Venting random rambling

[Darkover]

being kept alive against my will when i'd sooner not exist at all, enslaved in a machine with no way out, forced to live through horrible life when you'd sooner just never exist at all but you don't have that choice, you are made to survive through all this horribleness in this hell world cause you don't have the choice to cease functioning made to suffer through a terrible existence in a awful place, and just so you can exist in this hellish way.

some people get to live while others have to suffer, i just hate all of this shit horrible life that is being enforced when you sooner be nothing at all, kept captive in this hellhole with all the other slaves.

you can't just escape this hell hole no matter what you do, you kill yourself and this place just bring you back to life to live through another horrible lifetime that you'd sooner never have

worst yet is you try to escape this living hell only to have it bring you back to life without you ever knowing,
i don't know what's worst the fact you are brought alive for short moment only to die and never exist again, or that you might never be able to escape this living hell that is this place for death might just be the end of one life and the beginning of another, how to escape hell you have to completely destroy it all

what a truly awful place, made to delicate, break to easy, with no way to fix, life to hard, made to live and die this way, life never did work out to well not when you just break hard, with no way to live all that is left is the end what a dreadful place, there is no way to progress when life can't keep going on it's very unpleasant here

under no circumstance would i ever put myself into a position like this where i am just enslaved in a hellhole without anyway out, so why do i let something else do this to me, because i am being forced to exist here against my will at all times, since killling yourself has been made very hard to do, but having to live life is much worse in the long run

when ever you find yourself in a situation where you're alive but don't have long before your demise, what to do, you can't save yourself you'll just have to watch yourself slowly die off into you no longer exist, is there any point to any of this

so long has i need other to be happy i won't ever be happy, so long has i'm dependent on others i won't ever be happy, so long has i'm enslaved inside a deathtrap i won't be happy.

probably never have anything at all not in a place like this not even a place where i can call home cause there is nothing here for us just these shity lifes with these shity people

life is just really terrible for the most part it's really not worth living in a lot of case, these lives are never meant to be, life just really isn't worth living through at all, we only exist because it's hard to kill yourself.

what's the point with machine lifes has shit has this i give up on something this crappy, you live than die so whats the point to my life, if i can't just live for forever right here right now than there is no point to these terrible lives

if i was ever going to make it here i would of needed someone else whos good with computer by my side or at the very least a family i could of counted on, instead of just being abandoned and spending all my time by my self it's both their lost and mine in the end but nobody was going to care for me at all.

these lives are absolute shit i would just kill myself everytime i came alive in this awful place that's really what i should always do cause life doesn't honor anything here, my life will be without success, i'd say my life was ruined before it ever even started by the environment i'm in and the people i'm with

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence truly is something so terrible and undesirable to me, I also despise existence and I understand that it's so awful feeling trapped here. But I certainly believe that death is the end to everything though, we are just waiting around to die, I see death as being the only relief from this hellish reality.