Venting Realizing that the good times are gone

[demuic]

Realizing that the good times are gone and NEVER coming back....it's brutal. I couldn't even fully appreciate it while it was happening. Those times weren't even that good, but they were all I had, and compared to now, they're everything to me. It's really true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Everything only gets worse as time goes on. Everything changes irreversiblely and you can NEVER go back. Only remember. And the memories hurt the even think about. I need to die because I can't move on and can't accept that things have changed.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I hear you. Especially about the good times not even being that good.

I think I'm holding out for a rich aunt to die or something at this point.

 

[LostMyWorld]

Realizing that the good times are gone and NEVER coming back....it's brutal. I couldn't even fully appreciate it while it was happening. Those times weren't even that good, but they were all I had, and compared to now, they're everything to me. It's really true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Everything only gets worse as time goes on. Everything changes irreversiblely and you can NEVER go back. Only remember. And the memories hurt the even think about. I need to die because I can't move on and can't accept that things have changed.

Yes I understand so very well, I just tried to CTB but failed and ended up on the 3rd floor for days. Make sure you don't fail or have someone find you to soon. It sucks waking up in the hospital ER and have 30 people surrounded

 

[Mr2005]

Realizing that the good times are gone and NEVER coming back....it's brutal. I couldn't even fully appreciate it while it was happening. Those times weren't even that good, but they were all I had, and compared to now, they're everything to me. It's really true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Everything only gets worse as time goes on. Everything changes irreversiblely and you can NEVER go back. Only remember. And the memories hurt the even think about. I need to die because I can't move on and can't accept that things have changed.

I could have written this myself. Well I could have tried

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Realizing that the good times are gone and NEVER coming back....it's brutal. I couldn't even fully appreciate it while it was happening. Those times weren't even that good, but they were all I had, and compared to now, they're everything to me. It's really true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Everything only gets worse as time goes on. Everything changes irreversiblely and you can NEVER go back. Only remember. And the memories hurt the even think about. I need to die because I can't move on and can't accept that things have changed.

I totally feel you on everything you wrote. I took everything for granted. Everything did a 180 in less than a minute because of the shitty choices I've made. Now things can never be fixed, and they will never go back to the way they were. Things were amazing for me though, and I ruined everything

 

[stellabelle]

Realizing that the good times are gone and NEVER coming back....it's brutal. I couldn't even fully appreciate it while it was happening. Those times weren't even that good, but they were all I had, and compared to now, they're everything to me. It's really true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Everything only gets worse as time goes on. Everything changes irreversiblely and you can NEVER go back. Only remember. And the memories hurt the even think about. I need to die because I can't move on and can't accept that things have changed.

There was always someone to come by and stomp on any hope in my life every single day. I have tried so hard to be happy or to help others be happy or just go on, I was never enough. People hurt me so fucking badly. People just kept doing it. And they did it for fun. It was not okay.

Realizing that the good times are gone and NEVER coming back....it's brutal. I couldn't even fully appreciate it while it was happening. Those times weren't even that good, but they were all I had, and compared to now, they're everything to me. It's really true that you don't know what you have until it's gone. Everything only gets worse as time goes on. Everything changes irreversiblely and you can NEVER go back. Only remember. And the memories hurt the even think about. I need to die because I can't move on and can't accept that things have changed.

There was always someone to come by and stomp on any hope in my life every single day. I have tried so hard to be happy or to help others be happy or just go on, I was never enough. People hurt me so fucking badly. People just kept doing it. And they did it for fun. It was not okay.

 

[deflationary]

Same here. The good times are gone before they ever really got started. There was more like a promise of good times for a moment for me. But that's all life has really had to offer. And all that the promise really did was to stir me from the level of misery I was used to and restore my capacity to suffer.

 

[hlynn95]

Sorta sounds like what I'm going through. I've already graduated college (in 2019), never had many friends or got to attend fun parties like most college-goers do, was denied into a sorority, just always the odd one out.
Then I lost my ex lover who will never be coming back. A huge legal battle that ended in him getting a restraining order on me. We had a 10 month affair... said he loved me, just to break my heart and choose the wife over me. I feel like shit because of this. I will never do that again. Being the "other woman"... was a huge mistake and now I'm left with a broken heart and potential jail time! (I might've broke the RO a few times cuz I couldn't help it and ended up reaching out to him). My heart aches and I have pure anger and hatred towards his wife who didn't even care to hear my side of the story and stayed with a cheater.

 

[forgotten15]

Sorta sounds like what I'm going through. I've already graduated college (in 2019), never had many friends or got to attend fun parties like most college-goers do, was denied into a sorority, just always the odd one out.
Then I lost my ex lover who will never be coming back. A huge legal battle that ended in him getting a restraining order on me. We had a 10 month affair... said he loved me, just to break my heart and choose the wife over me. I feel like shit because of this. I will never do that again. Being the "other woman"... was a huge mistake and now I'm left with a broken heart and potential jail time! (I might've broke the RO a few times cuz I couldn't help it and ended up reaching out to him). My heart aches and I have pure anger and hatred towards his wife who didn't even care to hear my side of the story and stayed with a cheater.

What about how the betrayed wife feels? Ever put yourself in that women's shoes?

 

[hlynn95]

What about how the betrayed wife feels? Ever put yourself in that women's shoes?

Lol she got to keep her husband tho. She trusts him a little less but they actually posted photos of them on vacation. He's basically sucking up to her to reel her back in. This is like the third time he's cheated. It's obvious she's desperate and he told me once "I can't leave her cuz she has no one else. I don't want to hurt her." They've been together 7 years... but me and him had a 10 month affair. We were saying "I love you" to each other for 3 months of that relationship til the ending happened. I kept threatening to tell the wife cuz I would get jealous and angry when he had to go home to her after spending time with me and using me for sex. I'm very bitter and hurt over all this. Please have some empathy & compassion for the heartbreak I am going through. This was a very attractive man and I was with him for his looks mostly tbh.

 

[Jacket]

What good times?

 

[Morbid Cam]

I would do anything and I mean absolutely anything to be able to turn back time. I've never really had good times just times that weren't as bad as it is now.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Yes I understand so very well, I just tried to CTB but failed and ended up on the 3rd floor for days. Make sure you don't fail or have someone find you to soon. It sucks waking up in the hospital ER and have 30 people surrounded

what happened ? What did you do?

 

[TheHatedOne]

I feel ya, I miss those teenager years when I used to have a best friend but also just friends, even though they were mostly fake at least I had people to talk to back then. Nowadays I have no one and I'm ignored everywhere. I'd give anything to have a best friend again but that will never happen again. I was stupid for ending that friendship.

The only good thing now is that I got rid of my abusive parents. But everything else sucks now. Each day that passes I'm descending further and further and I'm absolutely scared of what could happen next. I don't want to see a future, I've had enough.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not think I have had many 'good times', most of my memories are unpleasant. I have never wanted to be alive. I am looking forward to being free from existence and not having to remember anything.
I think it is just the depressing reality of life, things change and we can never go back. While I believe positive memories can be comforting in a way, they can be equally or if not more painful, as they can remind of us of what we have lost. I think we often tend to view the past as being better than it actually was, as thinking about the past can often be escapism from our current problems.

 

[ithappens]

If I could turn back time (while retaining my current consciousness) I would do everything differently. I can't say I didn't have good times of a sort, but even during those times I was being used, manipulated, and abused. In part because I was so desperate for friends because my home life sucked and I was neglected and my mom treated me like trash. The only good thing about those times was that I didn't know I was being used or yanked around by these people I called friends, I was just glad to have somebody. I think I had maybe 1-2 actual friends back then, and I fucked up and ended my friendship with them for years because I figured I was going to kill myself, and they had moved on to another stage of their lives anyway.

If I could go back, I would not focus on other people or being "a kind person". "Kind" people get used and treated like garbage, and are expected to always be perfect, always be the sturdy rock people need. But they are also expected to never have needs of their own, and authority comes down on them the hardest for any tiny mistake. Focusing on other people, with the exception of the couple I mentioned, is also a huuuuuge waste of time, resources, and effort; especially when most of them will toss you to the side once you are no longer useful or they find something better. I would instead focus on me. I would do what I wanted, consequences be damned. I would speak up and defend myself. I think it's also possible I would take the chance to run away and start a life of my own with lies and forged documents than stay in a toxic home and school system hellbent on destroying every ounce of my self esteem and breaking me to make me into a wageslave.

People take advantage of the young's naivete and innocence. Good times would have been even better if I had known then what I know now: that other people are not worth one's time or consideration, and that to be happy you need to focus exclusively on yourself and your material possessions.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

So true. If only I could go back in time. I'd focus on myself and forget everyone else. Oh well I learned too late.

 

[down for the count]

The good times have gone and with them any chance to change the trajectory of life. Now all that remains is time with which to do nothing.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Absolute truth.

 

[down for the count]

Good times would have been even better if I had known then what I know now: that other people are not worth one's time or consideration, and that to be happy you need to focus exclusively on yourself and your material possessions.

This is one of the reasons my friends and relatives turned out so much more successful than me.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yup. I had a comfortable if not precarious way of life. Poof. Gone. Now I face destitution in my 50s. Totally weird but entirely predictable given my Trajectory. Things could've been entirely different but for a seven second mistake I made on July 21. A course of action that Most likely will spell my doom.
They say that character is destiny. Our operating system ends up spelling out our fate. My operating system was damaged from day one. The grim experience I'm having right now is a manifestation of all those flaws.

 

[Beeper]

I wish that I had been more selfish with my thoughts. I tend to get distracted easily and will drop whatever I am doing (or thinking) to accommodate someone else's needs.

Because of this I tend to spread myself thin and acquire everyone else's problems.

I suppose it's in my nature to help other people, but this hasn't worked very well for my situation overall. I guess there is some truth in the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".