I know that OD is not considerably reliable and I have researched online, deaths from Clozapine. I will tell you that I am very sick, severe malabsorption from ischemic stomach and intestines. I already have cyanosis from my heart being bad. My BP is 80/50 in the morning and my HR skyrockets with any movement. I'm having trouble breathing, I'm basically bedridden and many other issues.
When I was in the hospital, I tried to avoid the meds by hiding them under my tongue and spitting them out. But I had one nurse who checked my mouth when she was on duty. So occasionally I had to swallow a few pills. They were changing my meds from resperidone to clozapine and I had to swallow 30mg for 3 days. These 3 days I could not wake up, I slept 20 hours a day easily. I honestly thought I was going to pass in my sleep from these meds.
Since I've been out of the hospital, I have been stockpiling clozapine. I have SN but I just know this will be painful for me with my stomach and intestinal issues. I also can't take Meto for this reason. So the thought of SN scares me as I don't want any pain at all.
When I think about taking the clozapine I truly feel like it will be a peaceful way to go bcuz of how it made me sleep with just 30mg. I feel calm when I think about taking this vs how I cringe when I think of SN.
I'm also very frail 5'6 115lbs. Middle age. I don't have much natural time left unfortunately and it's living hell.
A man in his 20s took 2000 mg and ctbd so I think 1000-1500mg honestly should be enough to take me out considering my already failing health. (To get more than 1500mg Id have to wait 2 more months and I don't think I can take much more)
Want to get a few opinions as I was a health freak my whole life and never used meds. Ironic and shitty that I'm dying from no health!
Thanks for your time.
When I was in the hospital, I tried to avoid the meds by hiding them under my tongue and spitting them out. But I had one nurse who checked my mouth when she was on duty. So occasionally I had to swallow a few pills. They were changing my meds from resperidone to clozapine and I had to swallow 30mg for 3 days. These 3 days I could not wake up, I slept 20 hours a day easily. I honestly thought I was going to pass in my sleep from these meds.
Since I've been out of the hospital, I have been stockpiling clozapine. I have SN but I just know this will be painful for me with my stomach and intestinal issues. I also can't take Meto for this reason. So the thought of SN scares me as I don't want any pain at all.
When I think about taking the clozapine I truly feel like it will be a peaceful way to go bcuz of how it made me sleep with just 30mg. I feel calm when I think about taking this vs how I cringe when I think of SN.
I'm also very frail 5'6 115lbs. Middle age. I don't have much natural time left unfortunately and it's living hell.
A man in his 20s took 2000 mg and ctbd so I think 1000-1500mg honestly should be enough to take me out considering my already failing health. (To get more than 1500mg Id have to wait 2 more months and I don't think I can take much more)
Want to get a few opinions as I was a health freak my whole life and never used meds. Ironic and shitty that I'm dying from no health!
Thanks for your time.
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