best for me. I want to get help & get better but the anxiety rushes over me and I feel like I cant tell her because she already has an input I don't want her do like almost change that input? Me and my therapist have always had a deep connection since i've had her for years now and I see her as a mother so it's hard for my words to come out at times.
Then I guess you could try being honest with your therapist about your relapse and make sure to emphasize that you're not in danger of CTB and how harmful being hospitalized would be for you.
 
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