Venting Quick vent - helping relations between others?

[Red]

Used to spend a lot of time encouraging and nurturing relationships between other people, smoothing out misunderstandings and mediating when things got heated, only to realise that not only does nobody do the same for me but they actively do the opposite; tear at and destroy my relationships, whether they have regular contact with these people or not!

I hate it when people say “you get what you put in” and ”treat others as you’d like to be treated” because it just doesn’t work that way. I spent a lot of time trying to calm my volatile family and felt I was doing a lot of good over quite an extended period of time - when I mentioned it in passing it was denied outright; they don’t even register the effort!

Find it difficult to feel okay in a world where things are so out of balance like this. I don’t mind the lack of reciprocation so much as the active effort to do the opposite and it frightens me, especially in a time when it’s harder to maintain my own relationships as it is.

It’s lonely-making and sad and I wish it weren’t so.

 

[Life_and_Death]

”treat others as you’d like to be treated”

It's true just messed up. It depends on the person and refers more towards negative people. No one wants to be around mean people, so yeah if they keep treating people poorly then sooner or later its going to get throw back at them because people will get tired of dealing with their bs. Sadly it doesn't exactly work this way for nice people.

Im sorry people are hurting you like that.

 

[MYTHoLogic]

"You get what you put in" that one stings when you have been the only one actually putting into the relationship

 

[NodusTollens]

Used to spend a lot of time encouraging and nurturing relationships between other people, smoothing out misunderstandings and mediating when things got heated, only to realise that not only does nobody do the same for me but they actively do the opposite; tear at and destroy my relationships, whether they have regular contact with these people or not!

I hate it when people say “you get what you put in” and ”treat others as you’d like to be treated” because it just doesn’t work that way. I spent a lot of time trying to calm my volatile family and felt I was doing a lot of good over quite an extended period of time - when I mentioned it in passing it was denied outright; they don’t even register the effort!

Find it difficult to feel okay in a world where things are so out of balance like this. I don’t mind the lack of reciprocation so much as the active effort to do the opposite and it frightens me, especially in a time when it’s harder to maintain my own relationships as it is.

It’s lonely-making and sad and I wish it weren’t so.

—hugs—
Sorry you’re feeling so lonely, you don’t deserve to be treated that way & dismissed. :/ That’s the unfortunate part of naturally being a mediator, often your efforts are minimized by people who come to expect it. You’re doing a good thing whether or not they wish to admit or see it.