Help reaching out or ctb

[livinginthedreams]

Hey to whoever reads this. I dont know if i should reach out once again or just go. I know, everyone says you should be 100% sure but i honestly am not. I hate living tho and I really want to find my peace. I have reached out multiple times and Ive made sure to let people know im not okay and Ive waited for someone to come and save me but nobody ever really cares. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I only have the option to reach out to a counselor who has told me about a year ago I could have a disorder and should seek out more help, we never talked again. I now sit here alone and life is so bad. All my hopes are gone, none fulfilled and nobody ever came and asked me how I am. I genuinely think I would be happier gone tho. Please let me know your thoughts, thanks :)

 

[rowboat]

Don't force yourself to make any kind of decision if you're not ready. I understand how hard it is to feel alone and unheard in this world, but also how difficult reaching out and getting help can be.

I obviously can't tell you to commit suicide, nor can I tell you to tough it out. Just know that this entire community has your back no matter what you decide to do.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You might have a disorder but no diagnosis? Why do u hate living? What's triggering the suicidal thoughts? Have you ever consulted a psychiatrist / doc? What kind of help do you expect? Ik questions you can only answer for yourself.

You can always plan CTB when you see no other option but if you've not tried everything from your POV you should reach out again!

 

[Helvete]

Regardless of whether the people you reached out to did anything about it or not, it as brave of you to do so because that it taking initiative in a big way to improve your situation. It sounds like unfortunately you have a bunch of shitty people around you that dont realize how valuable you are. I feel like I would be happier gone sometimes too, but with your life, you need to think through your choices thoroughly and do what is going to bring you peace, although talking about it to friends and the people around you is always the first step to getting help :) Proud of you
I would recommend reaching out again more seriously as well

 

[errorsinmypast]

So sorry to hear nobody is helping or providing you with support. I often times think those around us and can be such huge let downs.

Do you spend a lot of time alone or are you getting out the house?

I'm a big believer in....if in doubt get out. I always use this when making big decisions. So If I were you and had some doubt I would decide its not the right time. Just my way tho

 

[Felodese]

"The thing about suicide is that you always do it tomorrow."
You don't have to make up your mind right here and now.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

It's your choice, I'm not in the same position as you, I'm definitely going to have to kill myself. I have no other choice.

 

[livinginthedreams]

"The thing about suicide is that you always do it tomorrow."
You don't have to make up your mind right here and now.

that really means something to me, ty. I though feel like i cant go on like this because it will never change if i dont do anything, no matter if its ctb or reaching out. It sounds relieving to know i have the rest of my life to commit but i feel like i need to make a decision tonight or i will completely lose myself. It is so hard to not know what to do, but ty for that reply

 

[snunu]

Hey to whoever reads this. I dont know if i should reach out once again or just go. I know, everyone says you should be 100% sure but i honestly am not. I hate living tho and I really want to find my peace. I have reached out multiple times and Ive made sure to let people know im not okay and Ive waited for someone to come and save me but nobody ever really cares. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I only have the option to reach out to a counselor who has told me about a year ago I could have a disorder and should seek out more help, we never talked again. I now sit here alone and life is so bad. All my hopes are gone, none fulfilled and nobody ever came and asked me how I am. I genuinely think I would be happier gone tho. Please let me know your thoughts, thanks :)

I think if you have options you should use every single one of them before resorting to it. Ofc I don't know you or your situation so the decision is ultimately up to you. It's terrible that ppl around you ignore your call for help. I'm willing to hear you out if you want someone to listen to you bro. I wish the best for you!

 

[livinginthedreams]

I think if you have options you should use every single one of them before resorting to it. Ofc I don't know you or your situation so the decision is ultimately up to you. It's terrible that ppl around you ignore your call for help. I'm willing to hear you out if you want someone to listen to you bro. I wish the best for you!

thanks! also itd be nice to talk to you! maybe we can pm (i havent really figured out how tho.. haha) :)

 

[snunu]

thanks! also itd be nice to talk to you! maybe we can pm (i havent really figured out how tho.. haha) :)

For sure! I'm down to hear you out. I'm also new here so idk how pm works here

 

[livinginthedreams]

For sure! I'm down to hear you out. I'm also new here so idk how pm works here

usually it pops up when you click on somebody but it doesnt show the start conversation one when i click on u so maybe its cause of your settings or because you havent unlocked it yet? It should unlock after a few messages total tho haha
or maybe because your account doesnt exist that long yet

 

[Felodese]

that really means something to me, ty. I though feel like i cant go on like this because it will never change if i dont do anything, no matter if its ctb or reaching out. It sounds relieving to know i have the rest of my life to commit but i feel like i need to make a decision tonight or i will completely lose myself. It is so hard to not know what to do, but ty for that reply

I know the feeling, and that's what I tell myself when the indecisiveness gets too heavy: I can always do it tomorrow. There's something comforting in that.

I don't have much else to offer. I'm really just as lost as you, unable to make up my mind. But sometimes knowing there acctually are people who can understand what you're going through, can help with the anxiety. At least a little bit.

I wish you all the best, friend.

 

[livinginthedreams]

I know the feeling, and that's what I tell myself when the indecisiveness gets too heavy: I can always do it tomorrow. There's something comforting in that.

I don't have much else to offer. I'm really just as lost as you, unable to make up my mind. But sometimes knowing there acctually are people who can understand what you're going through, can help with the anxiety. At least a little bit.

I wish you all the best, friend.

I wish you all the best too, if you ever make up your mind and go straight into one direction, let me know :)

 

[snunu]

usually it pops up when you click on somebody but it doesnt show the start conversation one when i click on u so maybe its cause of your settings or because you havent unlocked it yet? It should unlock after a few messages total tho haha
or maybe because your account doesnt exist that long yet

Ah yea my account still doesn't have 24 hours so I probably haven't unlocked it. Dw as soon as I unlock it I'll send you a message to hear you out. In the meantime please be safe

 

[Kalista]

Hey to whoever reads this. I dont know if i should reach out once again or just go. I know, everyone says you should be 100% sure but i honestly am not. I hate living tho and I really want to find my peace. I have reached out multiple times and Ive made sure to let people know im not okay and Ive waited for someone to come and save me but nobody ever really cares. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I only have the option to reach out to a counselor who has told me about a year ago I could have a disorder and should seek out more help, we never talked again. I now sit here alone and life is so bad. All my hopes are gone, none fulfilled and nobody ever came and asked me how I am. I genuinely think I would be happier gone tho. Please let me know your thoughts, thanks :)

There's no hard written rule that says you have to be "100% sure" to end things. It's your choice no matter what anyone says in here and outside the forum. If you want to leave, then I support you leaving. Living in pain is not living.

I feel for you when it comes to people not reaching out and asking if you're okay as it's the same for me. No one near you in person fucking cares and it's a painful reality. Once I choose to leave, I'll be dead in my bedroom without anyone knowing. My roommate won't check and the only way someone will notice is the automated email that I'll be sending out to someone. Otherwise, no one will bother.

If you think you'd be happier leaving, then do it. The other reality is it's not as easy as we'd like it to be. Being hesitant will make it more difficult to exit.

 

[UKscotty]

There is no rush and suicide is always the absolute last resort.

Ignore the people telling you all life sucks or everyone should be dead. The pro-death mob enjoy making others suffer.

You don't have to decide right now, you can give recovery another go.

If you decide to CTB, you are not trapped, escape is easy thanks to the amazing megathreads which have lots of easy accessible methods for those who are genuinely ready to CTB.

 

[livinginthedreams]

There's no hard written rule that says you have to be "100% sure" to end things. It's your choice no matter what anyone says in here and outside the forum. If you want to leave, then I support you leaving. Living in pain is not living.

I feel for you when it comes to people not reaching out and asking if you're okay as it's the same for me. No one near you in person fucking cares and it's a painful reality. Once I choose to leave, I'll be dead in my bedroom without anyone knowing. My roommate won't check and the only way someone will notice is the automated email that I'll be sending out to someone. Otherwise, no one will bother.

If you think you'd be happier leaving, then do it. The other reality is it's not as easy as we'd like it to be. Being hesitant will make it more difficult to exit.

youre the first to answer from that perspective. Thanks, by the way. I think i will try it one last time and keep my hopes low. I will leave though if it goes wrong or whenever i get the urge to finally find peace. I also really like what you said, living in pain is not living. I mean, why do people apply for euthanasia? Because theyre in a great deal of pain. Living in pain is like torture, whereas death may be your freedom, though nobody really allows you to see it that way because you're immediately labeled as a psycho.

 

[Felodese]

I wish you all the best too, if you ever make up your mind and go straight into one direction, let me know :)

Sure, and you too.