NSFW Real friends & therapists are chill with suicide forums [looong rant]

[SexyIncél]

People are kinda amused that I visit sasu, telling them what I discover. I mean, they don't want me assassinating myself. (Although one friend just sees it as a state-change, no biggie. She's attuned to the universe)

But they know a couple sasu people kept me alive when they failed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Even if they can't emotionally understand something, they flip into intellectual understanding

And they sure as hell aren't gonna tattle to the government on me, like whiny students calling teacher. tbh if they made the government kidnap me — ain't gonna happen, I'd lie my ass off — when I'm free I'd be morally justified in kidnapping THEM for a while and see how THEY like it

tbh it could be fun, kidnapped in my dungeon. We'll watch movies. But no popcorn for them!

My therapist tells me that everyone's a bit suicidal, even if doesn't look like suicidality. I can't listen to the recording now; maybe I'll ask her more about it next time. Maybe when someone says "I can't take this anymore"? When someone's will to power is frustrated: the pleasure at being the cause. Starting as a baby, realizing you could... cause things!

---

I dropped friends who tried getting my current location, when I was close to ctb. That crazed horror/panic in their voice on the phone, ready to do evil — scheming on how to guide armed government representatives

Did she imagine a touching TV scene, where I'm lying on a hospital bed with an IV drip & half-closed eyes, whatsapping her my thanks for saving my life?

"Thank you... I just needed one person who CaReD"

And she'd smile, pull down her mask, hit the pedal in her Batmobile?

Before then, she pushily wanted me to build some project together. Haha no, good luck finding someone. If you're gonna live and do "projects" to "help people's lives" you'd better have stood on the cusp of nonexistence and thus understood the true creepiness of life

they ramble on the value of life but treat it so cheap

---

The psych industry trains white hat mind-hackers — but with a crucial normiefying lobotomy. Is it possible to get a non-castrated shrink from one of those websites displaying their bland faces & uninspiring bios? You know, those bios that list the training grounds of their intellectual bimbofication?

Did anyone see that shrink here yesterday? Who dramatically unmasked and unveiled her manipulative lies that caused people to pour their hearts out to support her? She bragged about how she was from asia and studied psychology in europe; professionals always introduce themselves by explaining their hero's journeys that led to this Convergence. But I didn't catch the name of her school; maybe the Hannibal Lecter Institute?

Too much to ask for these shrinks to be the intellectual peers of a cokehead like Freud. They wouldn't let him graduate; the government briefly depends on the insights of weirdos who consider fucking their moms — then they factory-shove that beautiful crazy into the half-b0rken minds of normies so they can work at mental repair shops. Like how the government teaches people to repair its trains so the wageslaves can get back to work sucking off a boss



Last week, I played with a 9 year old at a park. Some parents like me, because some children like me, because I don't treat them like broken-brained little shitheads. No, we talk about Weighty Topics like "If I lift you to the rings, would you PLEASE not fart?" or "Do you know what 'efilist' means?"

We were on zoom with a sasu friend. I explained what efilism means. (Ending the world's horrorshow of suffering, where animals tear each other's bodies apart every few days or starve). I asked if she'd push the Red Button and painlessly end all life on earth.

As she considered it, I imagined her face displayed sudden comprehension of the tragedy of sentience on Earth. But my friend thinks I'm just romanticizing the moment

She first asked me if I'd push the Red Button. I said no, but efilism helped me understand some important things about the world. Then she said "Well, I'd try to speak with newborns, to ask if they want to experience life." Thinking a bit more, she'd ask people to vote on it

I asked if she was sure; after all, pushing the Red Button meant her death. She replied that she'd first want to see what it's like to be a teenager, then an adult. Her curiosity satisfied, then she could hit it

Now, our sasu friend on the phone is the sort of efilist who'd make FuneralCry gasp. (Oh yes, there's levels to this game. And FuneralCry isn't the final boss.) I knew she felt hilariously uncomfortable sharing her views with anyone, much less a clever 9 year old; fortunately I'd timed it so it was time to go

We gushed about her afterwards! A morality that effortlessly includes the concept of consent

I can see the normie headline now: "Two SaSu Death Cultists Corrupt the Youth!" Carefully misquoting, leaving out the noble philosophies flowering within a 9 year old

They're middle-class fascist bougies, pretending the aristocrats & lower classes aren't playing with cosmic notions of existence/nonexistence at the heart of the universe

I think adults project their own cowardice on children. You can send 18 year olds to the other end of the world, to kill some freedom-loving shepherds. Their kids play videogames where they blow each other's brains out. But to talk freely about death... you're only an adult once you're 18, no 21, no 25, no 50! Like it's the fucking kaballah or something

You know, whenever they finally fuck all the imagination out of you

Speaking of that...

That same efilist friend got annoyed at me wasting time (YOLO!) writing some sasu post. She impatiently snapped: "They're all dying anyway!"

The next day she sheepishly apologized, but I told her it was brilliant. That I hope one day someone will fuck me & scream philosophy, culminating in "They're all dying anyway!"

I'd be so high, my brains would be on the wall behind me

 

[MeltingBrain]

People are kinda amused that I visit sasu, telling them what I discover. I mean, they don't want me assassinating myself. (Although one friend just sees it as a state-change, no biggie. She's attuned to the universe)

But they know a couple sasu people kept me alive when they failed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Even if they can't emotionally understand something, they flip into intellectual understanding

And they sure as hell aren't gonna tattle to the government on me, like whiny students calling teacher. tbh if they made the government kidnap me — ain't gonna happen, I'd lie my ass off — when I'm free I'd be morally justified in kidnapping THEM for a while and see how THEY like it

tbh it could be fun, kidnapped in my dungeon. We'll watch movies. But no popcorn for them!

My therapist tells me that everyone's a bit suicidal, even if doesn't look like suicidality. I can't listen to the recording now; maybe I'll ask her more about it next time. Maybe when someone says "I can't take this anymore"? When someone's will to power is frustrated: the pleasure at being the cause. Starting as a baby, realizing you could... cause things!

---

I dropped friends who tried getting my current location, when I was close to ctb. That crazed horror/panic in their voice on the phone, ready to do evil — scheming on how to guide armed government representatives

Did she imagine a touching TV scene, where I'm lying on a hospital bed with an IV drip & half-closed eyes, whatsapping her my thanks for saving my life?

"Thank you... I just needed one person who CaReD"

And she'd smile, pull down her mask, hit the pedal in her Batmobile?

Before then, she pushily wanted me to build some project together. Haha no, good luck finding someone. If you're gonna live and do "projects" to "help people's lives" you'd better have stood on the cusp of nonexistence and thus understood the true creepiness of life

they ramble on the value of life but treat it so cheap

---

The psych industry trains white hat mind-hackers — but with a crucial normiefying lobotomy. Is it possible to get a non-castrated shrink from one of those websites displaying their bland faces & uninspiring bios? You know, those bios that list the training grounds of their intellectual bimbofication?

Did anyone see that shrink here yesterday? Who dramatically unmasked and unveiled her manipulative lies that caused people to pour their hearts out to support her? She bragged about how she was from asia and studied psychology in europe; professionals always introduce themselves by explaining their hero's journeys that led to this Convergence. But I didn't catch the name of her school; maybe the Hannibal Lecter Institute?

Too much to ask for these shrinks to be the intellectual peers of a cokehead like Freud. They wouldn't let him graduate; the government briefly depends on the insights of weirdos who consider fucking their moms — then they factory-shove that beautiful crazy into the half-b0rken minds of normies so they can work at mental repair shops. Like how the government teaches people to repair its trains so the wageslaves can get back to work sucking off a boss

View attachment 114519

Last week, I played with a 9 year old at a park. Some parents like me, because some children like me, because I don't treat them like broken-brained little shitheads. No, we talk about Weighty Topics like "If I lift you to the rings, would you PLEASE not fart?" or "Do you know what 'efilist' means?"

We were on zoom with a sasu friend. I explained what efilism means. (Ending the world's horrorshow of suffering, where animals tear each other's bodies apart every few days or starve). I asked if she'd push the Red Button and painlessly end all life on earth.

As she considered it, I imagined her face displayed sudden comprehension of the tragedy of sentience on Earth. But my friend thinks I'm just romanticizing the moment

She first asked me if I'd push the Red Button. I said no, but efilism helped me understand some important things about the world. Then she said "Well, I'd try to speak with newborns, to ask if they want to experience life." Thinking a bit more, she'd ask people to vote on it

I asked if she was sure; after all, pushing the Red Button meant her death. She replied that she'd first want to see what it's like to be a teenager, then an adult. Her curiosity satisfied, then she could hit it

Now, our sasu friend on the phone is the sort of efilist who'd make FuneralCry gasp. (Oh yes, there's levels to this game. And FuneralCry isn't the final boss.) I knew she felt hilariously uncomfortable sharing her views with anyone, much less a clever 9 year old; fortunately I'd timed it so it was time to go

We gushed about her afterwards! A morality that effortlessly includes the concept of consent

I can see the normie headline now: "Two SaSu Death Cultists Corrupt the Youth!" Carefully misquoting, leaving out the noble philosophies flowering within a 9 year old

They're middle-class fascist bougies, pretending the aristocrats & lower classes aren't playing with cosmic notions of existence/nonexistence at the heart of the universe

I think adults project their own cowardice on children. You can send 18 year olds to the other end of the world, to kill some freedom-loving shepherds. Their kids play videogames where they blow each other's brains out. But to talk freely about death... you're only an adult once you're 18, no 21, no 25, no 50! Like it's the fucking kaballah or something

You know, whenever they finally fuck all the imagination out of you

Speaking of that...

That same efilist friend got annoyed at me wasting time (YOLO!) writing some sasu post. She impatiently snapped: "They're all dying anyway!"

The next day she sheepishly apologized, but I told her it was brilliant. That I hope one day someone will fuck me & scream philosophy, culminating in "They're all dying anyway!"

I'd be so high, my brains would be on the wall behind me

Hilarious write up, although I don't agree with efilism and some portion on the psych industry, I was still engaged .

 

[Aisley]

Corrupting innocent children, links that mysteriously lead to your post, and a filthy dungeon? You must have a soul darker than death.(I don't mean that. Your dungeon sounds quite lovely, actually. What I wouldn't give for one last trip to a goddamn dungeon...)

For the red button, the vote would be the meanest way to go about it. The panic of the stupid masses is negligible, but the sorrow of the precious minority that truly love themselves and their lives? Everything should be sacrificed for these little beacons. imo, anyway.

I remember that cookie-cutter shrink, too. Mods deleted the thread, it seems. Too bad. It would be good for people here to be mindful of who's reading. Suspicion is healthy, especially here.

At the risk of lookin real fuckin stupid here, I also think everyone has some suicidal wish, too. I link it to half the shit in our lives. Our fascination/obsession/attraction with anal sex. For many, its enticement is in its 'wrongness'. The idea of a sin against nature. Because it results in non-procreation. The end of a line. Our draw to amusement rides. Fast cars. Smoking. When people can't bear to talk about suicide. Maybe they are like that because they've spent their whole lives terrified of letting themselves have one clear thought on the subject. Like they know just how fragile their desire to live can be, under the right circumstances. And they know, without knowing, that there is a desire lurking, to end it. End it now. Before it's too late.

 

[SexyIncél]

Corrupting innocent children, links that mysteriously lead to your post, and a filthy dungeon? You must have a soul darker than death.

Aww thank you. :P BTW you make interesting points, my unconscious needed to process them in dreams!

I remember that cookie-cutter shrink, too. Mods deleted the thread, it seems. Too bad. It would be good for people here to be mindful of who's reading. Suspicion is healthy, especially here.

Yeah, sucks for me that they deleted it, otherwise I'd run around linking to how much contempt shrinks can have for their clients

At the risk of lookin real fuckin stupid here, I also think everyone has some suicidal wish, too. I link it to half the shit in our lives. Our fascination/obsession/attraction with anal sex. For many, its enticement is in its 'wrongness'. The idea of a sin against nature. Because it results in non-procreation. The end of a line. Our draw to amusement rides. Fast cars. Smoking. When people can't bear to talk about suicide. Maybe they are like that because they've spent their whole lives terrified of letting themselves have one clear thought on the subject. Like they know just how fragile their desire to live can be, under the right circumstances. And they know, without knowing, that there is a desire lurking, to end it. End it now. Before it's too late.

Haha I think you're smart like the early psychoanalysts! Who were intrigued by Thanatos, the death drive

Reminds me... some months ago, I felt Eros & Thanatos were my Janus faces. (I saw Janus faces in some people; you'd see their nice face, then under certain conditions their dark face)



Your suicide wish concept makes me think of a lot of things. Like suicidal societies, with nukes & environmental destruction. They (we) refuse to free everyone to do things like find the immortality pill. Or at least automate drudgery so we work maybe 5 hrs/week, then be free to be fun for each other

And how some desire to go on a pilgrimage to the cusp of nonexistence. To discover what life really is. Shake off all the dumb pointless shit they do. See themselves as a strange dance, of particles coalescing into molecules, coalescing into cells... up to whatever the fuck we are

Like they know just how fragile their desire to live can be, under the right circumstances.

Yeah, in our psychological Jengas, what brick can we yoink so the whole thing collapses?