erdbeeren
Student
- Oct 13, 2021
- 100
I have planned my ctb date to be the early morning of March 28, 2022. I want to make sure everything is in order before I go.
My life isn't worth living. Never was and never will be. I only exist to serve as a money-making tool for others. No one can understand me. Nothing brings me joy anymore. I either feel apathetic or explosive with anger and despair.
I lament over my childhood so much. I long for the days when I could enjoy activities without thoughts of "all of this is pointless". I wish I didn't have to deal with my derealisation. I hate my disgusting body. The once creative, innocent kid had been raped by society to the point they are unrecognizable.
Drugs can't cure enlightenment. Increasing the dose will only change my body's chemicals to make me live an illusion. So I'm left at a crossroad. Either I continue my miserable life for possibly decades or I take matters into my own hands. Based on the tone of this post, you can figure out which one I choose.
My life isn't worth living. Never was and never will be. I only exist to serve as a money-making tool for others. No one can understand me. Nothing brings me joy anymore. I either feel apathetic or explosive with anger and despair.
I lament over my childhood so much. I long for the days when I could enjoy activities without thoughts of "all of this is pointless". I wish I didn't have to deal with my derealisation. I hate my disgusting body. The once creative, innocent kid had been raped by society to the point they are unrecognizable.
Drugs can't cure enlightenment. Increasing the dose will only change my body's chemicals to make me live an illusion. So I'm left at a crossroad. Either I continue my miserable life for possibly decades or I take matters into my own hands. Based on the tone of this post, you can figure out which one I choose.