Discussion Reasons to die.

[Unsure and alone]

I'm in a bad state of mind.

I keep entering the mindset ready to make an attempt.

Yet I'm still here

I'm still suffering.

I'm thinking a lot.

I'm thinking about why.

It would be so easy to just mix the SN and Water .

To just be done with it .

But it's hard isn't it ?

Accepting an end to you
Truly understanding there is no later.

Oh we understand that of course.
It's part of why.
It's a large part of why.
The end to it all
The end to the suffering.

And as I think about things.
I realize part of why I'm still here right now these past few days. Is understanding there's no turning back.

Because as I tried to dig deeper into why
I realized two things

1. I've gotten a bit too lost lately in wanting out than seeing the whys.

2. That I want to know if the stress of a certain thing for me is trying to make me go sooner or if I'm really that out of hope again already after vacation


I marked this as discussion even though it could be considered vent .

Because my hope is to start a discussion on all the messy reasons why .

To discuss how to figure out your own whys .

To discuss questions like what kind of things do you think should be considered in the choice of ending it or staying around a bit longer ?

How do you go about making such decisions as when ?

As do you make a bucket list or not?

If so how do you decide what to put on it ?

So yeah maybe I'm just overthinking stuff in this bad frame of mind but I think either way these questions are worth discussing.

So I can only hope some other people agree and a conversation can begin.

 

[Sulyya]

There's no overthinking.. it's likely the most important thing you'll ever do.

The reasons are almost unknowable, considering that people in the most dire painful conditions may find happiness and hope, but people with access to so much can be almost incapable of both.

I don't know mine other than just not being able to cope with everyday things or the world at large.

 

[fleshgarden]

I think the number one thing to assure that you want ctb is that you see absolutely no reason or goals in your future and have nothing to look forward to, or can't achieve those goals or reasons definitively (these reasons can be very flexible from this definition also). I've been suicidal all my life but always kinda knew I still was looking forward to things, but now I'm definitely set whenever I get a method and time to. it's when you ALWAYS are fine with any moment of your life ending and that you have no aspirations indefinitely..
I don't really see a point in a bucket list but it could be fun for your last few experiences, I guess I'd always thought I would want to finish my website so I have basically an "archive" of myself.