Anyone thought of recovery, or is there anyone chosing to give life a chance so far?
I'm more worried that the comfort I find here will distract me until life gets catastrophically worse.
This site is intellectual opium. The pain is dulled and the world slips away just enough to not matter quite as much. But nothing actually changes.
This site is intellectual opium. The pain is dulled and the world slips away just enough to not matter quite as much. But nothing actually changes.
The only way I would recover is if I was admitted into some type of long term treatment for borderline personality disorder. But I can't afford it and feel like my only option is to end my life. I can't make any relationships work let alone hold onto formal employment. I'm just tired of being miserable and alone in life.
That's so accurate about this site. Doesn't solve anything but u feel less alone in your misery. You can certainly get some help with methods to help u exit.
Because you are surrounded by people who know what you are going through. Let me know if theres anyone I can help before you make a descion !Quote...im not pro life but pro try as hard as you can before
The conflict I'm wrestling with now is that I have my method all planned and as reliable as I can make it --but I'm still hanging around here. I admit: I'm afraid of ctb. But when I look at my situation rationally, I know it's time to go.
Well said, and kindly offered. I think I would describe myself in the same way, and I hope I might be of some use to someone in that fashion.
Maybe if you are unsure its a sign you should wait....you can ALWAYS end your life...but who knows if theres a second chance. If someone is sure no fear or pain would stop them...they are desperate enough to jump or end their life asap. Theres a voice in your head saying theres some meaning and hope, wait it out a bit
Made4TV
A hopeless hope junkie
- Sep 17, 2018
- 574
My doctor and therapist both think there is a lot of hope for recovery for me with lots of therapy and hard work. I've got the hard work covered, but I can't afford to live and get the therapy I need. So I hang on for now trying last ditch things (looking into bankruptcy next week).
That's what stopped me in April, and it turned out to be the wrong decision. But... I can only work with what I've got. If I can go, I'll go; if it feels more right to stay, I'll stay.
As I myself have assured people here: it's a very big, very final decision, and if it can be delayed without worsening your situation, it is better to do so.
Going Home
Specialist
- Sep 21, 2018
- 357
I'm kinda day to day. Today there's a reason to delay my ctb, to drag people into court.
I feel like I need to sue people, or at least attempt, for what is being done to me. It would be a personal victory for me, THEN I will rest easy.
I've had some evil and pathetic doctors but this doctor named Dan out of NY frankly needs to be beat within a an inch of life as well as others who are doing sneaky shit in my name in court.
These are all very bad people and I DO NOT have a lawyer so it won't be easy but again I feel it's something I must try to stand up for myself.
Tomorrow I may feel different but as of tonight that's the plan.
It goes day to day.. tipping point for me is losing my job and self-realization of how empty my life is. I'm still doing my job search but there is 1% chance that i'll get my career back on track. It still doesn't solve 90% other issues like no significant other, not many friends, and just a social outcast in NY. I've confessed my sordid backstory on another thread so i don't want to keep repeating myself. The boredom i feel day to day is overbearing and i think if I CTB, I will finally find peace.
@Kitsunefox have you had a change of heart? It's too bad that you took down your beautiful pics...
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,813
Same here, this site is like a sanctuary from the mess of the real world and the bullshit that goes around. I actually feel relaxed and calm while browsing through this site because of like minded people here.
worldexploder
Visionary
- Sep 19, 2018
- 2,821
I stopped giving life a chance years ago. Hope followed by devastation each and every time. My life was actually worse when I tried to better myself. The world didn't treat me too kindly.
longingforrelease
Specialist
- Oct 27, 2018
- 381
I guess I've basically given up on the hope that I will ever get over the loss of my family, job, position in society, and all the other things that made my life so fulfilling (and the overwhelming feelings of shame, remorse, humiliation and loss because of the terrible things I did that cost me my family, job, position, etc.) But I feel compelled to say something based on my experience. For those of us here because of alcoholism or addiction I do strongly recommend giving a recovery program a chance. I know that AA doesn't work for everyone. But I got sober in AA and the life sobriety gave me was wonderful. I've seen it work wonders in many people's lives. People who had caused so much trouble in their own and others' lives have been able to recover and lead good, happy and fulfilling lives. As I say, it clearly does not work for everyone, but if drugs and/or alcohol is what brings you here, you might consider giving AA or NA a shot. Hope that doesn't come off as pro-life bullshit, just offering a message of hope.
Paulsmith
Student
- Aug 8, 2018
- 188
No I won't be able to give life another go . Death is the only way forward
I think there is a chance for recovery. it depends on a lot of things. If you also think there is a chance, go for it. If it doesn't work out you always have a fallback solution. You would know more than anyone else whether to keep trying or not.
Personally I'm only alive because of my dog and a handful of family members that keep texting me. I don't want to ruin their holidays by ctb. I don't know what'll happen past that.
Personally I'm only alive because of my dog and a handful of family members that keep texting me. I don't want to ruin their holidays by ctb. I don't know what'll happen past that.
I've been giving life a chance for the last 16 years. I found myself on these forums. See how well it worked out. I never had a chance, but I was too dumb and too much of a coward to admit it.
I was afraid of being discovered here just in case things get better
Rocky M
I'm A Monster
- Jun 20, 2018
- 213
I did at one point, but unfortunately, I can't see it anymore.
Unfortunately I've never enjoyed my life. I've only made friends out of desperation, hate any type of work (everything now feels like work), and have chronic back pain. Maybe if I had a loving family that I enjoyed being around it would have made it all worth doing. But nope I never had that either! Unfortunately fundamental "privileges" that most people actually require to be healthy and stable have been non-existent for me. Just a sad, unfortunate life that crippled me invisibly from the start. At least I feel better not pretending I want to be alive anymore.
Well, in the last three years I tried
-27 different medications
-Exercising everiday
-Therapy
-Meditation
-Making new friends
-Motivational videos/miracle solutions you find online
-Eating healthy
-Getting a pet
-Trying to hold on with no reason hoping things will get better someway
-Various hobbies
-Self medicating with substance abuse (wich, believe it or not, is the thing that contributed the most to the fact I'm still alive)
aaaaaaand things are worse than when it all started. I fucking quit
-27 different medications
-Exercising everiday
-Therapy
-Meditation
-Making new friends
-Motivational videos/miracle solutions you find online
-Eating healthy
-Getting a pet
-Trying to hold on with no reason hoping things will get better someway
-Various hobbies
-Self medicating with substance abuse (wich, believe it or not, is the thing that contributed the most to the fact I'm still alive)
aaaaaaand things are worse than when it all started. I fucking quit
