Venting Random rant

[Anyara]

Today I got rejected for yet another job interview..
Its been more than I can count by now..
Actually its been 203 to be exact, I really don't get it. I do everything right and get they reject me over and over again.
I feel utterly worthless by now. My girlfriend keeps telling me to get over myself that the right job is just around the corner..
However after my cancer treatments and now with my depression and personality disorders I am just utterly done.
There is nothing more in the world then just leave this world behind me and finally be at rest and feel what it is like to feel peace.

Yet everyone keeps on pushing me to keep on going and going, but rejections seems to be all I deserve..
Sorry for this rant of me wallowing in my own sorrow, and congrats for making it this far in my post.

 

[Roph]

Do you have temp agencies or staffing agencies where you are? Sometimes they can find you temporary work.

 

[Trashcan]

*hugs*

That does fucking suck. You have every right to wallow in your own sorrow after all of that going on. Hopefully there is something in your area like the above user suggested that would allow you to get some kind of temporary job.

 

[Midnight]

That's an insane amount of job interviews with no luck at all. That must be very hard on you. Can't imagine what it must be like. Have you made calls afterwards to find out the exact reason? What does the interim office say about it?

 

[Anyara]

Yeah I did contact temp agencies, but they are basicly useless. Here in the Netherlands they want you to look for the openings yourself and barely ever make good on their promises to introduce me.
I did call why I dont get it. They always say I was so close to getting it, but there was just someone better then me..

Tomorrow I have another MRI scan in the hospital and CT scan.. I swear to God if the results are bad i am done with this life..

 

[starcrossedfate]

Have you considered euthanasia (seeing that you live in the Netherlands)?

 

[weedoge]

Yeah I did contact temp agencies, but they are basicly useless. Here in the Netherlands they want you to look for the openings yourself and barely ever make good on their promises to introduce me.
I did call why I dont get it. They always say I was so close to getting it, but there was just someone better then me..

Tomorrow I have another MRI scan in the hospital and CT scan.. I swear to God if the results are bad i am done with this life..

Kudos to you for even going through so many interviews, I gave up after 4 interviews and 2 temporary jobs taught me that I'm a useless cunt. Whatever you decide to do hope you figure it out soon it seems like you're struggling.

 

[Sayo]

Wow, that's awful. I have to say, like weedoge, I respect that you pushed through so much so far. Even just applying to 203 jobs is a lot of work. Rejection is a scary and painful thing and it's difficult not to internalise it. Has your gf offered to look at your CV with you, or help you find something like an internship if you have an experience gap, or read cover letters? I feel like her response is probably meant to be encouraging but it's a little harsh, especially when you're getting the kind of feedback you are.

Good luck with your MRI and CT from someone with brain tumours (and depression, and personality disorders!). All those setbacks make it really hard to get a job. Society claims to be there for you when you get cancer, but insurers and employers sure aren't.

 

[Anyara]

Have you considered euthanasia (seeing that you live in the Netherlands)?

Thank you all for the kind words.. Its nice to read.

Sadly I dont meet the requirements for euthanasia. Since I am young and have my whole life ahead of me and all of that.. There is no docter in the country that will sign the release forms.

Regarding the interviews sadly there really isnt anything I am doing wrong or missing. Several people took a look at my resume and cover letter and it all checks out. It just seems everyone else better then me. And I am inclined to believe that.

Been nothing but a burden on everyone around me for the past year. Probably will be again, since I will need surgery once again cause there is another tumor growing on my liver.

So tik tak goes the clock ..

 

[Jaded]

Thank you all for the kind words.. Its nice to read.

Sadly I dont meet the requirements for euthanasia. Since I am young and have my whole life ahead of me and all of that.

So tik tak goes the clock ..

Really? You can't be traumatised from your illnesses or completed life/suffered enough?

 

[Anyara]

Really? You can't be traumatised from your illnesses or completed life/suffered enough?

Nope, its only for people in the final stage of incureable cancer, dementia etc. They say its also possible when you suffer psychiatricly, but you have to prove in several ways you have no quality of life anymore. Basicly all requests on those grounds have been denied. I know of only 1.. That girl was also in a wheelchair barely able to move besides her mental issues. They approved that one. All others where denied.