Ready to say goodbye, need a little help. heres my story

[happy endings]

Hello SS Family,

This is my first time posting, although I've been following periodically for quite some time now. I finally made an account and I'm ready to put my research into motion. I just need a little help. My preferred method is N2 with a hood kit from EM. I just need to figure out how to get a N2 tank & fill it or preferably just get one delivered already filled. I see a lot of you guys contemplating SN vs N2 or other various methods. Clearly we all want a painless exit. To me SN is just too unpredictable and has too many negative reviews. Some people claim its totally painless and peaceful, and others say some pretty scary stuff that I wouldn't want to experience. I understand it probably comes down to money for some people, so those of you looking for some help with this can check out this link for some help https://nitrogenexit.blogspot.com/?m=1&zx=17f2996f54bec911 it literally taught me everything and also talks a little about SN too - You're welcome!

I've been dealing with addiction for almost my whole life, and more specifically opiate addiction for over a decade. Currently, I'm addicted to Fentanyl. I see a lot of people wishing they knew where to get it and talking about going out that way. Let me just tell anyone questioning this, stay away from it. It's ruined my life in many ways. Even though I've been completely functioning with my own business and I have my own apartment, food in my fridge, and money in my bank account to get me by (By no means do I have any kind of savings). I just cannot stop using. I've been to rehab, jail, hospitals... it's the hardest thing to overcome. It's Still Taken SO MUCH FROM ME! I started with pills years ago, then heroin, and now I moved to a new state and all they have here is Fentanyl. Not that my heroin hasn't been fentanyl ridden for years now, which makes it 1000x harder to get off of. The withdrawals are so much worse and torturous. Depression has taken over my life in the more recent days, and I'm just tired of suffering. I've got plenty of other problems which I won't get into. The bottom line is my life has been a house of cards and I can't maintain it anymore. Its all about to be coming to the end. My business, family, money, everything in my life is dwindling away. I wish everyday that I could OD on fentanyl, but with my tolerance its completely impossible. I'm afraid to use needles, so I won't even try. More recently, I have come to realize I don't want to be another person who dies from a drug overdose anyway. I'm ok with going out by taking my own life though... doesnt make much sense i know.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble. I hope I could help even just 1 person with just a glimpse into my life.... now if someone can point me into the right direction of how I can get a filled tank of N2, I would be greatly appreciated. I'm ready to get this over with, but I need to secure a tank of pure N2 - until then I'm not even going to order the kit from EM. That part is easy. At least it seems easy enough. But why waste the money if I can't get the N2. I have seen people saying that it's easy to obtain online, but I can't seem to find anyone that delivers it filled with pure enough N2. Any suggestions? Thanks again!

 

[cloverhiding]

I understand to an extent. My family consists of mostly addicts , my mom and dad. I've feared of becoming like them, and I've seen the effects first hand these drugs hsve on people. I live with my grandparents now.

I am not going to sit here and tell you to keep going and hanging in, but I will say be kind to yourself during this pain , and if you do decide to part ways with this world, enjoy some time with things you love before doing so. Whatever you decide, ctb or not, you have my support.

 

[Holu]

Feels like we all new here heh. I wish I could help with your n2 problem but honestly I'm about as clueless as you(Although Amazon says it's selling a tank for like 400). Not even gonna lie your message touched me, as I have always wondered if I'd be better off taking drugs. I've only had bad experiences with weed and acid and so I never touched any of the other stuff and reading what you said breaks my heart to know the situation you're in. Regardless of what happens with me I'll make sure to stay far away from your aforementioned drugs.

If you end up goin out then I hope you go out proud of yourself. You've suffered through so much and if it really is the end know that your resolve was incredible. In the absence of your suffering may there be peace. All love and farewell soldier.

 

[GasMonkey]

Where are you from?

 

[SorrowfulDrugUser]

Drug addiction is about as nasty as it gets, especially with Fentanyl. If you don't mind asking could you get a little deeper with the start of your addiction? More specifically, how did you start doing pills and why? (i.e Was it just a fun thing you wanted to do with friends and escalated?)

The reason I'm asking this is because I've had my fair share of addictions but have recovered from them since as they were not as severe as you per say. Anyways, curiosity aside, I pray you find peace and comfort within the future, however it may come.

 

[Tobacco]

Thank you for sharing your story. I've felt tempted to try drugs before. Oh right... tobacco. It's been like a year since I last chewed.

 

[happy endings]

Where are you from?

NY, but I recently moved out of state

 

[happy endings]

Drug addiction is about as nasty as it gets, especially with Fentanyl. If you don't mind asking could you get a little deeper with the start of your addiction? More specifically, how did you start doing pills and why? (i.e Was it just a fun thing you wanted to do with friends and escalated?)

The reason I'm asking this is because I've had my fair share of addictions but have recovered from them since as they were not as severe as you per say. Anyways, curiosity aside, I pray you find peace and comfort within the future, however it may come.

yeah it started with the wrong circle of friends. I used to sell weed and other various drugs. I was always against or more afraid of pills though. I was in a situation where I needed fast money though and one of my friends told me he could get me oxycodone pills and would help me flip them. well in less than 24 hours they were gone and I made like $1500. so thats when my new career started. I did that for like 2 maybe 3 years without ever doing a pill. Until one night I went to the bar with the same friend that I just mentioned. Drunk out of my mind I decided to do one, and then over the course of maybe 6 months I transitioned from once in a while, to once every other week, and then after doing them for like 5 days straight i became hooked. I eventually got to the point where I didnt want that life anymore and I stopped selling them, I went to Rehab and thats when the real battle began. I couldnt stop and now I was paying for them out of pocket. My life began going downhill from there. Several arrests, several rehabs later and I just kept going. Then one day I was sick and another friend of mine roped me in to heroin. I couldnt get pills and he lied to me and told me he had pills. When i got there he pulled out dope and I was so sick that it didnt take much convincing and I just did it. It was a game changer. not only was it a third of the price, but I only needed a tiny bit. so in the beginning 10 bucks lasted like 2 or 3 days. before i knew it i was doing 10 bags a day. more rehab, more jail. Then i finally went on suboxone, and I meet a girl that does fentanyl. I dated her for a year n half and thats when the fentanyl started. But now as much as I want to stop, the fentanyl is extremely hard to get off. not only are the w/d's hell, but it stores in your body kind of like weed does. so you need to wait like a week before taking suboxone or you become so sick you feel like youre going to die, precipitated w/d. no matter how hard I try I cant get through the W/D's. I am in over my head. I was always functioning to a point where ive held a job and paid my bills. I technically still am, but Im more miserable then ever. The few times I have had a little clean time here or there, this shit doesnt ever go away. To anyone ever thinking of using opiates, just dont do it. theres nothing fun about it. Its a vicious cycle that makes suicide, atleast for me, like a dream. I have plenty of other problems Im sure also. severe depression, and other issues as well. I'm at the point in my life, where im just ready to go out peacefully. think of it like someone suffering from cancer, when they finally pass you think - well atleast hes not suffering anymore, and theyre in a better place. Its not much different with addiction. I know society is widely spit between addicts and the choices they make vs someone who gets cancer without any choices theyve made. But if it were such an easy choice, believe me I would choose to go back to before ever trying a pill. once i put that in my body it triggered something and you cant go back to unfeel it. it feels great, all drugs do. otherwise people wouldnt do them. but what they take from you over time isnt worth it.

 

[GasMonkey]

All the folks I knew from the US with N₂ cylinders have already CTB'd except @Kurt, maybe you can ask him.

 

[absolomonisgone]

your story. our story. My story....sometimes we must and have to face the fact..., it's over. ...., how do we want to go when it's over?...., when does enough become enough..... VNV. Music. When does bo have no meaning? 1:16.... when the calling finally comes calling...., this is 1:16....., WHEN DOES ENOUGH BECOME ENOUGH....., God has taken sides....

 

[GasMonkey]

My preferred method is N2 with a hood kit from EM.

Did you get the hood before escMode closed?

 

[absolomonisgone]

In the face of grave defeat
Are heard cries for mercy
No barrier of self control
No innocent composure
Abusing love and, like a child,
Inflicting pain upon itself
When the calling finally comes
Will there be no one waiting?

 

[UtopianElephant]

Can you get some other method(s), like weapon or sodium nitrite?

 

[happy endings]

Did you get the hood before escMode closed?

no wtfh? I just went to go on there now and realized something was wrong. i have the tank i just bought yesterday. I came here to ask if anyone knew what was going on and just saw your post. is there any way to get a regulator anywhere else? do you know why they closed? I just need a way to let the gas out at 15 LPM any help on this would be greatly appreciated!

 

[GasMonkey]

do you know why they closed?

Seems like they fucked up their domains.
But looks like they are opening again.

is there any way to get a regulator anywhere else?

Yeah you can search for Nitrogen regulators in other sources.

 

[happy endings]

Seems like they fucked up their domains.
But looks like they are opening again.


Yeah you can search for Nitrogen regulators in other sources.

wow thats crazy. thank you though, thats atleast a little reassuring. I tried searching for the regulator else where, i cant find anyone that sells it unless your in the medical field or like a brewing company. atleast the easy set up like the click regulator that does 15 LPM. I found something on amazon that you would connect to like a flow meter but i dont know what the other piece i need is. im fairly new here but i know you cant provide links to products, atleast i think thats the rule. is there anyway you can send something to me outside of here? Idk if I can wait until em opens back up in however many weeks they mentioned in that thread. plus i was ready to put the plan in motion, so this bs is kind of killin me right now - no pun intended.

 

[Valky]

Can you get some other method(s), like weapon or sodium nitrite?

op literally said in the opening of the thread why they do not wish to use sn, they already have a plan? he is asking for advice on that plan not for other methods

 

[GasMonkey]

is there anyway you can send something to me outside of here?

Anything can be shared via PM, but I don't do component searches for folks anymore. I have 120+ PMs open, imagine if I had to search for the components for the setups of everybody who PM me lol.

 

[lonelyrealist]

wow thats crazy. thank you though, thats atleast a little reassuring. I tried searching for the regulator else where, i cant find anyone that sells it unless your in the medical field or like a brewing company. atleast the easy set up like the click regulator that does 15 LPM. I found something on amazon that you would connect to like a flow meter but i dont know what the other piece i need is. im fairly new here but i know you cant provide links to products, atleast i think thats the rule. is there anyway you can send something to me outside of here? Idk if I can wait until em opens back up in however many weeks they mentioned in that thread. plus i was ready to put the plan in motion, so this bs is kind of killin me right now - no pun intended.

Hey, I'm in the same boat as you right now. Waiting for EM to come back.
I'm actually in a neighboring state to NY... How'd you end up getting a tank?

 

[happy endings]

Hey, I'm in the same boat as you right now. Waiting for EM to come back.
I'm actually in a neighboring state to NY... How'd you end up getting a tank?

i moved to NC recently but theres this company thats nationwide. i just went in there and asked for a 20cf tank of nitrogen and they gave it to me. if they asked what it was for i was going to say to fill tires.

 

[kadjflakflajlk]

Seems like they fucked up their domains.
But looks like they are opening again.


Yeah you can search for Nitrogen regulators in other sources.

Where in that link does it say they're opening again?

 

[GasMonkey]

It implies that they have been in contact with KLaw and that he has registered new domains for returning.

 

[happy endings]

Where in that link does it say they're opening again?

Seems like they fucked up their domains.
But looks like they are opening again.


Yeah you can search for Nitrogen regulators in other sources.

this was directly from KL himself...didnt say why theyre down but hes still very much in business! im not going to go around passing his email address out, but if you have it, send him a message like I did.




Our website is presently offline. Nonetheless, you can still order the Americana 580 flow regulator directly from me. The total price is USD320.78, inclusive of shipping.

If you're interested in proceeding, kindly reply with your contact information (i.e., name, address, phone, email) and I'll directly invoice you via PayPal.

Thank you kindly.