purplemoon
I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
- Sep 22, 2019
- 394
I want to try drowning in a nice clean bathtub by overdosing on Everclear... not because it's tasty but because it takes less to OD. I'm sure I can add in kool aid cherry or something. I almost completely drowned when I was about 3 years old in a pool when my float thing flipped over and my legs were in the air, according to my Mom... she jumped in about a minute afterwards running from the house.
I do remember drowning physically... it didn't really hurt, there was pressure inside my lungs but it was just uncomfortable, not horrible, more like irritating. Then slowly as there was blackness around the edges of my vision that continued growing. Then the next thing was waking up with my Mom freaking out. I love her but now she has dementia and probably won't notice much that I'm gone. My sister is going to throw me out on the dangerous streets after only being here a bit over a week. She was the last family member I *thought* cared.
Not going to be homeless as a woman, no way. Plus with PTSD it would be total hell. No thank you. I guess tough love results in suicide if you do it to people that have PTSD. Anyway... I guess I have to get a Motel room, how frustrating and impersonal. I was hoping I could just play ABBA by candlelight but I guess that will take to long.
ANYONE have any suggestions on how to KEEP the ALCOHOL down??? (I never drink because it gives me headaches.... and i throw up easy)
Thank You Everyone.
I do remember drowning physically... it didn't really hurt, there was pressure inside my lungs but it was just uncomfortable, not horrible, more like irritating. Then slowly as there was blackness around the edges of my vision that continued growing. Then the next thing was waking up with my Mom freaking out. I love her but now she has dementia and probably won't notice much that I'm gone. My sister is going to throw me out on the dangerous streets after only being here a bit over a week. She was the last family member I *thought* cared.
Not going to be homeless as a woman, no way. Plus with PTSD it would be total hell. No thank you. I guess tough love results in suicide if you do it to people that have PTSD. Anyway... I guess I have to get a Motel room, how frustrating and impersonal. I was hoping I could just play ABBA by candlelight but I guess that will take to long.
ANYONE have any suggestions on how to KEEP the ALCOHOL down??? (I never drink because it gives me headaches.... and i throw up easy)
Thank You Everyone.