Questions for long time users

[goodoldnoname923]

Ok so as you can tell by my user i joined this site close to about 2 months ago and boy what a 2 months its been. I really wish I would've found this site around mid jan to early feb when i was really going through hell perhaps I would've been gone by now nether the less i found it in late march and I can't say i regret it at all


This site is not only full of information and helpful people to CTB but also tons of friendly supportive people that are just good to have a laugh with or even vent about our struggles

I really don't get the negative connotations that this site gets,sure i guess the whole "pro life no one should ever die" narrative ways strong with normies but honestly most people i've found here do try to support people regardless of their decision they may push for certain solutions if someone is unsure in their resolve to CTB but they never force it like most people do or even accept if "yea this is the only way" some people are probably more save able than others i believe that to be true

But I genuinely dont get the bad wrap this site gets at all,but now enough gushing about this website I actually wanted to ask some old school users some questions 2 actually


1. What was this site like before its blow up? And don't just give me the "oh it was so much better back then" vague shit i mean fundamentally how was it different just genuinely curious on its change over time

2. I mean this is a suicide site right,most users i've seen usually join for a few months then leave either because they got their bus or decided they weren't ready to go anymore,so people that have been here a few years why are you still here? Is it an up and down situation where you wanted to CTB but for awhile life looked like it was going somewhere and came back to the shit? Is it inability to go or something else holding you back? Just genuinely curious this isn't a "oh you've been here X amount of time and your not dead" just genuinely curious on the jounary there


Anyways thanks to all those who i've met so far on this community I appreciate every last one of you and would wish to get to know you all more throughly

Edit:realising this should've been in off topic /: oh well

 

[Hotsackage]

Honestly don't really notice a difference lol

 

[Linda]

I haven't noticed much difference.

 

[Ln42]

Hi,
Question 1) not much difference, it was a lot about N those days, I think goodbye posts had more of an impact. It was a smaller community so you got to know people better, which I think was a disadvantage for me personally as it effected me more. However, it's also easy to get to know people now. Other than that, I can't think of any difference personally.

2) I attempted the amitriptyline method, ended up on a psych ward for 16 months, now back here planning again, which I hope will be the last ever time!

 

[willitpass]

The only difference is that there has been a shift from method talk to more venting, but that's a natural progression as you can only analyze partial hanging so much before there isn't much more to offer. The megathreads have all of that info, anything else is just an echo chamber of things that have been discussed 10000x over. Nothing wrong with that. People who want info can find it if they need to, and people who need to vent and get emotional support have plenty of space for that. The people claiming this site has just gone oh so downhill are just looking for something to complain about.

I took SN and nearly died about 6 months after joining, and obviously lived. Don't ask questions about it please, my goodbye thread is out there somewhere but I'm not in the mood to discuss that right now. I've had a few near attempts since, but the trauma of surviving 3 serious attempts as well as the severe trauma of mental hospitals has my SI almost impossible to overcome at this time. I'm currently severely self harming and hoping my body gives out. In the mean time I'm here as it's the only safe place to talk rather than going insane inside of my own head and keeping it all inside.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

It wasn't nearly as popular and it felt more of members were older back then. Now posts get quickly buried and many of them are low effort and repetitive. I hate saying 'low effort' but that's what it is.

Could you eleborate on what you mean by low effort? I won't ask you to say names but i'm hoping i don't fall under that category

 

[lovedread]

Ok so as you can tell by my user i joined this site close to about 2 months ago and boy what a 2 months its been. I really wish I would've found this site around mid jan to early feb when i was really going through hell perhaps I would've been gone by now nether the less i found it in late march and I can't say i regret it at all


This site is not only full of information and helpful people to CTB but also tons of friendly supportive people that are just good to have a laugh with or even vent about our struggles

I really don't get the negative connotations that this site gets,sure i guess the whole "pro life no one should ever die" narrative ways strong with normies but honestly most people i've found here do try to support people regardless of their decision they may push for certain solutions if someone is unsure in their resolve to CTB but they never force it like most people do or even accept if "yea this is the only way" some people are probably more save able than others i believe that to be true

But I genuinely dont get the bad wrap this site gets at all,but now enough gushing about this website I actually wanted to ask some old school users some questions 2 actually


1. What was this site like before its blow up? And don't just give me the "oh it was so much better back then" vague shit i mean fundamentally how was it different just genuinely curious on its change over time

2. I mean this is a suicide site right,most users i've seen usually join for a few months then leave either because they got their bus or decided they weren't ready to go anymore,so people that have been here a few years why are you still here? Is it an up and down situation where you wanted to CTB but for awhile life looked like it was going somewhere and came back to the shit? Is it inability to go or something else holding you back? Just genuinely curious this isn't a "oh you've been here X amount of time and your not dead" just genuinely curious on the jounary there


Anyways thanks to all those who i've met so far on this community I appreciate every last one of you and would wish to get to know you all more throughly

Edit:realising this should've been in off topic /: oh well

It was smaller for sure, def less daily posts and i think most posts were more about methods. Like another commenter mentioned, N was a huge deal and ppl talked about it a lot.

There really isn't much of a difference now…except I guess more infighting? But keep in mind my perception of the site is also different bc I interacted with site differently back then, mostly was only interested in methods and discussion around SN. Also i reckon it was easier to be new then than it is now, since there was way less gatekeeping and you could search off the bat.

My journey here…i was a lurker in 2019 and signed up in 2020. I attempted towards the end of 2020, and stopped using the site entirely. I ordered what i needed then stopped using the site. Thenn i visited again in 2023 bc i felt suicidal and realized i was still sucking at well, everything and have been here again since. Now it's the site i spend most of my time on all over again like in 2020. I found this site from either phils helpful handbook or lostallhope.

Tbh im not happy to be on here again, feels like major regression bc i really did try to accomplish things/make friends/find solutions so it wouldnt have to get this bad. Honestly sometimes it reminds me of my time back in involinpatient, except there are no POS doctors/therapists. I am very grateful for the community here though. I think the community has changed a bit. People (at least i know i am) are more cautious about giving out info and having it interpreted as encouragement. At the end of the day most of us dont want the weight of giving someone a link directly and then seeing a goodbye thread a few months/weeks later. And ofc we wanna avoid the journalists and scrappers like that guy on Reddit. Im here cuz im mostly confused on whether i should kms. Tbh ill def probably end up doing it in an impulsive moment. But i still cling to hope…stupidly. People overemphasize how "mainstream" the site has become. A lot.

Tbh..even when i used this site back in 2020, i knew eventually it would have to garner some media attention because it is such a different platform. This is a dark place, and it's easy to make salacious headlines about it.

The site really is mostly unchanged though. I think there's been a slight pivot away from what it was in 2020 but it's largely unnoticeable. Also wanted to add: i think a big reason we see less posts about methods and adjustments to methods etc is because well…everything that's needed to be said regarding that stuff has. Like the guides are so stacked to the brim w info already, pretty much every method has been discussed here in detail. 2019/2020 was imv the peak of said information. I think the site is less cut and dry than it used to be. I think there's more emotional support here now, which is something i really like. I lowkey think some users just like getting themselves riled up cause nothing significant has changed. Ppl act like it was some pro-death cult here before tanta and it just wasn't. It's never been like that. Anyways soz for the rambling i love yapping on here obviously

 

[suffering_mo]

It was smaller for sure, def less daily posts and i think most posts were more about methods. Like another commenter mentioned, N was a huge deal and ppl talked about it a lot.

There really isn't much of a difference now…except I guess more infighting? But keep in mind my perception of the site is also different bc I interacted with site differently back then, mostly was only interested in methods and discussion around SN. Also i reckon it was easier to be new then than it is now, since there was way less gatekeeping and you could search off the bat.

My journey here…i was a lurker in 2019 and signed up in 2020. I attempted towards the end of 2020, and stopped using the site entirely. I ordered what i needed then stopped using the site. Thenn i visited again in 2023 bc i felt suicidal and realized i was still sucking at well, everything and have been here again since. Now it's the site i spend most of my time on all over again like in 2020. I found this site from either phils helpful handbook or lostallhope.

Tbh im not happy to be on here again, feels like major regression bc i really did try to accomplish things/make friends/find solutions so it wouldnt have to get this bad. Honestly sometimes it reminds me of my time back in involinpatient, except there are no POS doctors/therapists. I am very grateful for the community here though. I think the community has changed a bit. People (at least i know i am) are more cautious about giving out info and having it interpreted as encouragement. At the end of the day most of us dont want the weight of giving someone a link directly and then seeing a goodbye thread a few months/weeks later. And ofc we wanna avoid the journalists and scrappers like that guy on Reddit. Im here cuz im mostly confused on whether i should kms. Tbh ill def probably end up doing it in an impulsive moment. But i still cling to hope…stupidly. People overemphasize how "mainstream" the site has become. A lot.

Tbh..even when i used this site back in 2020, i knew eventually it would have to garner some media attention because it is such a different platform. This is a dark place, and it's easy to make salacious headlines about it.

The site really is mostly unchanged though. I think there's been a slight pivot away from what it was in 2020 but it's largely unnoticeable. Also wanted to add: i think a big reason we see less posts about methods and adjustments to methods etc is because well…everything that's needed to be said regarding that stuff has. Like the guides are so stacked to the brim w info already, pretty much every method has been discussed here in detail. 2019/2020 was imv the peak of said information. I think the site is less cut and dry than it used to be. I think there's more emotional support here now, which is something i really like. I lowkey think some users just like getting themselves riled up cause nothing significant has changed. Ppl act like it was some pro-death cult here before tanta and it just wasn't. It's never been like that. Anyways soz for the rambling i love yapping on here obviously

Lovedread, were people still "easily" able to get N back then, in 2020? Or only on the Dark web?

 

[lovedread]

Lovedread, were people still "easily" able to get N back then, in 2020? Or only on the Dark web?

Tbh im not a good authority on this bc it was never my method—too expensive/too much hassle. But id say it was way easier which u probably know. I mean ppl would just refer to the sellers in public threads w certain letters/initials, something i don't see happening now…

Edit: even back then it seemed like a major hassle. I remember there being 3 main sellers all gettIng it from south/central America. It seemed easy enough to inquire about them

 

[willitpass]

Tbh im not a good authority on this bc it was never my method—too expensive/too much hassle. But id say it was way easier which u probably know. I mean ppl would just refer to the sellers in public threads w certain letters/initials, something i don't see happening now…

Edit: even back then it seemed like a major hassle. I remember there being 3 main sellers all gettIng it from south/central America. It seemed easy enough to inquire about them

SN was a hell of a lot easier to get, that's for sure. I ordered it twice, both times from major online retailers with absolutely no questions asked.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I haven't been here as long as some, but, tbh, at least from the time I arrived, I really don't see all that much difference. Maybe there's a little more traffic, more people that seem to come and go a bit more quickly, you know, kinda just passing through to see what this site is all about. That's really it. I think when I first got here there was more talk about N, but as that dried up, the talk shifted, naturally, more over to SN. Unlike FC, I don't see any more pro-life talk now than I did when I first arrived. Kinda has always been there. Honestly, I don't even think there's that much of it, not with respect to a site like this. But, I digress.

I'm still hanging around because I have unfinished business to take care of before I go. So, just not quite ready, yet. Kinda slow going. But, I'll get there. Now something else has come up that I have to deal with, so that may throw a wrench in my plans a bit, OR might force me to speed things up. We'll have to see how that goes. I'll just keep plugging along to get my affairs in order enough to where I'll feel comfortable enough to leave with some peace.

 

[UKscotty]

The site hasn't changed and we don't get much more media attention overall.

The reason most of us longer term are here as the journey to CTB is not simple. We all know we can literally be dead in 5 minutes with nothing more than a cord, but getting ready for that takes a long time. There is always hope, despite what the pro-death sadists say.

There are a small handful of people who like to attack the forum and people who talk about anything other than nembutal being bought back to the market and being given to every citizen. Best to scroll over the same drivel over and over.

 

[willitpass]

Could you eleborate on what you mean by low effort? I won't ask you to say names but i'm hoping i don't fall under that category

Anyone who is complaining about the quality of content on a suicide forum isn't someone you should be worrying about. Unless you are harassing or belittling users/groups of people then you are fine. If someone is bothered by people venting or asking questions about things that is their problem and they can scroll on past. This isn't Youtube, you aren't trying to build a fanbase, if you aren't hurting anyone, post what you want.

 

[Abyssal]

Can't answer the first one but

You experience something that makes you want to leave, so you leave sasu. Then you realize that you are stuck alone without anyone else to listen or understand, so you return to sasu. That's been my experience.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

1) I haven't noticed that much of a difference. I left on a hiatus shortly before the Tantacrul video so I can't say much on how that directly changed the landscape of the forum. The more prolific users do shift and change but ultimately the discourse hasn't changed much.

2) The reason I'm still here is partly due to boredom and partly because it's still the only way I can safely vent about my suicidal thoughts. I also plan to truly CTB once and for all hopefully this year and I hope that by staying in this site it'll help remind me what needs to be done.

 

[Red Moon]

I haven't been here for that long, I joined before the Tantacrul video the site has mostly remained the same. I don't see much difference, some users don't stay for long or they already ctb.

I'm just waiting for gta 6 to release, it's a stupid reason but there's the inability, lack of options and fear of failure that are also holding me back at this time.

 

[NumbItAll]

It was a smaller and closer community, I mean just look at this gem. Reactions were handed out more freely for whatever that's worth. I don't think the overall site philosophy has changed that much though luckily.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I Mean this is a suicide site right,

Pro choice...

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Pro choice...

I mean i could name examples of users that sit on both ends of pro life and death (which i will not) but generally it's about finding a way to go peacefully is it not? No one is being forced to do anything it is of the users fruition wether they choose to take their own life. Heck i feel there is even certain people that just use this place as a venting ground not saying their not suicideal or don't have thoughts of visions of it (if they did why would they be here) but how many people leave the site because life turned around or their urge to die vanishes

Sorry for my ramble but i do feel the need to defend my stance alittle as i feel your taking my words out of context as if i'm implying this is a site encouraging people to CTB despite the fact i've had no one really tell me to do so actively (expect 2 users) if anything i've had quite a few people understand me and even empathise with me even making me reconsider in some way which considering why i came here is ironic

Nevertheless I appreciate this site's existence and strongly feel against anyone trying to dispel us of this safe haven ironically people who cling to hope may resort to the thing people are so "desperately" trying to prevent

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

Could you eleborate on what you mean by low effort? I won't ask you to say names but i'm hoping i don't fall under that category

I think I covered what Anon meant in my thread lol

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

Hi,
Question 1) not much difference, it was a lot about N those days, I think goodbye posts had more of an impact. It was a smaller community so you got to know people better, which I think was a disadvantage for me personally as it effected me more. However, it's also easy to get to know people now. Other than that, I can't think of any difference personally.

2) I attempted the amitriptyline method, ended up on a psych ward for 16 months, now back here planning again, which I hope will be the last ever time!

Just sent you a dm @Ln42

 

[suicidesheep31.1]

1- I have the impression that before, the sources were not named fully as now.
It was more difficult for newbies to find out how to get them.

2- I came here first when I was in a really bad situation. I was a daily user.
I am in a better situation now. So, I just come sometimes to check what is going on here.
I stay here because this is a part of my life that I am still not ready to let go.

Edit: sources and full method names were not mentioned

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

If you're in the suicide discussion section at the bottom left of the page you can select what page number to as far back as 2018, I've been having a look and it's mostly the same except more talk of Nembutal and almost no goodbye threads, idk when they became a thing.

 

[jarik]

Ok so as you can tell by my user i joined this site close to about 2 months ago and boy what a 2 months its been. I really wish I would've found this site around mid jan to early feb when i was really going through hell perhaps I would've been gone by now nether the less i found it in late march and I can't say i regret it at all


This site is not only full of information and helpful people to CTB but also tons of friendly supportive people that are just good to have a laugh with or even vent about our struggles

I really don't get the negative connotations that this site gets,sure i guess the whole "pro life no one should ever die" narrative ways strong with normies but honestly most people i've found here do try to support people regardless of their decision they may push for certain solutions if someone is unsure in their resolve to CTB but they never force it like most people do or even accept if "yea this is the only way" some people are probably more save able than others i believe that to be true

But I genuinely dont get the bad wrap this site gets at all,but now enough gushing about this website I actually wanted to ask some old school users some questions 2 actually


1. What was this site like before its blow up? And don't just give me the "oh it was so much better back then" vague shit i mean fundamentally how was it different just genuinely curious on its change over time

2. I mean this is a suicide site right,most users i've seen usually join for a few months then leave either because they got their bus or decided they weren't ready to go anymore,so people that have been here a few years why are you still here? Is it an up and down situation where you wanted to CTB but for awhile life looked like it was going somewhere and came back to the shit? Is it inability to go or something else holding you back? Just genuinely curious this isn't a "oh you've been here X amount of time and your not dead" just genuinely curious on the jounary there


Anyways thanks to all those who i've met so far on this community I appreciate every last one of you and would wish to get to know you all more throughly

Edit:realising this should've been in off topic /: oh well

I'm not an old member but I've had friends here for much longer than me and I can guarantee you that it's always been like this, zero differences