quarantined with my b*tch of a mother.

[theuninstallbutton]

I'm sick of this quarantine sh*t. I'm sick of enduring my b*tchy mother's childish behavior. I still have a lot of work to do for all my online classes. And she'd constantly ask me what I'm doing. When I take breaks and talk to people, she'd keep asking who I'm texting, why I'm smiling/laughing, to let her laugh with me, et cetera. It's creepy as f*ck, because I would be talking to someone I was adoring, yet she would react very negatively if she found out. It's like I'm still a child to her. (I'm bloody twenty years old.)

I lost my appetite from stress and anxiety. I keep overthinking things over the person I'm fancying, and I naturally lost my appetite. I lost ten pounds so far. She has a weight problem and cannot control her eating, and she keeps berating me over not eating, thinking I bought diet pills, when I don't even take my allergy medication.

She talks about me to her family, exposes me, etc. So I know to NEVER tell her sh*t. I do not trust her, and never will. I just need to get enough money to move the hell out, so I can cut her and her sh*tty family off. I'm tired of being misgendered, treated like a child, being spied on, being accused of things I never actually done.

I'm not sure why she won't just leave me alone. I get that she's bored, but she has an ipad and a phone and the tv.

She also gets angry if I put both earbuds in, because I wouldn't "be with her." I NEVER want to be with her, or hang out with her. Not after she screwed me over growing up. When I was struggling with self harm at age 13, she would HIT my FRESH injuries and claim that I'm doing it for attention. (Never have done it for attention.)

This lady just makes me think about suicide even more. I hate her so much. I never have liked her. I'm not sure why she didn't get another kid who probably would have ended up normal, straight, and did everything she wants, so that she at least doesn't have to deal with a bastard child.

F*ck her.

Watch, the b*tch is going to go accuse me of buying diet pills online because I DO NOT FEEL LIKE EATING.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

She definitely sounds like someone to go no-contact with.

 

[waterbottleman]

She sounds lonely.....I assume she has no boyfriend/husband?

 

[theuninstallbutton]

She definitely sounds like someone to go no-contact with.

I truly wish I could go no contact. If I had the chance now, i'd do it in a heartbeat.

She sounds lonely.....I assume she has no boyfriend/husband?

Dating is taboo in her culture, hence why she would react extremely negatively if she finds out I'm fancying someone. They put a strong importance on virginity, just thought I would give some insight.
She had a bad time with her husband and after she divorced him, she made a vow she would "live" for me.

 

[waterbottleman]

I truly wish I could go no contact. If I had the chance now, i'd do it in a heartbeat.

Dating is taboo in her culture, hence why she would react extremely negatively if she finds out I'm fancying someone. They put a strong importance on virginity, just thought I would give some insight.
She had a bad time with her husband and after she divorced him, she made a vow she would "live" for me.

Damn, I feel bad for your mom.

 

[theuninstallbutton]

Damn, I feel bad for your mom.

Normally I would feel bad for her, but not after she emotionally abused me as a child growing up. She takes her anger out on me. Nowadays since I grew up, and she knows I will fight back, she hasn't laid a finger on me ever since I turned 19. I do not feel bad for her at all.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

She had a bad time with her husband and after she divorced him, she made a vow she would "live" for me.

How stifling! Too bad she can't figure how to live her own life and live for herself.

 

[theuninstallbutton]

How stifling! Too bad she can't figure how to live her own life and live for herself.

I agree. I'm not sure what she would do when I move out. She'd always talk about wanting to kill herself, despite me telling her to stop. (Half because I'd get triggered, other half is because she always dismissed my feelings as a child.) I'm extremely bitter.

 

[waterbottleman]

Normally I would feel bad for her, but not after she emotionally abused me as a child growing up. She takes her anger out on me. Nowadays since I grew up, and she knows I will fight back, she hasn't laid a finger on me ever since I turned 19. I do not feel bad for her at all.

Damn I'm sorry you were treated that way by your mother.

I wouldn't feel bad for her either if I were in your shoes.

 

[Broken Chimera]

You have to hold on until you get a chance to leave. Your mom is bad for you. Why not just tell her how you feel?

When I was struggling with self harm at age 13, she would HIT my FRESH injuries and claim that I'm doing it for attention. (Never have done it for attention.)

What kind of parent does that?

 

[theuninstallbutton]

Damn I'm sorry you were treated that way by your mother.

I wouldn't feel bad for her either if I were in your shoes.

I'm glad I'm not crazy for thinking that.

You have to hold on until you get a chance to leave. Your mom is bad for you. Why not just tell her how you feel?

What kind of parent does that?

Not sure. I try to understand, she never was exposed to behavior like that, despite depression running in the family. But it's still crappy.

 

[joshe]

Wow a lot of my own problems made sense after reading that

Does she sometimes act 'too close' with you? Inappropriate?

This woman is the number one reason why i will kill myself, and i can't work out why i cannot escape this place go no contact and start a new life. She speaks to my other family so i have nowhere else to stay since the lockdown.

 

[decafcoffee]

My mother does the same thing. Simple narcissism. i tell her to stop abusing me because im already suicidal and dont need more punishment, and she makes it seem like her emotional instability is a good enough reason. Funny how every abusive narcissist parent is so good at self control with everyone except their awful, misbehaving children. Both my parents are like that, im stuck w them way longer than i ever thought after having to leave the shelter due to rejecting the offer to live with slumlord social housing rather than the reputable social housing available. Still waiting on my final offer, fuck my fucking life. And my parents can rot in hell. I choose to keep going just for the chance to cut them off. They will feel the loss once their emotional punching bag is gone for good. Stay strong. Prisoners treat abusers the same way they treat rapists, that thought always gives me a little joy. Love you all, my fellow abuse survivors!

I agree. I'm not sure what she would do when I move out. She'd always talk about wanting to kill herself, despite me telling her to stop. (Half because I'd get triggered, other half is because she always dismissed my feelings as a child.) I'm extremely bitter.

 

[reichan66]

What kind of parent does that?

Sadistic ones

 

[choosingmydestiny]

I relate so much :( its fucking hard ... they break you down so you will think your worthless and will be their punching bag for life (atleast for me)... their craziness gets worse and worse over the years since they become more lonely and start putting you down even more... I already am sensitive to critisism due to ADD but also due to constantly being put down by my own mother... she is only nice to me when she realizes I need her help and she can feel good about herself. When i am happy once in a while she makes snarky remarks or ignores me.....
I am not blaming feeling suicidal on her because it is my choice should I end my life, but being stuck with her def makes me more certain of the possibility! I wish id had a sibling or a father... my dog gives me joy :)

I hope everyone finds their little escapes to survive this awful period. I would reccomend searching videos about narcissistic abuse on youtube, gives you insight to their fucked up minds! Stay safe everyone

 

[undersea_water]

Maybe it's time to scape from there.
Now it's complicated due the quarantine, but find a job and make money idk.
I totally feel you, her mind is closed maybe she needs a psychologist because she is affecting you w her own problem.


I believe you are strong and can go out of there, i think you can do a better life by your own.

 

[PureMetanoia]

I relate so hard it hurts.

But please, people, understand that women like her and so many other abusive mothers did not just pop out of their mothers' vag age 50 and completely beyond repair. They had every chance to refuse to turn into the monstrous husks of the people they could have been, hellbent on inflicting their own pain on their children when no one is looking. There is nothing more enraging to me than opening up about my mother's borderline/narcissistic abuse and someone doing Olympic-level mind gymnastics trying to empathise with the abuser and excuse her. WE KNOW THEY HAD/HAVE SHIT LIVES. You think they don't tell us on the daily? Difference is you can choose to break the wheel and not turn into the monster that you see before you.

They are victims, yes, but choosing to victimize others when you yourself come from a background of abuse? That's a whole 'nother level of bitchery.

 

[decafcoffee]

Dude i wanted a brother ever since i had a
dream in grade 10 that lincoln burrows from prison break was my bro. and holy shit, mental illness and abuse is so boringly the same! my mother is so much like that! my mother loves to put me down when i say anything that isnt negative, like recently i informed her the charger she said didnt work was working for me and she said Congratulations. The worst mind fuck is being isolated only with your abusers and having literally nobody else. Not that i was so well off before, just could go to starbucks and shit which definitely helped a lot. Chat w me any time anyone reading this. I find nobody understands unless they experienced emotional abuse themselves. Oh and i have to use her shitty tablet since im not allowed my own wifi access. Jesus fuck, i cant even. Last night my father acted like a pig and i wanted so badly to just go downtown and hang out with a friendly homeless person all night, but i decided to save that for when he kicks me out for the night instead of just threatening to because i will get tired of doing that otherwise.

I relate so much :( its fucking hard ... they break you down so you will think your worthless and will be their punching bag for life (atleast for me)... their craziness gets worse and worse over the years since they become more lonely and start putting you down even more... I already am sensitive to critisism due to ADD but also due to constantly being put down by my own mother... she is only nice to me when she realizes I need her help and she can feel good about herself. When i am happy once in a while she makes snarky remarks or ignores me.....
I am not blaming feeling suicidal on her because it is my choice should I end my life, but being stuck with her def makes me more certain of the possibility! I wish id had a sibling or a father... my dog gives me joy :)

I hope everyone finds their little escapes to survive this awful period. I would reccomend searching videos about narcissistic abuse on youtube, gives you insight to their fucked up minds! Stay safe everyone

This shit fucks me up because i will never have kids and so far never been in close relationship w anyone so im not sure if i would display abusive tendencies, but my parents dont display the empathy i have developed the more i was abused by life. How the fuck is it that i am a social leper with a cruel joke of a life, no friends, yet i care deeply about others and want the world to be better for those who suffer the most? What the fuck made me so different? Why arent more people like me? Hope one day i can put my experiences and empathy to better use. I mean, i hate people, but i know not everyone is a selfish shitbag and i live for them. Too bad my anger is all these basic bitches see.

I relate so hard it hurts.

But please, people, understand that women like her and so many other abusive mothers did not just pop out of their mothers' vag age 50 and completely beyond repair. They had every chance to refuse to turn into the monstrous husks of the people they could have been, hellbent on inflicting their own pain on their children when no one is looking. There is nothing more enraging to me than opening up about my mother's borderline/narcissistic abuse and someone doing Olympic-level mind gymnastics trying to empathise with the abuser and excuse her. WE KNOW THEY HAD/HAVE SHIT LIVES. You think they don't tell us on the daily? Difference is you can choose to break the wheel and not turn into the monster that you see before you.

They are victims, yes, but choosing to victimize others when you yourself come from a background of abuse? That's a whole 'nother level of bitchery.

 

[choosingmydestiny]

I am currently not functioning because of the medication I am on, but I am hoping to do some volunteer work in the summer one I adjust to medication... I have seen a few animal shelters near me that ask for some light but satisfying work (taking care of cats and cleaning the litterboxes lol)... I just want to do something positive for a change and not feel sad about myself, but that shit is hard when you have no self esteem anyway and even when I mean well I still feel like I am bothering other people with my presence... this is not rational offcourse .... I have been to therapy and watch a lot of self help videos on youtube but putting theoru into practice seems impossible

is there anyone here that feels like this?



And yes I agree, my mother had been isolating herself for years and when I confront her she says she doesnt want any friends... yet she asks me to go out with her which I usually refuse because she always makes a spectable of herself and calls me out for the most random things... like walking ahead of her or being "arrogant" its just me being sarcastic in a subtle way :p while she mostly screams when she talks