Ranaway

[MiMif]

Last year after an attempt things got really heavy with my parents and uncomfortable. We ended up getting into a screaming match (im from a colored family and this is the first time this has ever happened) and I simply said im leaving. I had no plan and i left. I had like 2k saved as I was working at the time and moved 300 miles away. It was good for a week I was homeless though but was able to get into a youth shelter then moved into a shared house with other college aged girls. Suicidal thoughts came every now and then but went away. July 2nd 2025 was the day I swallowed 94 pills (54 of which were prescription 600mg ibuprofen) the rest being Tylenol. I was around 110 ibs at the time and obviously survived. To be honest the attempt wasn't exactly planned but accepted. I was on my period and getting pain killers when I saw the prescription pills and took a handful wjich then reaolted in me taking the whole bottle and around a hand full of pain killers. Then after looking stuff up I realized that was actually deadly and was a little worried at first but ended up going back and finding another jar of the prescription pills and swallowed the whole thing as well along with another handful of painkillers. (Again I was 110 ibs and took 94 pills total) it felt like he'll and I remember wishing I was dead cause it hurt so much and I couldn't see. When I came to i was in the hospital and my parents were passed saying I traumatized my younger siblings and only think about myself blah blah. But its around the day I attempted and despite leaving I still am suicidal and depressed ( I also have bpd). I do feel.100% better without my family yelling at me every second but I fear apart of me is broken and no matter what happens it won't be fixed. Im thinking of buying a gun or sn

 

[fadedghost]

Last year after an attempt things got really heavy with my parents and uncomfortable. We ended up getting into a screaming match (im from a colored family and this is the first time this has ever happened) and I simply said im leaving. I had no plan and i left. I had like 2k saved as I was working at the time and moved 300 miles away. It was good for a week I was homeless though but was able to get into a youth shelter then moved into a shared house with other college aged girls. Suicidal thoughts came every now and then but went away. July 2nd 2025 was the day I swallowed 94 pills (54 of which were prescription 600mg ibuprofen) the rest being Tylenol. I was around 110 ibs at the time and obviously survived. To be honest the attempt wasn't exactly planned but accepted. I was on my period and getting pain killers when I saw the prescription pills and took a handful wjich then reaolted in me taking the whole bottle and around a hand full of pain killers. Then after looking stuff up I realized that was actually deadly and was a little worried at first but ended up going back and finding another jar of the prescription pills and swallowed the whole thing as well along with another handful of painkillers. (Again I was 110 ibs and took 94 pills total) it felt like he'll and I remember wishing I was dead cause it hurt so much and I couldn't see. When I came to i was in the hospital and my parents were passed saying I traumatized my younger siblings and only think about myself blah blah. But its around the day I attempted and despite leaving I still am suicidal and depressed ( I also have bpd). I do feel.100% better without my family yelling at me every second but I fear apart of me is broken and no matter what happens it won't be fixed. Im thinking of buying a gun or sn

edit: "passed" to "pissed" and "he'll" to "hell"?

i'm so sorry. that's an OD that hurts SO DAMN BAD. Do you have liver damage after or were you okay? How soon did they get you to the ER?

It's one of the more painful ways of attempting and when it works, first your liver shuts down and then you die of organ failure. It often doesn't work also because there are antidotes and the pain is so bad and the death so slow that it's impossible to not scream constantly. Such a horrible way to attempt that hurts so bad and either leads to a super slow horrendously painful death or more often doesn't work. I'm so sorry you went through that! :'-(

Are you working? Sometimes once you have a job and get money and can be independent it changes things and things start to feel better. I'm sorry your parents weren't nicer to you. I hope you try living longer... it might change, and you shouldn't throw your life away just because people were so mean to you... I am not saying it gets better. I don't know. Sometimes it does, sometimes it gets worse, sometimes it doesn't change, but maybe you should wait a little bit longer and see if independence makes things less awful?