Discussion reasons to stay alive made me want to die even more

[ctb★prince]

im tired of these motivational posts bc theyre always so binary and im so desperate for individual help, just saw a post after a failed attempt and if i werent so tired id try again, some of the reasons they listed were fine but got totally overshadowed by:
1. It's something your parents will never
get over
2. Itl destroy your siblings
3. Itll destroy your best firiends
4. Everyone will miss you
5. Your pets will be lost without you
8. Give it time to get better, because it will
9. Help other people
45. You matter
46. You are important
47. You are not worthless
48, You make other people happy
49. You are never truly alone
50. Making new friends
51. People do care about you
53. You have so much potential
57. Receiving hug
58. Receiving Kisses
among others
why wont people who want to help get it through their thick heads that although these are positive and cute in many cases theyre the very reason or are linked to our reasons that make us want to commit in the first place, im so flustrated

 

[iwanttoleave2000]

pro lifers are like flat earthers or any of those other dumb beliefs lol. they make grandiose statements that they think are profound but are predicated on baseless assumptions.

 

[FuneralCry]

I cannot stand toxic positivity like that, I find it hard to take it seriously, people should just be able to die on their own terms if they want to and they have every right to, I hate how there is a lack of acceptance towards that fact.

 

[Seered Doom]

Toxic positivity kills more than anything.

 

[Lydia12]

im tired of these motivational posts bc theyre always so binary and im so desperate for individual help, just saw a post after a failed attempt and if i werent so tired id try again, some of the reasons they listed were fine but got totally overshadowed by:
1. It's something your parents will never
get over
2. Itl destroy your siblings
3. Itll destroy your best firiends
4. Everyone will miss you
5. Your pets will be lost without you
8. Give it time to get better, because it will
9. Help other people
45. You matter
46. You are important
47. You are not worthless
48, You make other people happy
49. You are never truly alone
50. Making new friends
51. People do care about you
53. You have so much potential
57. Receiving hug
58. Receiving Kisses
among others
why wont people who want to help get it through their thick heads that although these are positive and cute in many cases theyre the very reason or are linked to our reasons that make us want to commit in the first place, im so flustrated

well people who try to motivate with this really think this is helpful

 

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

It irritates me to no end when people, who do not know me or barely know me, say "You have so much to live for"
If you actually knew me or have been in my life the last few years then you would know that I have lost EVERYTHING and I have absolutely nothing to live for.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, most (if not almost all) those reasons that pro-lifers list to stay alive for are trite. It is indeed toxic positivity and I oftenly try to tune them out when I see it in public, especially in places where they really promote life as some gift.

 

[Seered Doom]

The gift I want to return to its sender

 

[Harrow]

These motivational posts always lack nuance, no matter how well intentioned. They are so presumptuous about what situation you're in. It makes me so unreasonably angry as a suicidal person when I read them.

That's why I like the recovery forum on this site. People are in similar situations and truly understand why someone would want to die, but can still provide a more nuanced take on positivity if someone wants it.

 

[jussrav]

It irritates me to no end when people, who do not know me or barely know me, say "You have so much to live for"
If you actually knew me or have been in my life the last few years then you would know that I have lost EVERYTHING and I have absolutely nothing to live for.

Yea. They say be happy, watch movies. Right if it wasnt so difficult I would. Ended up blocking them because they are all well and well I am not.

 

[Seered Doom]

The worst advice I keep getting is "go outside and do chores". That's not gonna make me happy. It'll make someone else happy, but I still would be depressed

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Many of the first reasons are just guilt tripping you to stay alive not valid reasons at all despite I actually feel the same way that I can´t ctb because I don´t want to ruin my parents life but for others to say it they are just guilting you to stay alive for others which is very wrong.

And the rest are just virtue signaling they often don´t know you so how would they know you matter, are important, or not worthless don´t they think we know the truth of this? All of these things are so empty it seems like NPC responses like in a video game where the NPC character just keep repeating the same line over and over without doing more it´s not like these people are thinking you´re so important and matter so much they know wanna be friends with you oh no you´re not that important they just wanna feel good about themselves by thinking to themselves "I did a difference" or "I saved a life" you are literally worthless to them the only worth you have to them is that you can boost their ego in that situation by them feeling like they did a good deed.

 

[DumbGirl]

Maybe I didn't read well but on that list there nothing that really talk about your feelings. I mean what you can do to recovery and be happy with your life but instead it makes you feel guilty about your family and your friends if you go
"1. It's something your parents will never
get over
2. Itl destroy your siblings
3. Itll destroy your best firiends"
I think it's quite manupulative and selfish and ignorant
it's not something that can be treat/heal/disappear with a smile.

 

[Suicidal Ideation]

im tired of these motivational posts bc theyre always so binary and im so desperate for individual help, just saw a post after a failed attempt and if i werent so tired id try again, some of the reasons they listed were fine but got totally overshadowed by:
1. It's something your parents will never
get over
2. Itl destroy your siblings
3. Itll destroy your best firiends
4. Everyone will miss you
5. Your pets will be lost without you
8. Give it time to get better, because it will
9. Help other people
45. You matter
46. You are important
47. You are not worthless
48, You make other people happy
49. You are never truly alone
50. Making new friends
51. People do care about you
53. You have so much potential
57. Receiving hug
58. Receiving Kisses
among others
why wont people who want to help get it through their thick heads that although these are positive and cute in many cases theyre the very reason or are linked to our reasons that make us want to commit in the first place, im so flustrated

pro-lifers when life isn't sunshines and rainbows for everyone at some point in their life

 

[passivethought121]

They always makes me feel like shit. My suffering is stuck with my mind and it doesn't care how much good is in my life. Seeing motivational posts makes me feel like I'm a horrible ingrate for wanting to die and I should just stick through the misery just to benefit everyone else. Might be cynical of me but it sounds like a bit of a ploy to keep the working man productive, or at least have the possibility to. "It gets better eventually" and when is that? In 5 years? 10? 20? Spent about a third of my life being depressed and that fraction will only get higher if I stick around solely to wait for the eventuality.

 

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

Yea. They say be happy, watch movies. Right if it wasnt so difficult I would. Ended up blocking them because they are all well and well I am not.

I hate the "just gotta think positive" "it's all in your head/mindset"

 

[jussrav]

I hate the "just gotta think positive" "it's all in your head/mindset"

Only you can change your life. Yes I know that ots me but then why am I finding it so damn hard.

 

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

Only you can change your life. Yes I know that ots me but then why am I finding it so damn hard.

My life is already over anyway. I don't have time for a "do-over" I have had Cirrhosis since 2018 and just quit drinking a year ago...and just started again today. My family doesn't speak to me (not even ONE person), husband is publicly humiliating me at EVERY given opportunity. I don't feel safe even showering with lights on or changing in my bedroom. I can't leave him because I have nowhere to go and no way to support myself if I did.
Let the "positivity police" spend one week in my shoes and see how those "happy thoughts" are working for them.

 

[ctb★prince]

glad to see people criticizing the original post, i was afraid that everyone would just keep praising op, i hope they learn and dont post things like this again, still annoyed though <\\\3

 

[nicali845]

im 39 now and iv been suicidal etc for over 20 odd years, i thought those things were true then n kept going but so many bad things happened again n again now after all these years i look and say there is no way do i wana spend another year feeling like this never mind another 20 im done

 

[gorgongrl]

there's so much of this going round atm with it being 'suicide prevention month' (which is a pretty ridiculous sentiment anyway) and I'm so tired of seeing the same live for a better tomorrow rhetoric. I don't believe in enduring a life of mostly painful and exhausting experiences for the few and far between moments of happiness I can find.
I appreciate a portion of people who make those kind of posts have themselves struggled with suicidality and/or mental health, but I've never seen one that has actually made me lose my desire to ctb. They're just blanket statements that don't help and often include the exact reasons for people choosing to ctb, and are particularly insensitive to those with terminal or chronic conditions.
I think it just enforces the idea that all suicidal people are just having a bad day/sequence of days and just need to stick it out long enough to be happy; this forum is proof enough against that.
At best they're well intentioned but unhelpful nuisance posts, at worst they're pro-life propaganda guilting people into questioning the peace they have chosen for themselves.
It's a reminder at least that I don't want to discuss my suicidal urges with anyone outside of this forum, if someone said those things to me in person it would feel so dismissive and patronising. I'm sure they get a lot of feel good points making those posts though

 

[sserafim]

Same, I don't know why people just don't understand. Especially the fact that one of the so-called "reasons to stay alive" is actively making me suicidal. My parents and their expectations literally contribute to my thoughts and ideation, but people are like "oh your family's gonna miss you so much if you die". Lol nope, they are one of the leading causes for my ctb. They wouldn't care at all, which is why I haven't told them that I'm feeling this way. I haven't told anyone in fact, only people on here.

I think my dog would be sad but the rest of my family honestly wouldn't care. They're just mad about the fact that I'm a failure and that I haven't made something out of myself. They're mad that I don't have a job or a career. No one actually cares about me and I'm a case of wasted potential. I'm literally a failure, I've failed at life and adulting…

Only you can change your life. Yes I know that ots me but then why am I finding it so damn hard.

Same, I think that there are more factors at play than simply us. I think that luck and fate/destiny are involved as well…if we never had the opportunity for something due to our bad luck and the hand we were dealt with then we naturally wouldn't have the ability to do that or change our life in that way. I think everything is a matter of chance and serendipity, some people are in the right place at the right time, others like me are never…

It irritates me to no end when people, who do not know me or barely know me, say "You have so much to live for"
If you actually knew me or have been in my life the last few years then you would know that I have lost EVERYTHING and I have absolutely nothing to live for.

LITERALLY! I have nothing to live for

 

[ToniFoxGirl!!]

so many pro life people love to tell me bullshit like, 'oh you deserve to be happy and whole' 'oh there's no much to live for' 'people care about you' it's so fucking annoying. I'm glad I'm not the only person who feels this way

 

[sserafim]

I hate the "just gotta think positive" "it's all in your head/mindset"

Same! As if it were that easy. I wish it were, but in reality it's not. They try to gaslight us into "thinking positive" and telling us that it's "just in your head", but that's not true. Thinking positive will not make a bad situation better, it doesn't change the state of the bad situation. "Thinking positive" and "changing my mindset" will not get rid of my adhd and other conditions. They're literally chronic, life-long problems

They always makes me feel like shit. My suffering is stuck with my mind and it doesn't care how much good is in my life. Seeing motivational posts makes me feel like I'm a horrible ingrate for wanting to die and I should just stick through the misery just to benefit everyone else. Might be cynical of me but it sounds like a bit of a ploy to keep the working man productive, or at least have the possibility to. "It gets better eventually" and when is that? In 5 years? 10? 20? Spent about a third of my life being depressed and that fraction will only get higher if I stick around solely to wait for the eventuality.

Same, they just want to keep us here so that we can be cogs in the capitalist wheel. They want us to stay alive so we can keep working until we eventually die. They just see us as another worker/resource that can be exploited and profited off of. I hate the fact that society regards people as labor, as if the only meaning to our existence is to be productive under capitalism.

I refuse to be a part of this system. I hate our late stage capitalistic society

 

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

And people saying that suicidal thoughts aren't "normal".....
Who set the bar for "normal"?
My upbringing wasn't "normal", having parents that couldn't care less about my well being wasn't the "Norm"
Luckily I was dropped at my grandparents house before my mother disappeared for years. My grandma was the ONLY person that ever cared (possibly loved) about me. We were SO close. I used to see her 4-5days a week on top of working a 60-80hr work week. When she got sick, my dad and aunt, and uncle were the only ones allowed to see her. They even told me not to call her. Finally called her hospital room after 4 days of not talking to her. She died 5hours after we hung up
That day was not only the end of her life; it was the end of mine as well.

 

[jussrav]

Same, I don't know why people just don't understand. Especially the fact that one of the so-called "reasons to stay alive" is actively making me suicidal. My parents and their expectations literally contribute to my thoughts and ideation, but people are like "oh your family's gonna miss you so much if you die". Lol nope, they are one of the leading causes for my ctb. They wouldn't care at all, which is why I haven't told them that I'm feeling this way. I haven't told anyone in fact, only people on here.

I think my dog would be sad but the rest of my family honestly wouldn't care. They're just mad about the fact that I'm a failure and that I haven't made something out of myself. They're mad that I don't have a job or a career. No one actually cares about me and I'm a case of wasted potential. I'm literally a failure, I've failed at life and adulting…

Same, I think that there are more factors at play than simply us. I think that luck and fate/destiny are involved as well…if we never had the opportunity for something due to our bad luck and the hand we were dealt with then we naturally wouldn't have the ability to do that or change our life in that way. I think everything is a matter of chance and serendipity, some people are in the right place at the right time, others like me are never…

LITERALLY! I have nothing to live for

Same with me always negative situations wrong place wrong time.

My life is already over anyway. I don't have time for a "do-over" I have had Cirrhosis since 2018 and just quit drinking a year ago...and just started again today. My family doesn't speak to me (not even ONE person), husband is publicly humiliating me at EVERY given opportunity. I don't feel safe even showering with lights on or changing in my bedroom. I can't leave him because I have nowhere to go and no way to support myself if I did.
Let the "positivity police" spend one week in my shoes and see how those "happy thoughts" are working for them.

Exactly let these positive people spend obe day in my life and see how they can make themselves better

 

[SamTam33]

If there were no good reasons for you to have been born, then there are no good reasons for you to stay alive.

Unless you went and had kids... I'm always conflicted on that front.

Part of me knows how badly you want to die. Part of me feels like staying alive should be your punishment for having the audacity to create a person and forcing this life on them.

 

[BornToFail]

To prove them wrong...

The only reason that I feel I could apply to my life.

 

[nicali845]

my ex knew how bad i felt and told me not to commit suicide after i failed once ...not for those reasons but bcos no would care anyway if i did die after a few days...

 

[ctb★prince]

my ex knew how bad i felt and told me not to commit suicide after i failed once ...not for those reasons but bcos no would care anyway if i did die after a few days...

that is so cruel... but at the same time im trying to turn this type of thinking around and get as bad as possible so that no one will ever forget